Mum's recent diagnosis

[Willowlady]

Thank you for allowing me to join. My mum was recently diagnosed with late onset Alzheimers and short term memory loss. Both my sister and I are blaming ourselves for not thinking it was anything more than mum just being mum. We now retrospectively realise it has been going on for some time. We haven't seen our mum since she left home in an ambulance after a fall in October 2020. We were taking it in turns to care for her at home. It was becoming a real struggle for us both. She was placed in a care home by the hospital and has remained there since. Mum's deteriorating so rapidly mentally. It really is very hard to comprehend how fast she is changing. I'm hoping these forums will help me understand more about what's going on with mum.

 

[canary]

Hello @Willowlady and welcome to DTP.

Dont feel badly that you did not recognise dementia in your mum. I did the same with my mum, she was well into mid-stages before I realised what was going on. It is easy to see things in hind-sight.

Do have a mooch around the forums. Im sure you will find lots of posts that resonate.

 

[Peter W]

Thank you for allowing me to join. My mum was recently diagnosed with late onset Alzeimers and short term memory loss. Both my sister and I are blaming ourselves for not thinking it was anything more than mum just being mum. We now retrospectively realise it has been going on for some time. We haven't seen our mum since she left home in an ambulance after a fall on 24th October 2020. We were taking it in turns to care for her at home. It was becoming a real struggle for us both. She was placed in a care home by the hospital and has remained there since. Mum's deteriorating so rapidly mentally. It really is very hard to comprehend how fast she is changing. I'm hoping these forums will help me understand more about what's going on with mum.

Hello,I am also new to the forum but have already found it very useful. You are not alone in your situation, in fact your post mirrors our experience particularly the mum being mum part! Please don't blame yourselves, you are definitely not at fault. Do reach out for any help you can get and most importantly try to look after yourselves, although in our experience that's easier said than done! It really is a journey when dealing with Alzheimers and I wish you all the best.

 

[lemonbalm]

Hello @Willowlady

It can take ages to realise that dementia is the reason for those little things which don't seem quite right and even then it can take some time to get an actual diagnosis, so don't feel bad about that. My mum was only diagnosed after a stroke years after I first felt something was wrong. I would never have persuaded her to have tests so we just bobbled along as best we could with me looking after her at home. I think that can often be the best way to deal with things in the early stages anyway. Mum's stroke made the dementia much worse and she has now been in a care home for a few years.

You and your sister did well to look after your mum between you. She is where she needs to be now but this is difficult stuff, so keep posting for advice and support. There are lots of us out here to help you along.

 

[Sarasa]

Welcome @Willowlady. Covid has made a difficult situation so much worse as in 'normal' times you would have visited your mother in hospital and in the care home As it is you and your sister must feel very remote from it all. I hope you are able to see her via a 'pod' in her home or at least get updates as to how she is.
Looking back I can see things that weren't quite right with my mum, that I put down either to her personality or to her worsening eyesight. My mother has vascular dementia, so the memory loss that people associate with dementia didn't really apply to her till much later on Like you for a long time I fault her confusion etc was my fault for not explaining things clearly. Mum is now in a home.
You'll get loads of help and advice here, it's a very friendly place.

 

[Willowlady]

Thank you all for your replies. Very much appreciated.