Hi everyone. My dad is 85 and was diagonised with vascular dementia about 3 years ago. Mom cared for him at home until 18 months ago when she developed Parkinsons Disease and couldn't cope any longer. I found a lovely residential home for him, very close to where I live, but was wracked with guilt when it came time to take him in. About 4 months later, mom joined him and they have been very happy together, except for the isolated aggressive bouts that dad has.
This week I have been told that the home has 'served notice' on dad to the social services department and they can no longer cope with these outbursts. The home is registered for dementia residents, but obviously not for people who can be aggressive. He has hurt a member of staff and now he has to go.
My main problem at this time is whether or not to uproot mom as well and take her too. She is quite happy at this care home and I think she would adapt to a life without my dad, but I don't think it would be as easy for him. He is still very aware and knows everyone around him. He lives totally to look after mom, although he does realise that he needs help with that now. Apart from the times when he is angry and agitated, he is still very loving and he gets on well with all the care staff.
I would feel terrible to have to part him from mom, but, on the other hand, I don't want to put mom in a home that isn't suitable for her. I just don't know what to do.
This week I have been told that the home has 'served notice' on dad to the social services department and they can no longer cope with these outbursts. The home is registered for dementia residents, but obviously not for people who can be aggressive. He has hurt a member of staff and now he has to go.
My main problem at this time is whether or not to uproot mom as well and take her too. She is quite happy at this care home and I think she would adapt to a life without my dad, but I don't think it would be as easy for him. He is still very aware and knows everyone around him. He lives totally to look after mom, although he does realise that he needs help with that now. Apart from the times when he is angry and agitated, he is still very loving and he gets on well with all the care staff.
I would feel terrible to have to part him from mom, but, on the other hand, I don't want to put mom in a home that isn't suitable for her. I just don't know what to do.