1. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    hello there.am new to this.hope there is someone out there who can help.my dad has had the signs of alzheimers for a good while now.i recognise the symptoms as i work in a care home.he is driving my mum mad with his constant repetitivness,not washing or changing etc.the problem is he was diagnosed with pernicious anemia 12 months ago which can cause dementia like symptoms.however he is having the cytamen injection and his symptoms are worsening.how do i get him to the G.P when he refuses to accept there is a problem.Am going a bit crazy trying to do the right thing.please help:confused:
     
  2. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Hello Elaine, welcome to TP

    It is a worry for you all and you obviously need to find the cause of the memory problems as soon as possible.

    The easiest way is probably to let his GP know by writing or phoning them, better yet go and see them yourself.

    We only got Mum there by saying it was a routine check up, but as the GP was aware of our concerns he got the ball rolling to get a diagnosis for her.

    Who does the injections, by the way, maybe they can help you out?

    Kathleen
     
  3. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    thanks i was thinking of getting him there under false pretences.the practice nurse at surgery does the injections.am just wondering if the G.P will talk to me with having to maintain confidentiality,thankyou for replying,now i know i can talk to someone as my brothers and sister leave me to it and am the youngest.
     
  4. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
  5. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Elaine,
    Welcome to TP. I'm sure you'll find a wealth of support and information here. None of us is an expert, but we are Carers and we all have our own stories, triumphs, tragedies and burdens to share. I could not imagine taking this journey without TP - it is my absolute life saver!

    It doesn't seem fair that the burden of responsibility lies on you. Is this something you want to do alone or are your siblings just "absent" from their responsibilities?? (You might find the Siblings thread interesting!!)

    Perhaps you could ask your GP to ask your Dad to go in for a "regular check up" - particularly if he hasn't ad one for a while? Some people on TP have been successful in persuading a parent or partner to see the doctor by saying they need an "over 65s" check - I guess you could adapt this little fib to suit your Dad's age!!

    If you work in a Care Home you probably don't need anyone to tell you that fibbing is sometimes the only way forward with Dementia sufferers. As relatives (spouses, partners, children, grandchildren, etc.) we find this very hard to do - but it seems essential at times.

    Wishing you the best of luck and hoping you get some help soon.
     
  6. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Elaine, just a thought, maybe if you shared your concerns with the nurse, she may pass these concerns on to your dad's GP. Then maybe the receptionist could phone telling dad the GP needed to see him, your dad would probably be more likely to respond. Hope all goes well. Taffy.
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Elaine, I'm sure Taffy is right. Our practice nurse will say 'There's something I'm not sure about here, I'd like you to make an appointment to see your doctor just to check it over.' In the meantime she's making notes on the computer for the GP to read.

    I think your dad would be more likely to respond to this than to ask him to make a special appointment.

    Good luck, let us know how you get on.
     
  8. Nebiroth

    Nebiroth Registered User

    Aug 20, 2006
    3,518
    It sounds as though you - or mum - need to go and have a chat with dad's GP and raise your concerns. After this it is more than likely that the GP will use dad's regular visit to the nurse as an opportunity to see him. This is exactly what we did when dad was becoming agressive and paranoid; we went to see his GP (who is also ours), and the GP saw dad was having a blood-pressure test in the near future. He just asked the nurse to call him in during this. MOst GP's will be quite aware of the problems of patients with this sort of condition and the situation that family members find themselves in, and how difficult it is to get patients to see the doctor by the usual way.

    Dad is most unlikely to walk out if the doctor "pops in to see him" during his visit to the nurse, and will probably co-operate if the doctor "asks to see him for a checkup". Most people (particularly older people) regard the doctor as an authority figure in this respect.

    Mum should also go and see the GP in her own right if all this is impacting on her own health. Of course it is very handy if both happen to have the same GP.

    Unfortunately, in this situation, some subterfuge is called for!
     
  9. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Thanks for your reply.I have actually rung my fathers G.P's secretary this morning and explained the situation.She is passing this on to the G.P and am awaiting a call back.Thanks again.elaine
     
  10. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Well done, let us know how you get on.............fingers crossed for you.

    Kathleen
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Yes I 2nd that well done , hope you let us all know how your getting on
     
  12. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    hi there,sorry i didnt reply yesterday,work work work!anyway i spoke to dads G.P who offered me anappointment to relay our concerns whereby she would listen but would be unable to comment due to confidentiality.alternativley she said i could put it all in a letter for her to read and she would take it from there.it all seems daft when at work i can speak to residents G.Ps about their problems but i can't speak to one about my own dad.human rights go out the window when your in care.not right but hey ho.thanks to everyone for listening and giving good advice.got two days off now to really get into this website.its wonderful.let you know any developments.elaine:)
     
  13. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Frustrating I know!

    The letter idea is a good one though, since you can then keep it on record and maybe use it for someone else to learn of the situation.
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,594
    Kent
    Dear Elaine.

    Don`t be put off by the doctor saying she could listen but not comment, even though it`s frustrating when you can discuss residents but not your dad.

    I was very concerned about a neighbour. I consulted her GP, who listened but did not comment, but acted on my information the next day.

    I always write to doctors about my husband, expecially prior to an appointment.This saves discussing my husband in front of him, and tells the doctors how he really is. I have been told the doctors appreciate the information.

    Take care
     
  15. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    thanks for that.i have written the letter and have probably expressed more emotion in it than i would face to face.just hope we get somewhere for his sake more than anything.elaine
     
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,594
    Kent
    It is so much easier to write it down, than tell it face to face. I know exactly what you mean. Hope it goes well. xx
     
  17. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    who do i please?

    sorry but got another predicament i need help with.Although i am divorced my ex partner still has a lot of input with me and the kids.To be honest i could not work if he didn't arrange his work around mine.For that i am grateful.However he has just been to see the kids and is not happy that i have said that i am no longer prepeared to commit myself for extra shifts at work as i feel my time would be better spent with my dad and helping my mum,Although my primary concerns are my kids and their welfare i don't see that they would suffer by me helping mum and dad.after all they don't mind me going to work and helping other peoples parents.Am i right in putting what i think is important to me first?my kids have a good life and thats all i want for my parents.am i selfish on the kids?please help:confused:
     
  18. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    thanks.will keep you posted.xelaine:)
     
  19. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    thanks

    i am not replying to anyone in particular.all i want to say is that being a new member of TP and the responses i have had from my thread are wonderful.Knowing i can just switch on log in and talk to my hearts content is amazing.Wish mum had a PC and knew how to use it.She needs someone to spout off too.anyway thanks all you out ther that suffer what i do.x elaine
     

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