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My dad going down hill

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Vickymay03, Sep 6, 2018.

  1. Vickymay03

    Vickymay03 New member

    Sep 6, 2018
    My dad had to be detained under the mental health act and was admitted last November into a hospital he was there for 6 months it was awful, finally got him into a lovely nursing home, he has dementia but the consultant still has not said what kind of dementia he has but I feel as if we are getting nowhere with the GP or consultant, my dad hardly speaks now, hardly eats, falling over a lot lately, sleeps all day doesn't know who we are, can't do anything himself, doesn't have control over his bowels,just looks at you as if he is not there, we are so frustrated no one seems to give us any answers, my dad is only just turned 73 we don't know what to do
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Hello @Vickymay03 and welcome to talking Point.

    It sounds to me as though your dad is in the late stage of dementia and it can be hard to see it. I am glad that he is in a lovely nursing home where he is being looked after well. To be honest, it can be difficult to tell exactly which type of dementia someone has got and in many cases it really doesnt matter as the symptoms are pretty much the same - especially in the later stages.

    Do have a look around the forums and if you have any questions, do ask - someone will have gone through a similar problem.
  3. Amethyst59

    Amethyst59 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2017
    Hello, @Vickymay03, welcome to Talking Point. I am sorry to hear about your poor dad, what a horrible situation. I’m not sure that it would make a great deal of difference to his treatment for his dementia to be given a label, but I can understand your frustration at not being given any answers to specific questions. I think even when we have a definite and specific diagnosis there still seem to be myriad ways the dementia affects our loved ones, or the way it progresses.
  4. Distressed55

    Distressed55 Registered User

    May 13, 2018
    Helllo @Vickymay03

    I'm very sorry that you are in this situation. It's horrible for everyone. You will find lots of support and advice here on TP.

    The answers that you need aren't readily available, I'm afraid, even to the doctors. The term dementia covers a wide range of conditions, and some of them are only available for diagnosis after scans which can be difficult for the patient. Now that your dad is in a nursing home, there will be a gp attached to the home, so you can insist on speaking to him/her about your dad's condition, and what they think it is. But whilst they may know that he has dementia, it might not be easy to identify which type. Often dementia symptoms are very similar over Alzheimer's, vascular dementia, dementia with Lewy Bodies, or it may be that he has mixed dementia. Diagnosing can be incredibly difficult.

    Also talk to the home about their care plan, and how they are going to manage his condition. You will find the.m to be helpful, and they will also provide you with support and some of the answers you need.
  5. Vickymay03

    Vickymay03 New member

    Sep 6, 2018
    Thankyou very much for your reply it's been so hard, we felt so guilty dad going in the hospital then the nursing home but it was a desperate situation for my mam, I wouldn't wish this on anyone thankyou for your time feels nice to get things off my chest
  6. Vickymay03

    Vickymay03 New member

    Sep 6, 2018
    Thankyou for your reply I'm going to speak with my dad's home tomorrow and arrange a sit down and try get some answers if I can, thankyou
  7. Vickymay03

    Vickymay03 New member

    Sep 6, 2018
    Thankyou going to speak with my dad's home tomorrow and see if I can get some answers,thankyou
  8. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    Lincoln, UK
    Hi @Vickymay03
    I'm so sorry for the awful experience you have had and your poor mum must be devastated. Please try not to feel guilty because there is nothing to feel guilty about. You had no choice and I'm so pleased your dad is in a lovely nursing home. As others have said, the Home will draw up a care plan for your dad and go through this with you. This is so tough for you all I know. Thank goodness you are there for your mum. Dont be afraid to ask to speak to the Home to discuss that plan and any concerns you have. Thinking of you all and sending love Jan xx

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