My dad is losing his battle

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Catfly, May 4, 2014.

  1. Catfly

    Catfly Registered User

    Oct 27, 2012
    16
    Travelling back to Newcastle on a train from Carlisle. Knew that trying to go on a little break away with friends was a mistake given dad's condition over the last week.

    He's losing his battle and with all my heart I really want him to stop fighting. He needs to be at peace now. This Alzheimer's existence is no life. That makes me sound bad I know but my intelligent wonderful gentleman of a dad is no more and what we have is a someone experiencing a living hell.

    His care home is wonderful and I know they are doing everything they can for him but if there is a God up there please take my dad and let him be at peace.

    Need to stop typing this now can't see for tears.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,765
    Female
    Dundee
    Thinking of you Catfly and wishing you strength. x
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,893
    Female
    Scotland
    Cat fly, there are a lot of hearts out there breaking with you. We were at our singing group the other day having a lovely time laughing and singing and I was so pleased to see people at all stages so happy. When I stood up to leave I noticed a young woman in the back row in her twenties, sitting with her Dad, and the tears were pouring down her face. Had I stopped to speak I think she would have begun sobbing which would have been distressing for her Dad so I had to pass on.. I have been thinking about her off and on ever since.

    There are so many aspects to this distressing illness and all of us just have to do our best and move on. There is nothing else for it until someone finds a cure. Long, long way off!
     
  4. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,942
    North East England
    Did you write this for me? You could have.:) The words you used are the ones I say every day now..x.
     
  5. LEGH

    LEGH Registered User

    Jan 1, 2011
    7
    I feel for you so much. My dad has been staying with me over the weekend and we've had such a laugh over silly things but then I watch him asleep and can't bear the thought of him just getting worse. It's terrible when well-meaning people ask how he is...what can you say? I know exactly how you feel when you just want him to be at peace. Sending you lots of love x:eek:
     
  6. Catfly

    Catfly Registered User

    Oct 27, 2012
    16
    I'm here with dad now. Out of hours GP left just before I got here. Looks like dad now has DVT. My heart is breaking as I write this. Just need it to be over for him.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,289
    SW London
    I don't think it makes you sound bad at all. I often think my poor mother's pitiful existence has gone on too long. It is no life at all.

    I hope it will not be too long before your dad is able to drift away, and I do hope it will be very peaceful.
     
  8. bluebell1

    bluebell1 Registered User

    Jan 27, 2014
    16
    Northern Ireland
    Crying as I read this - you are not alone - I just back from visiting my Dad in a dementia ward since November - he is gone - pulled a wardrobe on top of himself today while I was talking to nurse feet away! All bruised and cut up - haven't stopped crying since. This illness is a living hell for all. Sending you big hugs x
     
  9. Catfly

    Catfly Registered User

    Oct 27, 2012
    16
    Dad passed away peacefully a couple of hours ago. His living hell is finally over. Will miss him so much but at last he has peace.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  10. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,437
    I am so sorry Catfly.
     
  11. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,765
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry Catfly. I'm glad your dad is at peace.
     
  12. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    I'm so sorry Catfly

    May your Dad rest in peace-and you find some peace yourself

    Take care

    Lyn T
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,746
    Kent
    I`m sorry Catfly.
     
  14. winda

    winda Registered User

    Oct 17, 2011
    2,037
    Nottinghamshire
    So very sorry Catfly. At least he is now out if his suffering.

    Please take care.
     
  15. Jess26

    Jess26 Registered User

    Jan 5, 2011
    970
    Kent
    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I totally understand your first post. I held my mum's hand and told her it was ok to let go. She passed away less than 24hrs later.
     
  16. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,942
    North East England
    This was so quick....and yet, I suspect you would have it no other way, given the circumstances.
    Losing your Dad at any age is hard, you will always have been his child, no matter how old you are.

    With sincere sympathy. Maureen.x.
     
  17. Mun

    Mun Registered User

    Mar 19, 2012
    294
    South Yorkshire
    Catfly,
    I'm really sorry to hear about your dear dad,RIP now
    My thoughts & condolences are with you & your family @ this sad time
    xx
     
  18. bluebell1

    bluebell1 Registered User

    Jan 27, 2014
    16
    Northern Ireland
    So very sorry, it happened so quickly, this will come to all of us on here so you are not alone. Just try to remember the happy times and how much your Dad loved you and you him, nothing can take that away from you - not even the hateful, destructive nature of Dementia. He is free from it now and no longer suffering. I know you will miss him dreadfully. Take care of yourself. x
     
  19. Thrippy

    Thrippy Registered User

    Mar 12, 2014
    34
    Very sorry for your loss. Your original post echoed much what myself And others on here are feeling or have felt. Lots of strength for the next few days and weeks to come xxx
     
  20. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,525
    North East England
    So sorry to hear this, catfly, please accept my condolences. Wishing you strength for the days to come x
     

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