Mums throat update

[Kathleen]

Hello again

The CP visited the home and says the problems she is having are yet another symptom of her AD. He gave the home lots of tips to help her and I know they will do all they can to help her, they are lovely people.

He says she is now entering the final stages. He explained that all the AD patients vary in the symptoms they have and as Mum is calm most of the time and seems relaxed, he is confident she will eventually stop worrying about her throat. I wish I could.

For the first time yesterday when I visited, she greeted me as she would a complete stranger instead of the usual warm kiss and hug I always get from her.
Although she was having her usual type of one-sided chat with me, she was distant and when I left made no attempt to kiss or hug me back,for the first time in my life I felt rejected by her, silly I know but that 's how I felt.
She seems to have withdrawn into herself more and become detached.
I came home and wept buckets, not usual for me but I felt better afterwards.

I miss my Mum!

Kathleen

 

[Jude]

Dear Kathleen,

No it's not silly at all. Sometimes your mother will retreat to places that you can't follow and although we know intellectually that it isn't true, it really does feel like rejection.

Hopefully next time you visit, Mum will be having a good day and you will enjoy your hugs and kisses again.

Jude

 

[connie]

Kathleen, of course you miss your Mum. You have to look through the layers of dementia and find the essential 'Mum'. It gets harder, but in a way easier, as we learn just to accept. Mum will always be who she was, just somedays harder to locate. Hope tomorrow is happier, Connie.

 

[Sheila]

Dear Kathleen, thinking of you, love She. XX

 

[Kathleen]

Thanks Jude Connie and Sheila,
I know Mum is there somewhere as you say, and I know we will always be mother and daughter its just hard adjusting, but I will and I won't let one bad visit get me down, after all I still have her.
I think it is adjusting to the huge loss of Dad at the same time that makes everything more difficult, this time last year they were out and about and enjoying life to the full and it was suddenly all over with no warning at all,but I will get there, onward and upward as they say.
Kathleen
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