My dad thinks he is alone.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Ozzy71, Dec 14, 2015.

  1. Ozzy71

    Ozzy71 Registered User

    Nov 23, 2015
    26
    Hello

    My dad is in an assessment centre. He had a stroke and now has dementia. He has got out twice including climbing over a wall in a few day of being there. He is desperate to come home. We are having him home to my mums in the day but he is currently sleeping at the assessment home While we work out what to do.

    When I pick up dad on a morning or when we go to see him, he is heartbroken. He thinks we have left him. He doesn't remember that he has been home or that we might have been earlier in the day even. We stay with him til he is asleep and a family member is always there as soon as its visiting time. I've written him notes telling him not to worry and saying we will be there soon, I've left photos of us together but he doesn't seem to recognise who is in them. When we are together again we go through the story of what's happened and how we haven't left him but he has forgotten that too in about 20 mins.

    When we can't be with him for example when I'm at work I worry about him feeling worried and scared. I worry about him at night because he will wake up and not know where he is.
    It's very early days for us - the whole event was only a month ago.

    Does anyone have any ideas about what we can do to help him understand we haven't left him when we can't be there?

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,203
    Merseyside
    That's must be so difficult for you all.
    Do the staff reassure him too?
    Could the back & to be unsettling him?
     
  3. Ozzy71

    Ozzy71 Registered User

    Nov 23, 2015
    26
    Hi Caz

    I think the staff reassure him. He has only been there for a few days but they are lovely with him. I give them the notes to read to him as he cant find them. Prior to this he was in hospital for 3 weeks and was the same.

    He has also had pneumonia which is almost better and has an appointment this week to help sort out an irregular heart beat. I've been told both of these things can cause extra confusion so hopefully as they are dealt with it will help. We are meeting with the SW and staff this week to work out a plan. The hospital said they thought he needed an EMI unit as he was always trying to leave the ward and wanders through the night. the assessment home are saying they think it would be reasonable to take him home as long as we get the right support in place for mum.

    I found some similar threads on here last night and someone had suggested leaving items a confused person might associate with the family.

    Thanks
     
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,203
    Merseyside
    Good luck with the meeting this week.
     

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