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Mum's the word

Rachelnewf

New member
Jan 20, 2022
3
0
Our Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in mid 2021 following behaviours becoming obvious in lockdown when we were spending more time together. It took many phone calls and appointments to get that all important appointment with the memory clinic - the place where people carry out the test to determine what is wrong. We were not forewarned that we would get the result there and then - that was a shock but in hindsight I would say it's the best way, as there is no hanging around waiting for a letter or phone call which would cause more worry and stress than there was already.
And so the journey began. We bought books, read articles online, spoke to support networks, spoke to the council and got a social care worker, who visited to fit the house with helpful items (for our Dad also) and to discuss future needs. We (siblings) shared observations with one another and set up an interim care plan, with each child taking on specific weekly tasks such as shopping, visiting, taking out, housework & admin assistance. It's a challenging time ahead but if we all continue to pull together to make life as easy as possible for both of our parents I believe we can continue successfully as one seamless unit. We each have our strengths and we each have our weaknesses. We each have our own lives (something regularly stated by our parents) but we each have the same goal - to make life as easy, fun and safe as possible for our Mum and Dad. To support Dad in caring for her. To support each other in any way we can as we watch this disease change our Mum. Most important of all currently is to make good memories while we can, to give them as much fun, love and interaction as possible while her cognitive functions are still relatively ok.
The future is unknown - our dedication to our parents is not.
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
2,241
0
Newcastle
Hi @Rachelnewf and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. That is a lovely positive post to start your involvement in our supportive community. Whatever lies ahead it is a great idea to make the most of today. I hope that the experience and knowledge of our members - and their willingness to share - will be of help to you whenever you need it.
 

Rachelnewf

New member
Jan 20, 2022
3
0
Hi @Rachelnewf and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. That is a lovely positive post to start your involvement in our supportive community. Whatever lies ahead it is a great idea to make the most of today. I hope that the experience and knowledge of our members - and their willingness to share - will be of help to you whenever you need it.
Hello, thank you. I've been reading a lot since signing up and have seen lots of information which is truly useful. This is definitely a good find! :)
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,224
0
@Rachelnewf It is really nice to read a post where all siblings are pulling together, this will really help you to cope with your mums care in the future. You are off to aa good start.
 

SERENA50

Registered User
Jan 17, 2018
105
0
Our Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in mid 2021 following behaviours becoming obvious in lockdown when we were spending more time together. It took many phone calls and appointments to get that all important appointment with the memory clinic - the place where people carry out the test to determine what is wrong. We were not forewarned that we would get the result there and then - that was a shock but in hindsight I would say it's the best way, as there is no hanging around waiting for a letter or phone call which would cause more worry and stress than there was already.
And so the journey began. We bought books, read articles online, spoke to support networks, spoke to the council and got a social care worker, who visited to fit the house with helpful items (for our Dad also) and to discuss future needs. We (siblings) shared observations with one another and set up an interim care plan, with each child taking on specific weekly tasks such as shopping, visiting, taking out, housework & admin assistance. It's a challenging time ahead but if we all continue to pull together to make life as easy as possible for both of our parents I believe we can continue successfully as one seamless unit. We each have our strengths and we each have our weaknesses. We each have our own lives (something regularly stated by our parents) but we each have the same goal - to make life as easy, fun and safe as possible for our Mum and Dad. To support Dad in caring for her. To support each other in any way we can as we watch this disease change our Mum. Most important of all currently is to make good memories while we can, to give them as much fun, love and interaction as possible while her cognitive functions are still relatively ok.
The future is unknown - our dedication to our parents is not.
Hello

A very great place to start - together 💕 I admire your positivity xx You will definitely find lots of information. I keep recommending the communication with people with memory loss link, someone will post it probably. I have found it really helpful. I think with siblings , there are three of us lol, it's good to realise that you have different strengths and for each person to play to those and try not to fall out with each other too much if possible lol. Best wishes.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
3,082
0
High Peak
I think it will help a lot that your siblings are all on board.

Make sure you get the legal stuff sorted out early - Power of Attorney, etc.

I truly hope it all goes as smoothly as you envisage and that you remain 'as one seemless unit' but don't be surprised if dementia throws a spanner in the works at times...
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,720
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @Rachelnewf , a welcome to Dementia Talking Point from me too. It's great to hear that you are all pulling together to support your mum. My husband and his siblings have done a great job at getting his mum the care she needs, though it nearly all went pear-shaped when there were very strong differences of opinions about some things. They managed to not fall out permanently by talking things through on a series of zoom meetings and a lot of use of Whatsapp. I think it's important to keep on checking in with each other and making sure you are all still happy with your roles. In my husband's family the problem's were first about getting outside care in and then a move to a care home.
Also if you haven't sorted it yet getting Lasting Power of Attorney sorted is, as @Jaded'n'faded said, really important, and will save no end of bother later.
 

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