1. Lucindifairy

    Lucindifairy Registered User

    Sep 26, 2006
    1
    I'm 18 years old and my dad is in a home. He has had alzheimers for most of my teenage life and I can tell you, it has been very difficult in so many ways.
    Unfortunatly, since he has gone in a home, dealing with the emotional complexities that only other carers can understand, means I have become severly depressed.
    I wish that people wouldn't look at me and put me in the box "teenage angst". If only they knew what I've been through and I don't think that many people do understand, as I don't know anyone else with alzheimers, let alone someone of my age who's father has it.
    I never had a dad, not because he left or died, but because he had alzheimers. I wish that I could make him better again because although he was a miserable git sometimes, he was my dad, and you only have one, and I want mine back.
    So I've sent our short story out into the void.
    Thanks for listening
     
  2. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    Lucindifairy

    Just wanted to welcome you to TP and say Hi. Sorry to hear that you have depression, can totally understand why as you said
    until and unless your life is touched by dementia it's an unknown quantity to most people.
    Hope you are getting some help yourself,grab any offered to you with both hands don't let 'them' fob you off with the 'teenage angst' stuff, depression is depression at whatever age you are.
    Come back and post, it helps most of us who lurk here:eek: and sometimes it's easier to talk (and occasionally scream!) to 'virtual' friends.
    Take care of yourself.
     
  3. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Lucindifairy,
    Welcome to TP - the thing is, this isn't a void - just a definite place, full of people caring for loved ones with alzheimers, and caring for one another. I think we all know well that feeling and screaming of "I want mine back" - but from your point of view, you must feel tht we are so lucky to have had parents or partners for so many years. Life is so unfair - but I always tell my kids ' no-one ever told you otherwise'.
    Do you have friends or family that you can talk to? What about your mum? Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling?
    Do post again if you want to - the more on this site, the merrier!, and we gain strength from one another.
    Love Helen
     
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,419
    Hi Lucindifairy
    Welcome to TP

    As the mother of teenagers, and as someone who just remembers being one, I have always thought that the concept of "teenage angst" is very artificial. While it's true that teenagers may not, on the whole, have as much experience in dealing with specific problems as those of us who are older, the actual problems are no different to those of the rest of us, and that is compounded by the fact that if you are younger, you may not have as much control over a situation as would an older person. Doesn't help you much, I know, but understand that not everyone who is older will dismiss a young person's problems as trivial.

    As for dementia, very few of us have had any experiences that prepare us for this. Apart from anything else, each sufferer presents in a unique way. There are a few posters on TP whose professional lives have had them dealing with dementia patients, but when it comes to their own nearest and dearest, they're as much at sea as the rest of us.

    Something you can control, though, is your own health. If you haven't already, please see your GP about your depression. If he/she has been no use (and it happens unfortunately) call childline (0800 1111) I realise you're NOT a child but they are used to helping young people.

    Jennifer
     
  5. nicetotalk

    nicetotalk Registered User

    Sep 22, 2006
    155
    stretford
    Hi lucindifairy

    Iam so sorry to hear about you dad it must be awful for you dealing with this. Have you other family members you can to to about this. And it is hard if people around you dont understand,you have to go through something like this yourself to understand and people on here will. I would go and see your doctor just to tell him how you are feeling and if at any time you feel low or just need to ofload have a moan anything come on here and do it you will find it helpful i think.

    take care
    kathyx
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,733
    Kent
    #6 Grannie G, Sep 27, 2006
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2006
    Hello Lucindifairy

    I read your post and felt so sorry for you, for your deep depression and sadness about your poor Dad.

    Please seek help from your GP. I know s/he won`t be able to wave a magic wand and make everything that`s bad in your life just go away, and I`m sure you won`t expect him/her to, but I`m sure s/he will be able to help a little bit.

    I used to work with young teenagers, and when Liz`s Dad died, her behaviour was severely affected. When she was counselled, she admitted she hurt because she was the only one in her Class without a dad.

    It wasn`t her Dad`s fault he died and it isn`t your dad`s fault he has Alzheimers.

    It`s such a terrible condition and as hard as it is for the sufferers to bear, it`s as hard for their families to watch and live with.

    Please get help. You have friends here at TP but you need more. Take care. Grannie G
     
  7. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Lucindifairy
    So glad you found TP....you'll find so many people here who do understand what your going through....we help each other through ....
    take care and keep posting
    love
    xx
     
  8. wendy43uk

    wendy43uk Registered User

    Dec 22, 2005
    64
    sheffield
    hi hope uou feel a bit better today just to let uou know i have a darghtor who is 16y and like uou her dad has alz since she was 12y its been a hard road for us and her she cant have her friends to the house well she could but wont she cant rember her dad as normal its rotton for uou and her but nothing will make him the man he was but hes still dad and uou still love him and it hurts but if dad was well he would hate the fact uou are so unhappy so try to take one day at a time try to enjoy been young uou deserve it a big HUGX
     
  9. crums

    crums Registered User

    May 22, 2004
    12
    shipley
    hi lucindifairy welcom to tp i am so sorry to hear about your dad. my husband also as just gone in to a home and we have two 18 year old sons so i undserstand a little of wot you must be going through. our sons also feel as though they never had a dad around when he was needed and that friends dont really understand wots going on we went through a stage when they wouldnt have friends around but i encouraged them to ask them round as they needed to carry on with their lives as best as they could their friends have been very supportive and understanding through the hard times so please talk to your freinds family doctor ect....one thing i tell my sons and that is to remember all the good times they had with dad and he wouldnt want them to be so unhappy and they should make the most off their lives....as hard as it is...take care and a big hug xxx
     
  10. janices666

    janices666 Registered User

    Jun 23, 2006
    19
    Kent
    Hi Lucindifairy.
    Welcome to TP, i do hope you are feeling better today, and i am very sorry to hear about your dad. I have a 17 year old daughter called Lisa, and her dad as alzheimers and is in a care home. She was only 13 when he was first diagonosed, but he had symptoms a couple of years before that. Lisa does find it very hard because he is not the same dad she used to have a laugh and joke with, and ask advice and give her a cuddle when she needs one and she finds it very hard visiting him, because he is getting worse now.Please remember you are not alone and when ever you feel like a chat you can relie on us at TP, look after yourselve and post again soon.
    Janice.;)
     

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