• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

My dad is at peace now.

jaws

Registered User
May 8, 2007
27
Hi everyone,
Thanks for all your support and kindness. My dad passed away at midnight very peacefully. I like to think he is walking around up there or somewhere holding hands with my mum and sister who both passed away before him - all fit and healthy without the dreadful diseases that took them from us. We have talked as a family and would like to ask friends for donations to the Alzheimer's Society instead of flowers. This organisation has helped me to do the best for him. Once again - many thanks and please keep up the good work.
Jan
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
Dear Jaws

I am so sorry for your loss. We will still be here if you need to talk.

Love
 

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
565
Merseyside
Dear Jaws,

I'm so sorry to hear of your dad's passing.

I'm sure he is happy and peaceful with your mum again.

Please take care of yourself and remember we're still here if you want to talk.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Dear Jaws, I'm sorry to hear of your dad's passing. It's good though that he was peaceful at the end, and it will be a comfort to you that he is re-united with your mum and sister.

Take care of yourself now, and remember we're still here, whenever you need us.

Love,
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,406
Kent
Dear Jaws/Jan,
It was with sadness I read the news of your father. I can only offer my deepest sympathy and sincere condolences.
His suffering is over.
Please take care.
Love xx
 

AJay

Registered User
Aug 21, 2007
123
Leics
So sorry to hear about your Dad. Yes I believe that he'll be there with your Mum and sister, fit, healthy and smiling down on you.

Many hugs.

AJay xxx
 

Mameeskye

Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
1,669
55
NZ
I hope that your Dad, Mum and sister are indeed all blessed with perfect health wherever they find themselves now.

Thinking of you at this time.

Love

Mameeskye
 

Taffy

Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
1,314
Dear Jan,

Deepest Sympathy for the loss of your dad.

I believe that your dad will be re-united with your mum and sister.

Freed, of all his suffering and at peace.

I hope that memories comfort you. Love Taffy.
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
68
Australia
Dear Jaws,
My sincere condolences on the death of your dear Dad.

I think it is wonderful that you plan to support the Alzheimers Society as a tribute to him. Flowers are beautiful but not lasting. A donation to the society does good in your Dad's name - which is a wonderful memorial.

May you find comfort in knowing your Dad is at peace now. Please take care of yourself in the difficult weeks ahead.
 

jaws

Registered User
May 8, 2007
27
Hi again,
My dad's funeral is tomorrow. We're dreading it and have had some very hectic days. I can't face going back to work yet - I turn into a gibbering wreck at the slightest thing! I still visit talking point every day and find the posts helpful in dealing with my grief and always have a weep at the content and the sadness in many peoples lives. My husband said 'why do you still go on that website?' - I try to explain that it still helps and probably will for considerable time! I spent a long time with the vicar (I'm not religious or a church goer) and he helped a lot when I was telling him I felt guilty for not always wanting to see dad when he was ill, felt frustrated by his behaviour and I often saw him out of duty as opposed to desire. He told me I had not felt this way about my faher but about the illness and I needed to try and see beyond the illness and remember the happy memories. Hopefully this will happen in time.
Hpoe to speak to you again soon.
Jan
XXX
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Dear Jan, so pleased that you feel you can share your thoughts with us (as well as your vicar).

What you are feeling is so very natural. We none of us are perfect.

Of course you are still in a state of shock/limbo. Give yourself time, and cut yourself some slack.

Thinking of you for tomorrow. A day of healing. Take care now,
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Dear Jan

Connie's right, what you are feeling is completely natural. We all feel guilty, that we should be able to do more. And I doubt if anyone survives the loss of a loved one without feeling they should have done more.

At present you are filled with emotion, and that too is normal. When you can think straight again, you'll know that you loved your dad, and did everything you possible could for him. And he knew that too.

I'm so glad you've got a sympathetic vicar to talk to, as well as TP. Please come back to us as often as you like, we're always here for you.

Tomorrow is going to be so hard for you, and afterwards you are going to feel completely drained. Give yourself time. Don't even think about going back to work until you feel you can cope again. Allow yourself space to grieve, and then try to think positively about the future. It's what your dad would have wanted.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow.

Love and hugs,