Mums progressing illness

[Rosie]

Hello everyone, I have been trying to find info on the later stages of AD, I posted here recently, my mum has a chest infection which has not responded to antibiotics , she has lost the ability to swallow , so is not taking any thing orally, the sub-cut fluids are not absorbing , so they are stopping + starting them to ensure her areas are not becoming too sore, she has not eaten or drunk any thing for two weeks, + yet she is still surviving .
They rang us two weeks ago + said mum wouldnt make it through the night , but she has survived . I don't want to sound like I don't care about my mum because I love her dearly but how much longer can she suffer this ? The Doctor spoke to my father + I , and said he didn't really know how much longer my mum could survive , he did mention 2 weeks, but my mums chest problems are no better , + I've noticed that her hands + feet are swelling . The family + my poor mum has been through hell the last few weeks , from a phone call to say the family needs to come quick because she was so poorly to the Doctor saying she has stabilised + that he wasn't sure how long it could be. Please if any one has any experience of this I would be so grateful if you could share it with me + my family. I hope I don't sound cold but I just want my mum to be at peace + I feel at the moment she is still suffering. Thank's for listening . Rosie x

 

[Leah]

Hi Rosie
So sorry to hear of your problems. I'm afraid every case is different so there is no real answer for you. There was a thread a while ago about this very subject and the variety of answers was immense. It could be days, weeks or a month or so.
My own husband actually died within a couple of weeks, but remember every case is different.
One of the moderators may be on soon with more advice for you or you could ring the help line.
Thinking of you and your family

 

[MrsP]

Dear Rosie,

I'm sorry that you are still going through this. I work in a hospital where unfortunately this senario happens a lot. All that we can say for sure is that your Mum will know when the time is right. I know it sounds awful, but often people don't 'let go' until family have left- it seems that they don't want people around them. Please take care of yourself, and don't feel guilty at all about wanting her suffering to end. We're all here for you, love Kate P.

 

[Michelle-A]

Hi Rosie,
The situation you are in at the moment sounds very much like mine. My mum is also in the later stages of dementia - so we've been told. About five weeks ago she went into hospital because she hadn't been eating or drinking. Since she's been in hospital we've been told mum has multiple absesses in her liver. They can only drain so many and have to treat the rest with antibiotics. They have told us they're not sure if treatment will work. About two weeks ago mum took a turn for the worst and had a seizure, we were then told mum might not make it through the week and that she was probably going to die. Now we're told she is stabilized at the moment and to wait and see what happens. So I totally know what you're going through. It's been a real mixture of emotions. I love my mum too and don't want her to die, yet at the same time I can't bare to see her suffering like this and wonder how much more pain she has yet to go through. It really is unbearable.
I feel exactly the same as you so probably can't give you much advice. But let us know how your mum is.
Take care,
Love Michelle x

 

[Rosie]

mums illness.

Hello Michelle, Thank you for your reply, I'm sorry to hear of your situation, hope your managing to keep strong. My mother seems to have improved , she has managed to take some diet + fluids again so the staff seem to think she has fought the infection off by herself. I know my mum is only 66yrs + before the AD she was a fit lady, never smoked , very little alchohol, always out in the garden + walking so I think maybe this wasn't her time to leave this world. My father is beside himself , after being told my mum only had a matter of days to live now the staff have said it could be months or years still. My dad had prepared himself for the worst + is finding it hard now that this is not the end. I feel we have to take each day as it comes, I know the AD has taken my mum away from me but in herself she shows no signs of pain or discomfort so we have to be grateful for that, I know her quality of life is poor now but she still eats, sleeps most of the time but is not in pain , or does not show any out ward signs of pain. So we as a family will have to go on being there for her until one day the inevitable happens.
I'll be thinking of you + sending you good wishes, take care of your self . Rosie x

 

[Michelle-A]

That's great news! your mum must be a tough cookie! she's certainly not ready to give up yet!
It's difficult being up and down with your emotions all the time isn't it? not knowing how to feel or what to expect, I find that really hard.
Enjoy being with your mum as much as you possibly can!
Best wishes to you, your mum and your family.
Michelle x