My father is 92yrs and Mum had to go into nursing care earlier in the year as her Parkinson’s has now reached its latter stages. They have been married 68 years, and it’s obviously a huge wrench for both.
I have noticed recently the house doors are permanently locked, and Dads behaviour has changed. He seems distracted and just asks constantly when we will be leaving. Between us all, the family pop in daily, make sure he has supplies and help keep the house / garden clean and tidy etc..He has been diagnosed with mild vascular dementia, but, seems to be coping ok day to day on the surface.
Last week I called and as usual the back door was locked, I rang the bell but on getting no answer and fearing the worst, let myself in.
Dad appeared flustered on my appearing and cutting a long story short had been on an old laptop I didn’t even know he had, with no internet security, watching porn sites and in communication with a lady called ‘Amanda’ asking for money/subscription etc which he was paying and had supplied all his personal details, address etc. to her.
I managed to put security on, cleaned up the laptop, called the bank, got refunds on payments he had made not yet gone through (£1,000’s) . We are going to open an account with a couple £100 so he has some money & card to spend, as opposed £1,000’s. I do have a POA.
A day or so later, I find he is now watching porn on his iPad & Sky TV also, constantly, morning until night. His monthly sky payments were through the roof, getting consistently more since July. I’ve taken possession of his bank cards, changed pin / parental access on Sky, but he’s now hides his iPad !!
He is watching porn on it when I’m in the next room, even on one occasion when the grandchildren were visiting, (they didn’t see anything and have now stopped visiting) When I ask for his iPad, he becomes aggressive and will not let it out of his possession
I’m just lost as to what to do next, how can I help, can medication help if I take him to the doctor.
He can look after himself at home otherwise, keep himself clean, prepare a meal for himself etc- it’s just this addiction to porn. He has lost interest in everything else, gardening, mainstream tv, family, friends, not bothering to go visit Mum, just wants us to leave when we visit, so he can continue watching porn constantly on his iPad.
I’m juggling this and trying to look after my 26yr old daughter currently going through Breast Cancer treatment, so can’t be with him 24/7.
Am at a total loss and any help or advice would be very much appreciated- thank you in advance xx
I have noticed recently the house doors are permanently locked, and Dads behaviour has changed. He seems distracted and just asks constantly when we will be leaving. Between us all, the family pop in daily, make sure he has supplies and help keep the house / garden clean and tidy etc..He has been diagnosed with mild vascular dementia, but, seems to be coping ok day to day on the surface.
Last week I called and as usual the back door was locked, I rang the bell but on getting no answer and fearing the worst, let myself in.
Dad appeared flustered on my appearing and cutting a long story short had been on an old laptop I didn’t even know he had, with no internet security, watching porn sites and in communication with a lady called ‘Amanda’ asking for money/subscription etc which he was paying and had supplied all his personal details, address etc. to her.
I managed to put security on, cleaned up the laptop, called the bank, got refunds on payments he had made not yet gone through (£1,000’s) . We are going to open an account with a couple £100 so he has some money & card to spend, as opposed £1,000’s. I do have a POA.
A day or so later, I find he is now watching porn on his iPad & Sky TV also, constantly, morning until night. His monthly sky payments were through the roof, getting consistently more since July. I’ve taken possession of his bank cards, changed pin / parental access on Sky, but he’s now hides his iPad !!
He is watching porn on it when I’m in the next room, even on one occasion when the grandchildren were visiting, (they didn’t see anything and have now stopped visiting) When I ask for his iPad, he becomes aggressive and will not let it out of his possession
I’m just lost as to what to do next, how can I help, can medication help if I take him to the doctor.
He can look after himself at home otherwise, keep himself clean, prepare a meal for himself etc- it’s just this addiction to porn. He has lost interest in everything else, gardening, mainstream tv, family, friends, not bothering to go visit Mum, just wants us to leave when we visit, so he can continue watching porn constantly on his iPad.
I’m juggling this and trying to look after my 26yr old daughter currently going through Breast Cancer treatment, so can’t be with him 24/7.
Am at a total loss and any help or advice would be very much appreciated- thank you in advance xx