Hi,
Bit of background - my Mum has mixed Alzheimers and vascular dementia as well as mobility problems caused by collapsed vertebra, osteoarthritis and osteoporosis. She has been living with me since August 2014 following a bad fall in her retirement flat. She usually goes to daycare while I am at work (full time) but sometimes refuses to go which does cause me worry.
Now Mums dementia isn't really that bad, she still knows who I am and who my sister is but has forgotten all her (about 10) cousins. She can't follow the plot of a TV programme but enjoys watching things without a plot (eg Police Interceptors!), but struggles with switching the TV on or off. With her mobility problems I do all the 'fetching and carrying' getting her drinks, warming up her wheat bags etc. when I am at home. Shes still continent, so no problems there at the moment.
3 weeks ago she was admitted to hospital following a silent heart attack (no chext pain etc. so we didn't know) which caused fluid to build up on her lungs. She was in hospital for 2 weeks and has been back home about a week, she's completely forgotten she was ever in hospital which is not really surprising. I have noticed her dementia has progressed a bit - for example I now need to help her get changed or she sits on the edge of her bed not knowing what to do next and she sometimes forgets where the bathroom/her bedroom are. She's very easy going, and does say 'you must get very frustrated with me sometimes'. Well yes I can when it's gone 11 pm and I want to go to bed but she doesn't, but I'd never tell her that!
The two weeks she was in hospital and not in my care has made me realise how tired I am working full time and looking after Mum. Now she is back home it's hit me again - I'm just exhausted! Mum is now also on 12 different medications which I have all planned out in separate boxes for time of day needed but I do feel a bit like a pharmacist.
I am struggling a bit now and also my work is suffering which is not good. My sister lives 350 miles away so can't really help out much although she does visit every 6 - 8 weeks.
I can't afford (or want) to give up my job without losing the home I have worked hard for and never getting back on the property ladder, and I know pre dementia Mum would have never wanted me to even contemplate it.
Basically I'm wondering if it is time for a care home for Mum, but every time I think about it I break out in tears and think I can't do that to her. But I equally don't know how much longer I can go on!
Any advice?
Thanks
Sally
Bit of background - my Mum has mixed Alzheimers and vascular dementia as well as mobility problems caused by collapsed vertebra, osteoarthritis and osteoporosis. She has been living with me since August 2014 following a bad fall in her retirement flat. She usually goes to daycare while I am at work (full time) but sometimes refuses to go which does cause me worry.
Now Mums dementia isn't really that bad, she still knows who I am and who my sister is but has forgotten all her (about 10) cousins. She can't follow the plot of a TV programme but enjoys watching things without a plot (eg Police Interceptors!), but struggles with switching the TV on or off. With her mobility problems I do all the 'fetching and carrying' getting her drinks, warming up her wheat bags etc. when I am at home. Shes still continent, so no problems there at the moment.
3 weeks ago she was admitted to hospital following a silent heart attack (no chext pain etc. so we didn't know) which caused fluid to build up on her lungs. She was in hospital for 2 weeks and has been back home about a week, she's completely forgotten she was ever in hospital which is not really surprising. I have noticed her dementia has progressed a bit - for example I now need to help her get changed or she sits on the edge of her bed not knowing what to do next and she sometimes forgets where the bathroom/her bedroom are. She's very easy going, and does say 'you must get very frustrated with me sometimes'. Well yes I can when it's gone 11 pm and I want to go to bed but she doesn't, but I'd never tell her that!
The two weeks she was in hospital and not in my care has made me realise how tired I am working full time and looking after Mum. Now she is back home it's hit me again - I'm just exhausted! Mum is now also on 12 different medications which I have all planned out in separate boxes for time of day needed but I do feel a bit like a pharmacist.
I am struggling a bit now and also my work is suffering which is not good. My sister lives 350 miles away so can't really help out much although she does visit every 6 - 8 weeks.
I can't afford (or want) to give up my job without losing the home I have worked hard for and never getting back on the property ladder, and I know pre dementia Mum would have never wanted me to even contemplate it.
Basically I'm wondering if it is time for a care home for Mum, but every time I think about it I break out in tears and think I can't do that to her. But I equally don't know how much longer I can go on!
Any advice?
Thanks
Sally