I have been reading this forum and felt the need to write a message. I'm a 40 year old male who's father is in a nursing home.He is 77. I had an up and down relationship with my Dad, often violent on his part, with zero encouragement or, frankly, affection, thorough most of my childhood. He mellowed as he got older, and was extremely bright, with several patents to his name. His Dad was violent and had big problems of his own. That said, we were not close, and often had huge rows. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 8 years ago and is now unable to talk, feed or toilet himself. I love the old man and feel so helpless, I have two boys of my own to look after and don't get to see him as often as I would like. I miss him for what he was, we used to make planes together, he helped me make a go-kart, and restore my first car. Now I'm a dad I try and do the best I can for my boys but I miss him so much. He would enjoy his grandkids so much, like my father in law does but will miss it, my wife has a real issue with the kids going to the home (which I understand) but a part of my life has gone. Some of the messages on here have really touched me, and while I'm not after sympathy it's reassuring though horrible to know I'm not alone.