My dad is a younger suffer for Alzheimers and i would like contact any younger carer

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by Rebecca87, May 21, 2013.

  1. Rebecca87

    Rebecca87 Registered User

    May 21, 2013
    2
    Trowbridge
    Hi my name is Rebecca and Im 25 years old, I also have a brother called Jack who is 18 years of age, We live in Trowbridge, Wiltshire, my parents divorceed in 2006, but my mum is still and always will be there for dad.

    I have joined this site today as my father is in late stages of Alzheimer's and he is 54, he was diagnosed in August 2008, in 2009 he was living in a bungalow with 24 hour care, locally, my brother and I with my two children visited him regularly.

    Unfortunately at the end of March my father had a fit, and was taken into hospital in Salisbury and that is where he is now, he does not recognise myself or my brother anymore, he has gone, and its heart breaking, he was a police office for the Avon and Somerset police, and he should have retired last year, and now should be enjoying his retirement, but hes not, hes a stranger.

    I'm finding it very hard to understanding why, our dad. I would like to talk to others who are experiencing the same.

    Thankyou Rebecca
     
  2. lilysmybabypup

    lilysmybabypup Registered User

    May 21, 2012
    1,263
    Sydney, Australia
    Hi Rebecca,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your poor dad. I'm not a younger carer, my dad is 86 and has had Alzheimer's for a few years now. I really can't say I'm in the same situation as you but I wanted to say hi and let you know you're not alone.

    We all ask why someone we love, who was clever or active or just a wonderful parent/grandparent or whatever the case may be, had to suffer this dreadful disease. Nobody can answer that question I'm afraid, it's just plain unfair. It's painful to watch those we love and who are so dear to us slowly dissolve before our eyes.

    My dad has been a loving and doting husband, father and grandfather. Although I'm 55 with grown children, my sister is only 41 and has a 22 month old son whose grandfather doesn't know he exists. My children had the joy of a grandfather who was so loving and spent time with them. Sadly, since my sister was born quite late, and had her own child very late, he has missed out on the relationship my children enjoyed. It is cruel and unfair, but we simply will never have that answer, why him?

    All we can do is love them while they're here and live lives that honour them and the gift of life they gave us. I hope the sadness you're feeling now will soon lessen and you will find some others here who have shared your experience.

    Take care,
    Stephanie
     
  3. heyho

    heyho Registered User

    May 30, 2013
    1
    I'm in the same situation

    Hey, I came across your thread and thought I'd reply.

    I'm 25 years old, my dad is only 55. He retired about 6 years ago - a little too early I suppose. I guess since retirement his brain hasn't been as active so to speak.

    My mum is always there to make sure he is ok, but the pressure does get to her like anyone else. The hospital did a brain scan a couple of years back, to find he had a tiny hole.

    Some days are better than other's. He hasn't gotten to the stage your dad unfortunately has.

    I hope your dad is ok.
     
  4. Mw122

    Mw122 Registered User

    May 15, 2013
    47
    Hello Rebecca my mom was 49 when diagnosed with eod I was 29 at the time. It is a terrible disease that most people think happen to the elderly but as you can see from this site it is not always the case. I lost my mom 12 weeks ago and still can't believe she's gone and what has happened in the last 10 years. Nothing I can say will make it any easier for you but I do know how you feel. If you would like to chat any time please drop me a line. Keep strong

    Marie xx
     
  5. Big Geordie

    Big Geordie Registered User

    Feb 6, 2012
    73
    North Tyneside
    Hi Rebecca. There was a thread started some time ago entitled "is their anybody on here who is around 20?" The girl who started it was 18 at the time and her mum was 49. There are a significant number of replies and you may take some consolation from realising you are not alone and hopefully some practical advice. It can be viewed on page 5 of this bit of the forum. I'am sure there must be some way to create a link for you to the thread, but i'am not that good with IT. I hope this proves of some use to you and i wish you well. Big Geordie.
     
