My Dad


Registered User
Jan 17, 2005
Don't Know If You Remember Me, Not Been On Line For A While. My Dad Got Alzheimers, When I Was On Line A While Ago My Mom Would Not Seek Help, Unfortunatly My Dad Is Now In Full Time Nursing Care And We All Miss Him So Much Especially Mom. I Am Not Really Happy With The Nursing Home He Is In, I Don't Really Know What To Expect From It Any Advice On How To Find A Relly Good Home So We Are All Happy And More Importantly Dad Is As Happy As He Can Be

Love Sue
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Registered User
Sep 14, 2004
Dear Sue
Can only imagine at the moment what this must feel like for you to go through this, hope that your Dad is getting good care wherever he is. I guess I have this to come with my Mum, and though I cant give direct advice felt I should post and send some love and hugs while someone else will soon come and give some good advice.

It does sound like you and your mum got some help in though, which can only be a good thingn and so I also hope that the two of you have someone looking after you too, it's good to have others to talk to or shout at etc whenever the need arises. Never forget how much your Dad still loves you.

Keep well
peace and love


Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
West Sussex
Dear Sue, try getting in touch with your local Alz Soc group. They will be able to tell you about the homes in your area. It is not easy having to place a loved one in a home, try not to beat yourself up over it. Sometimes it really is the only thing to do. Thinking of you, love She. XX


Registered User
Jul 5, 2005
Dear Sue,
I know exactly where you are coming from, we placed dad in full time care only a few days ago.
We contacted dads GP, and health nurse, and they suggested three different homes, and left the ultimate decision to us.
Thank God we feel we made the correct choice, because when I went to visit dad yesterday pm he was sitting smiling and trying to make conversation of a kind with two other ladies and one gent who also have AD.
I have not seen Dad look or act as good as he did for the 1hr 45 mins we spent with him yesterday. He is eating and sleeping much better than he was at home, and when I spoke to the matron she said that set routine is most important, something that we were unable to provide due to work and family commitments, when we were caring for him he spent the day at one place and the night with us, so he was confused.
I was feeling a slight failure til I visited, and saw some of my old dad shining through, last night was the best nights sleep I have had for over two years.


Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
Hi Sue,

My Dad's been in a good Home for 9 months now and I can only echo the things that Lady has said regarding routine. We were lucky finding a Home where the staff are excellent and it is not far from where Mum lives so she can visit everyday. Despite this, it was difficult at first - the feeling of failure, Mum missing him, even seeing the other residents was upsetting because we couldn't believe Dad was really as 'bad' as them. After nine months, however, we've got to know some of their individual ways and feel much more relaxed about visiting. (It's great to hear that you seem to have made a good choice too, Lady) Keep looking Sue and I hope you manage to find somewhere that's suitable to you all soon.


Registered User
Jan 17, 2005
All My Dad Does Is Sleep All The Time Surely This Is Not Normal He Is On Medication But We Feel He Is Receiving To Much. Thats Why We Are Looking For A Better Nursing Home

Love Sue


Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
Hello Sue

have you been able to speak to your Dad's GP about the medication that has been prescribed?

I speak regularly to my wife's GP [assigned because of her living at her care home 25 miles from where we used to live] and we compare notes on how Jan is. Sometimes I ask for medication to be adjusted.

Also, I speak to the nursing staff at her home when I am concerned about anything, and sometimes we bring the doctor in on that too.

Don't be afraid to voice your concerns. Don't forget that YOU know what he was normally like. The people outside your family will not know what is normal for him, and not expect him to be any different from the way he is at present.


Registered User
Jan 17, 2005
It Seems The Doctor Is Going In On Thursday To check The Situation Of The Medication. Been To See Him Tonight And He Had His Pyjarmas On At 6 O Clock When I Asked The Nurse Why It Seems He Had Had A Accident, This Is The First Time This As Ever Happned. It's Not Looking Good Is It.




Registered User
Mar 23, 2005
Dear Sue,

One resource that you might want to consider using is the official inspection reports on the Commission for Social Care Inspection web site. They carry out the offical inspections (announced and unannounced) of care homes in England. You can search the inspection reports here:

Reading the inspection reports for your father's home should give you some idea of how that home has been rated by expert, external examiners. That may have no relation to you father's individual needs, but it could help to give a rounded picture.

Also, the CSCI web site can be used to search for other homes in the area and you can also read their inspection reports online - just to see what else is available.

Take care,


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