My brother is weeing in the kitchen sink.. is it dementia or not? In the day he goes upstairs no problem?

lfox

Registered User
Oct 2, 2009
15
0
Manchester
My sister stayed the other week at mine to care for our 46 yr brother with dementia. Whilst I had a 2 day break. She said she thinks he's urinating in the kitchen sink.. (I have no sense of smell) but I had notice the window ledge was wet.. I mistakenly thought it was the plant I had on there..
Since I came home I have bleached the area every morning and some days the wetness on the window ledge appeared again..
I've been saying to my brother (who sleeps downstairs... ) when we go bed dont worry about going bathroom as we won't wake up..
Today I put up a cheap amazon camera..and within 30 minutes of me going to bed and saying 'don't worry about going to the bathroom whilst we're asleep', their is a notification.. he first is in the fridge drinking the milk from the carton (which i can live with) but then he is literally weeing in the sink.. but even worse.. he's wiped his bits on the pot towel.. ?? im mortified, feel sick . But what do i do.. he has dementia.. is it that or not..we've had to lock the doors as he was wandering outside and once went missing for the whole day.. my husband said he thinks he previously urinated at the back door..

Is this dementia or is he just being disgusting.. what do I do? I dont want to be angry as there's no point tbh as he will be oblivious that it was him.. but its our home? ?
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,634
0
Hello @lfox sorry to hear about your brother's diagnosis at such a young age, plus the toileting problems you are having at the moment. As your brother is able to find the toilet during the day it sounds as though the darkness might be the problem - do you keep any lights on so that he can get his bearings and see where the stairs are? If not, using night lights to 'light the way' might help - you can get some which work with a sensor so don't need to be kept on all night. Alternatively, if you think he would use it, perhaps consider putting a commode in his room so that he doesn't need to leave his room if he needs to go to the toilet at night. Cutting down on fluids so that he doesn't have lots to drink immediately before going to bed might help too, although the recent hot weather might not be helping either. Sorry to not be of much help but hopefully others will be along with more suggestions.
 

lfox

Registered User
Oct 2, 2009
15
0
Manchester
Thanks I will try and leave the landing light on as that may help him, I didn't think of that.. I have sensor lights on the stairs as I thought he may not want to put the light on but I wanted to make sure he was ok on the stairs. Just wish I had a downstairs room for him so we could have a shower for him.. we're saving for a cabin in the garden as a room and shower /we for him ..to replace the old garage but it will take a while and I thought that'd be needed when he was unable to get up the stairs.. but the cabin will be another issue as its outside and we would need to be careful and have motion alarms then so he doesnt go wandering..but thats a future worry.. for now I just want no one weeing in my sink.. ?
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
5,364
0
Dorset
My Dad used the hand basin in his room when he went into residential care. The Manageress said it wasn’t unusual because it could be mistaken for a urinal! Not the same as your brother but just to show that it happens.
It could be that your comment about not going to the bathroom ”while we’re asleep” could be confusing him and pushing him to use the sink as he believes he mustn’t go upstairs at night?
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,634
0
Hope leaving the landing light on helps as I'm with you about not wanting wee in the sink! With regards a downstairs bathroom, there are disability facilities grants available so it might be worth contacting your local authority to see if they can help:
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
5,364
0
Dorset
Hope leaving the landing light on help as I'm with you about not wanting wee in the sink! With regards a downstairs bathroom, there are disability facilities grants available so it might be worth contacting your local authority to see if they can help:
When my husband had lung cancer and was too weak to get into and out of the bath the Council paid for the bathroom to be fitted with a shower and a smaller bath. That was twenty years ago so things might not work so well now!
 

Carmenjane

Registered User
Mar 17, 2022
457
0
I got a proper urinal bottle with a handle and a lid for my OH and that was successful for a while. They are only £5.99 from Amazon, worth trying.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
24,920
0
South coast
This is definitely dementia. Quite often people with dementia get confused about where they should go and urinate in inappropriate places. If its only happening at night I suspect that he is sundowning and more confused then than during the day.

You can certainly try a commode in his bedroom. You might want to lock the kitchen overnight too.
 

Rainbowz

New member
Oct 28, 2021
6
0
I’ve just seen this topic now as my husband has recently been doing the same as your brother and not just in the kitchen sink! I found him at 2.30 am with the fridge door open thinking that was the toilet, likewise the front of radiators, wardrobe doors, hearth downstairs etc. Always in the night. In desperation I have tried the following - I have a table lamp on the landing on a timer, 2 battery operated sensor lights ( like you might have in a wardrobe) and put one right behind the toilet cistern and the other to light the way out of the bedroom. I also bought some battery operated fairy light strings from Primark and garden centres and put the coloured ones around the bathroom door frame to highlight the bathroom and white ones on the floor to guide him to the toilet. It’s a bit like Christmas all the time! The other thing I now have is a bed sensor to wake me up when he gets up so I can try and get him to the right place. He often is ‘out of it’ for want of a better expression, tries to push me away and I can’t get him to stop. I’m thinking of buying some small buckets to grab which is better than nothing but not ideal. Good luck.
 

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