  6. l.barbara

    l.barbara Registered User

    Sep 19, 2013
    4
    Hi Rebecca,
    I am so very sorry to hear of your situation with your dad. I thought I would reply to your post because your situation seems very similar to mine. I am 22 and my dad is also 54 years old, my parents are also divorced. My brother and sister are both younger (18 and 17). I can related to you so much when you say it is hard for you to understand why, I feel the exact same way it doesn’t seem fair. I would love to talk to you about your experience and how you manage things. Wishing you all the best with your dad and remember you are not alone stay strong!
    Barbara
     
  7. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    18,827
    Male
    North Manchester
  8. Noorza

    Noorza Registered User

    Jun 8, 2012
    6,570
    Sadly there are no answers, I lost my Dad while still a young teenager, it's something that takes a long time to come to terms with and we each find our own way. Sorry I have no easy answers.
     
  9. queenquackers

    queenquackers Registered User

    Oct 2, 2013
    19
    Hi Rebecca,
    I know this thread was started some months ago, but I had to get in touch because my parents live in the same town as you! I moved out earlier this year, having got married and moved to Surrey (for my husband's work) but I still visit whenever I have the time and the money for rail fares, as I don't drive. My mum was diagnosed with dementia a few months ago at the age of 51 (I'm 23), but her memory had been noticeably deteriorating for a couple of years before that - first she refused to see a doctor, insisting nothing was wrong, and then when my dad did manage to persuade her, she was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid, so we hoped the memory loss would get better in time. Now we're just in shock - as you say, it's very hard to come to terms with why something like this would happen. My dad looks like he's aged 10 years in the space of 1 - it's hard to help someone who is still just aware enough of their condition to get upset if reminded they cannot cope alone. I give as much help as I can whenever I visit, but Dad's the only person Mum will really listen to.
    I've done my research and found that I'm more likely to be diagnosed with dementia in middle age than Mum was (I haven't been sleeping well for months, and I feel very isolated in the village where I live - house prices in Surrey are so ridiculous we can't afford to move into town). Although I know it's a higher chance, not a certainty, I still feel like I've got a death sentence hanging over me, especially as I know my husband isn't anywhere near as patient as my dad is. Maybe I should see a doctor to work out my chances more accurately, but (another downside of living in a village) my local GP is often fully booked for appointments anything up to two weeks in advance. Since I currently have a temporary job where the hours change from week to week, I don't want to risk having to take time off, and possibly harming my chances of getting a permanent role once my contract expires.
    Sorry this wasn't much help - it was just nice to talk to someone in (almost) the same situation.
    QQ
     
  10. EleanorRoss

    EleanorRoss Registered User

    Dec 14, 2014
    16
    #11 EleanorRoss, Dec 14, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2014
    Hello, I know I am a little late to post on this blog but I'm 18 years old and my dad is also a younger sufferer of Alzheimer's. I'd love to talk to someone who understands what it is like?
     
  11. KeddyL

    KeddyL Registered User

    Jun 8, 2014
    17
    Hello everybody. This was a thread i posted a few years ago. I am so sorry to hear your story. I am 22 now and my mum has recently turned 53. I check and message people from my thread every week. If you would like to have a chat please message me i would love to hear from you. Since being on here i realise we are not alone. Merry christmas everyone. Thinking of you all. Laura xxxx
     
  12. 123is321

    123is321 Registered User

    Jan 5, 2015
    7
    Liverpool
    Hi Eleanor, I'm 19 and my dad was also diagnosed with Alzheimer's at 56 last year. I know how difficult it is especially being so young, not many people understand the situation we're in as the majority of friends never experience Alzheimer's this closely at this age. If you'd like to chat more let me know, its sometimes great to vent!
     
  13. 16Kate

    16Kate Registered User

    Dec 3, 2013
    20
    North wales
    Hey, I'm 17 and my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at 50, I was 14 then. Soon after win I was 16, my grandmother was also diagnosed. Would like to talk/listen to people around my age?
     
  14. stacee

    stacee Registered User

    Jul 27, 2011
    4
    immingham
    Hello my mum was diagnosed when she was 40 I'm now 22 and mum 44. If anyone wants a chat pm I'm here :eek: xx
     

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