My dad has been diagnosed with vascular dementia

[xxmisscathyxx]

Hi.im a bit up n down scared and overwhelmed.my dad has jus been diagnosed with vascular dementia. He is 68 years old.At the moment he isnt to bad.its just come as a shock.some time late last year we noticed things that werent right with my dad.so i took him to the gp! So he had a memory test and mri scan in march this year! It was only last week we got the results.my mum was told he had a mini stroke....however, i went to the doctors yesterday with him.and the doctor also told us it was vascular dementia..i dont live at home with my parents and my mum isnt well herself! I just dont know where to start!

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to TP

I think you may find these links helpful

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/sho...ionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/download/downloads/id/2427/factsheet_what_is_vascular_dementia.pdf

 

[Rachael81]

Hi.im a bit up n down scared and overwhelmed.my dad has jus been diagnosed with vascular dementia. He is 68 years old.At the moment he isnt to bad.its just come as a shock.some time late last year we noticed things that werent right with my dad.so i took him to the gp! So he had a memory test and mri scan in march this year! It was only last week we got the results.my mum was told he had a mini stroke....however, i went to the doctors yesterday with him.and the doctor also told us it was vascular dementia..i dont live at home with my parents and my mum isnt well herself! I just dont know where to start!

Hi Miss Cathy,

It was more of a relief when I heard that my mum had vascular dementia about 16 months ago as we'd known she hadn't been right since a mini stroke or TIA a year earlier.

It's incredibly tough and hard to advise what to do or where to start, each patient is different and each family dynamic will mean it needs dealing and coping with differently. You've found a good place here though, I post my thoughts and questions nearly here as much as I discuss them with my OH. Often I just read other posts trying to store tips and advise for the future, reading about other people's experiences with incontinence helped prepare me for my mums most recent downturn.

Make sure you look after yourself - my GP has prescribed some tablets for anxiety (the sort teens might use for exam stress) and when I feel overwhelmed and scared I'll take one to take the edge off. I try to not take too many as they give me weird, vivid dreams

Your dad,and mum, are lucky to have such a caring, thoughtful daughter.

Rachael.

 

[Soobee]

Hello,

I remember when my mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia. For a while I didn't know what to do but knew I'd have to do something as my dad was ill and it turned out he had lymphoma.

He asked me to go on the carer's course that was offered on his behalf and it was invaluable! At that time it was a 6 week course for carers of people just diagnosed with dementia. I hadn't lived at home for years so I felt like a bit of a fraud saying I was a carer (but you are a carer because you're trying to do things to make your parents' life easier).Maybe they have something similar in your area (they are usually 4 weeks long now)? and as your mum is unwell you could do it and give her the information?

 

[daughterofpat]

Firstly, be kind to yourself - always. Each journey is different, just as each person is different. I am nearly 2 years down this road with my mum. It is stressful sometimes, funny sometimes, heartbreaking; tiring. Good days give you hope, bad days are full of despair, but for me, struggling on for too long without help was the worse thing I could do. So you are already ahead of the game by reaching out and coming on here! I am further down the road, but what has helped me is knowing that my mum has got a form of brain damage; she is not choosing to say or do the things she does. We reached a tipping point, and now I just go with the flow. I am accepting and no longer exhausting myself with fighting and trying to get my mum back. And I know there is only so much I can do. And because I am accepting, and I agree with her and do not try to turn her back into who she was, we still laugh and giggle and enjoy our time together, and I do not feel as guilty when don't go and see her for a few days. For now, that is enough.