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Music

Josh60

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
67
0
Sheffield
My wife is in a lovely care home with brilliant carer's. The home has professional entertainment once a week and I have noticed recently that when there is a singer on my Wife gets very upset, she can't really communicate with me and can't tell me what's wrong. There is music on most of the time in the home which she doesn't get at all upset. I wonder what the reason is for the reaction to live music. When she gets upset it upsets me which I have to try to hide, I just can't understand why this happens, has anyone any idea why this happens.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
74,626
0
Kent
My husband used to get very emotional when any sentimental music was sung even on a Cd and was fine when it was instrumental.

I wonder if it`s the same for your wife @Josh60. The power of the human voice.

Try not to hide if it`s at all possible. It could be beneficial to both of you if you could be upset together.
 

Josh60

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
67
0
Sheffield
Thak you for your reply. I hold her hand and try to sing along with her but she can't communicate with me. She only gets upset when it's a live singer, that's what I can't understand.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,757
0
Hello @Josh60

I wonder if the live music is a bit over stimulating, or perhaps just too loud for your wife. Are you able to see if she can be seated further away? It may be that simple. The only other thing I can think of is that your wife wants to spend the time with you, without the distraction of the performer.

In either case, it may be worth seeing if her being further away from, or even in a different area from, the live music improves things.
 

Josh60

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
67
0
Sheffield
Hello @Josh60

I wonder if the live music is a bit over stimulating, or perhaps just too loud for your wife. Are you able to see if she can be seated further away? It may be that simple. The only other thing I can think of is that your wife wants to spend the time with you, without the distraction of the performer.

In either case, it may be worth seeing if her being further away from, or even in a different area from, the live music improves things.
Thanks for your advice, I will try and do as you have advised, I have given it some thought and each time we were pretty close to the entertainment
 

HarryO52

New member
Sep 12, 2021
3
0
My wife is in a care home, music does stimulate her mind, a few weeks ago I took our pipe band to the home and we played for all the residents , I watched in amazement as I played , the residents began to tap their feet , the home had made a big thing of it they made tea and cakes for everyone , the power of live music is very powerful and we hope to repeat it again.
 

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Josh60

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
67
0
Sheffield
I am told by so many people that music is such a great thing for people with dementia. My wife has Alzheimers and is in a care home which has live music every week but for my Wife it doesn't mean a thing she mostly closes her eyes and goes to sleep. What makes it so strange is that before the Alzheimers set in and claimed her mind she loved any kind of music but not anymore.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
8,382
0
Bristol
I am told by so many people that music is such a great thing for people with dementia. My wife has Alzheimers and is in a care home which has live music every week but for my Wife it doesn't mean a thing she mostly closes her eyes and goes to sleep. What makes it so strange is that before the Alzheimers set in and claimed her mind she loved any kind of music but not anymore.
That is quite possibly the saddest thing I've read in a while, Josh.
 

LibbyM

New member
Mar 11, 2021
4
0
Some time ago, before my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I raised funds for Music Therapy for those with Dementia living in MHA. Music has always been at the heart of my life, and my husband and I would sing to his playing on the guitar, and I taught music in primary school. Now, however, even though I've created a playlist of all his favourite music from our collection of CD's, he is forever telling me to 'turn that row off', and that it is playing the same music over and over again (it isn't - there are over 100 pieces on his playlist). It's so sad - I miss hearing the music, and I had thought that music would be a solace to him.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
16,076
0
South coast
I am told by so many people that music is such a great thing for people with dementia. My wife has Alzheimers and is in a care home which has live music every week but for my Wife it doesn't mean a thing she mostly closes her eyes and goes to sleep. What makes it so strange is that before the Alzheimers set in and claimed her mind she loved any kind of music but not anymore.
OH doesnt like music either - he gets stimulus overload and cant cope with it. You can almost see his brain shutting down.
 

TJ1965

New member
Jan 8, 2018
4
0
Hi. My husband has Alzheimer's and we live at home together (early onset, diagnosed at 54, now 58). Music has been part of our lives and still is really. I love to try to play the piano and work on pieces after we've played dominoes and cards. My husband sits in the next room but listens to my attempts as gradually the piece comes together (Einaudi pieces) - he cries but says it's okay as he loves it - it just triggers his tears. It may be that the tears your wife cries are not tears of unhappiness? He decided to take himself off Memantine a couple of weeks ago (still on Rivastigmine) and although I was worried about that, he has lost an aggressive edge that I hadn't noticed developing. He has been picking up his guitar more lately and singing - which he had been doing less and less. Best wishes to you.