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My Aunt

Ambrose B

Registered User
Jan 9, 2016
East Sussex
I am a carer of My Aunt and have been for several years. Her Alzheimers/ Dementia crept up slowly and it is only now looking back that I can see that she really did have it for a lot longer than I realized.I don't want to go into all the details but nearly a year ago it got quite extreme, with her calling me at 3 or 4 in the morning, she lost understanding of the sequence and times of the day. She had often fallen over and on some occasions had been physically sick. Again, I called the ambulance as I did not want to move her and wanted them to take her to hospital. Finally they did and they discovered she also had a very serious Urinary Tract Infection. She was in A&E for two days and they assessed her as being perfectly well to go home!!! Home was where she had blown up the Central Heating, through obsessive behaviour, Blown Up the Micro wave, Pulled down the Loft door, that if it had fallen on her, would have most probably ended her life, Kept the washing Machine going all day with 1 item, Fallen up the stairs and various other incidents. I explained to various workers in the hospital that going home at this stage was not an option and that she was officially diagnosed with Alzheimers. It just seemed like they did not listen and the report they placed in her bag was, inaccurate and very worrying for me in its context as it presented her as being able to live independently. The next day, I got a call from a Social Worker at the Hospital saying that they were discharging her. I explained again that this was not possible and that my home was not appropriate for her. They, in the end gave me one hour to find a place for her, it was a nightmare and I was in a state of total panic. Thankfully, I did finally find somewhere for a respite period of 2 weeks. I suppose the point I really wanted to make to you is this. Both you and your Mother's health, safety and well- being are very important and I guess you always have to ask"What is in the best Interest of my mother?" I don't think that if you feel at this stage you can go through caring again, that you should, as this could cause much more deep and serious issues for you and your mother.I think it is important to acknowledge what is realistic and what is placing you and your mother at risk. Carers are sometimes and I think often over looked, as they carry a lot of the burden that goes with caring and this has an impact on many Physical, Emotional and Psychological areas. Do what you possibly can and feel able to do. That is all we can do. I hope this helps in some way. I too am new to this and so it was for me a bit of an off Load too.
Last edited by a moderator:


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
Hi Ambrose B
a warm welcome to TP
as you've already found out, here is a great place to offload - you can write whatever you need to and your post will be read with sympathy and kindness
it's always helpful to learn of others' experience - so thanks for sharing yours :)