1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. lindaw

    lindaw Registered User

    Sep 20, 2007
    Hello all, its a few months since I posted here, and then I was given such wonderful support. My post at the time was entitled 'Coming to the End', and everyone was so supportive and helpful.
    Reading Chrissies post about her Mum, could be mine. Mum also had Lewy Body Dementia, and after my stepfather died, I became the only one left in my Family.
    I cried, and laughed, and hugged with Mum, but she gradually began to slip away from me. She recognised who I was right up until 2 weeks before she died, on December 28th.
    I was upset, because I had that novorvirus<sp> at Christmas, and was unable to visit, but her Brother and Family visited. I got her a small Christmas Tree, which she used to watch all the time. She deteriorated suddenly, and the nursing home phoned me. I was concerned about passing the virus onto the elderly folk, but the Doctor gave me the all clear to go, and I was with Mum for her final 2 hours.
    She fought so hard. We were told in September that she was leaving us, but she fought for those next few months. She was not eating, and only just able to drink some of the food supplements.

    Just before she died, I experienced the phenomenum that I had experienced with my Brother. She opened her eyes really wide, and they looked clear and undiseased.(She was blind in one eye, and had cataracts in the other). She looked round the room, and suddenly seemed very peaceful. A few minutes later she slipped away.
    I dont know if this is something that others had experienced, but I am curious to know.
    We heard the next day that Mums brother, who she was so close to, and also had dementia, had passed away 90 minutes after Mum. It made me think that she was looking for him to help him.

    I want to thank you all for your support. This disease is so disterssing, and you feel so helpless, but you all gave me such strength when I needed it.
    My dear Mum is at peace at last,no more struggles
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Linda
    Thank you for your beautiful Post.
    I would like you to accept my deepest sympathy on the death of your mother, and hope the knowledge that her suffering is over will help give you strength in the months to come.
    Love xx
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Linda

    Your post is so moving, your account of your mum's death had me in tears.

    It was lovely that it was so peaceful, and that you were able to be with her at the end. Comforting too that her brother was making the journey at he same time.

    Your mum is at peace now, and you must be thankful for that, though grieving her loss. Take care of yourself now, and talk to us again whenever you want.

  4. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Thank you for that lovely post - think of yourself now.
    Best wishes Jan
  5. Cazzie

    Cazzie Registered User

    Jan 9, 2008
    Barnet, Herts
    Having lost my mum (not to Alzheimer's but a brain tumour) 2 years ago i understand your loss and i feel for your pain. Although mum didnt have Alzheimer's she did the same as your mum just before dying. I was with her and i knew it was the end: she opened her eyes and looked at me so i called my father and he came quickly to the hospital and arrived some 15 minutes later. When she knew he was there he did the same thing and opened his eyes and then soon after she passed away. She is with God now and at peace and i look forward to the day when i am reunited with her as you will be with your Mum.
  6. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Dear Linda, sorry to read of your sad news.
    You posted:
    I am glad that you feel that way. Please give yourself time to grieve and look after yourself.
  7. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Linda,
    I sent you sincere condolences at the loss of your Mother.
    May you find the strength to now look after yourself.
    Best wishes
  8. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    dear Linda,
    Sorry to hear of your mum's death, but the knowledge that she is free from her struggles will help you through the next months.
    Take care, and keep in touch.
    Love Helen
  9. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    Thank you for your lovely post. It made me think of a beautiful image of your Mum and her brother going together to a new place. I am very sorry for your loss but glad you had the priviledge of being with her when she passed on.

    May you rest now, comforted by the fact that she is at peace.

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