1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

My dad is at peace now.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by jaws, Mar 12, 2008.

  1. jaws

    jaws Registered User

    May 8, 2007
    27
    Hi everyone,
    Thanks for all your support and kindness. My dad passed away at midnight very peacefully. I like to think he is walking around up there or somewhere holding hands with my mum and sister who both passed away before him - all fit and healthy without the dreadful diseases that took them from us. We have talked as a family and would like to ask friends for donations to the Alzheimer's Society instead of flowers. This organisation has helped me to do the best for him. Once again - many thanks and please keep up the good work.
    Jan
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,417
    Dear Jaws

    I am so sorry for your loss. We will still be here if you need to talk.

    Love
     
  3. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    565
    Merseyside
    Dear Jaws,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your dad's passing.

    I'm sure he is happy and peaceful with your mum again.

    Please take care of yourself and remember we're still here if you want to talk.
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Jaws, I'm sorry to hear of your dad's passing. It's good though that he was peaceful at the end, and it will be a comfort to you that he is re-united with your mum and sister.

    Take care of yourself now, and remember we're still here, whenever you need us.

    Love,
     
  5. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Another Angel in Heaven

    Dear Jan,
    Sending you and your family sincere condolences on the passing of your Dad.

    Christine
     
  6. nickyd

    nickyd Registered User

    Oct 20, 2007
    146
    warwickshire
    Dear Jaws,

    My Deepest Sympathy's are sent to you and your Family.
    Sending you lots of Love,
     
  7. taylorcat

    taylorcat Registered User

    Jun 18, 2006
    171
    W.Scotland
    sorry to hear your news
     
  8. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,981
    Toronto, Canada
    Dear Jaws,
    My sincere condolences to you and your family. My dad passed away Dec 27 and it is a difficult thing.
     
  9. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    My sincere condolences, too, to you and your family, Jaws.

    Love Gigi x
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,669
    Kent
    Dear Jaws/Jan,
    It was with sadness I read the news of your father. I can only offer my deepest sympathy and sincere condolences.
    His suffering is over.
    Please take care.
    Love xx
     
  11. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    So sorry for the loss of your father Jan. Sending love and sympathy to you and your family.

    Linda x
     
  12. AJay

    AJay Registered User

    Aug 21, 2007
    123
    Leics
    So sorry to hear about your Dad. Yes I believe that he'll be there with your Mum and sister, fit, healthy and smiling down on you.

    Many hugs.

    AJay xxx
     
  13. jack29

    jack29 Registered User

    Mar 8, 2008
    71
    Very sorry to hear of your sad news. My deepest sympathy.
     
  14. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    I hope that your Dad, Mum and sister are indeed all blessed with perfect health wherever they find themselves now.

    Thinking of you at this time.

    Love

    Mameeskye
     
  15. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Jan,

    Deepest Sympathy for the loss of your dad.

    I believe that your dad will be re-united with your mum and sister.

    Freed, of all his suffering and at peace.

    I hope that memories comfort you. Love Taffy.
     
  16. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Jaws,
    My sincere condolences on the death of your dear Dad.

    I think it is wonderful that you plan to support the Alzheimers Society as a tribute to him. Flowers are beautiful but not lasting. A donation to the society does good in your Dad's name - which is a wonderful memorial.

    May you find comfort in knowing your Dad is at peace now. Please take care of yourself in the difficult weeks ahead.
     
  17. foxy

    foxy Registered User

    Mar 4, 2008
    4
    london
    Sorry for your loss.

    Foxy
     
  18. jaws

    jaws Registered User

    May 8, 2007
    27
    Hi again,
    My dad's funeral is tomorrow. We're dreading it and have had some very hectic days. I can't face going back to work yet - I turn into a gibbering wreck at the slightest thing! I still visit talking point every day and find the posts helpful in dealing with my grief and always have a weep at the content and the sadness in many peoples lives. My husband said 'why do you still go on that website?' - I try to explain that it still helps and probably will for considerable time! I spent a long time with the vicar (I'm not religious or a church goer) and he helped a lot when I was telling him I felt guilty for not always wanting to see dad when he was ill, felt frustrated by his behaviour and I often saw him out of duty as opposed to desire. He told me I had not felt this way about my faher but about the illness and I needed to try and see beyond the illness and remember the happy memories. Hopefully this will happen in time.
    Hpoe to speak to you again soon.
    Jan
    XXX
     
  19. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Dear Jan, so pleased that you feel you can share your thoughts with us (as well as your vicar).

    What you are feeling is so very natural. We none of us are perfect.

    Of course you are still in a state of shock/limbo. Give yourself time, and cut yourself some slack.

    Thinking of you for tomorrow. A day of healing. Take care now,
     
  20. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Jan

    Connie's right, what you are feeling is completely natural. We all feel guilty, that we should be able to do more. And I doubt if anyone survives the loss of a loved one without feeling they should have done more.

    At present you are filled with emotion, and that too is normal. When you can think straight again, you'll know that you loved your dad, and did everything you possible could for him. And he knew that too.

    I'm so glad you've got a sympathetic vicar to talk to, as well as TP. Please come back to us as often as you like, we're always here for you.

    Tomorrow is going to be so hard for you, and afterwards you are going to feel completely drained. Give yourself time. Don't even think about going back to work until you feel you can cope again. Allow yourself space to grieve, and then try to think positively about the future. It's what your dad would have wanted.

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow.

    Love and hugs,
     

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