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Mum's Little Dog

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
I am in a horrible position and I think by the title of this thread you can guess. Mum's dog is ill and I have made the decision that tomorrow she will be put to sleep. It is breaking my heart to do this, its a little piece of mum that I am loosing and I am a little worried about how she will react when all over . Tears coming now.

The dog spent 48 hours in the vets at the beginning of this week, very ill over the weekend, the problem is that she has this huge, hard lump on her neck that is probably pressing on wind pipe and there was a plan to de-bulk this as well as remove final few teeth and one other much softer lump on her tummy, operation was planned for Tuesday but the weekend just took over and poor puppy was not well and these lumps suddenly got so big. Bloods found an infection which was probably a big contribution to the sudden size of lumps so antibiotics pumped into her. Vet called me on Tuesday evening to say that the x ray had shown other things and that they had made the decision they could not carry on with the operation and if it was not for mum and her dementia, knowing how she feels about the dog and it was just me then the best thing to do was to end all this but they were willing to send her home. She has been home with a huge bag of medication, steroids being one and although the medication is helping, I am aware of how quickly she could deteriorate. She is sleeping on the sofa, breathing well and has eaten with medication hidden in food.

I am so concerned about what this all means for mum, although while the dog was in the vets, mum was sort of ok, but did ask me a few times "where is my baby" ? and checked out a few boxes in case she was hiding in one. She will be affected by this, especially when sundowning, because that is the time when she gets anxious about the dog and just wants to be near her, touching and covering her up with something. and I will have to deal with it by keeping up the love lies, but I feel bad too and will miss her. in the past four years I have lost 3 pets and this will be the fourth.

So there we are, a longer post than I planned and truthfully I was not going to post about this at all, until she had gone, but just feeling so sad today, had to do something.
 

Soobee

Registered User
Aug 22, 2009
2,734
South
I'm so sorry, Tin. I can't offer anything except an understanding of the love and comfort our pets give us.
 

father ted

Registered User
Aug 16, 2010
698
London
Sorry for the situation you are in Tin.
As an animal lover you will know that first and foremost you must do what's right for that little dog and not leave her in pain.
We had a similar thing with my Mum and her cat who had cancer. Mum did not realise how sick the cat was because I was cleaning up the sick and faecal matter with blood in it before she even got downstairs and kept saying 'she's nit that bad'. But after a brief reprieve her little cat was put down. Mum was very upset on the day and for weeks afterward said how she missed her but fortunately understood it was for the best.

It will be sad all round but has to be done.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,034
Scotland
Buy your Mum one of those realistic looking stuffed dogs eg from. Build a bear. Of course it's not the same but short term she has something to stroke and talk to.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
Buy your Mum one of those realistic looking stuffed dogs eg from. Build a bear. Of course it's not the same but short term she has something to stroke and talk to.
I do have a lookalike, bought it a while ago to try and encourage mum to leave real dog alone, but of course if did not work so I put it away for a later day, that day now here. Tomorrow when all this is over I shall put it on the sofa and hope it works this time. I noticed yesterday that mum was stroking what I thought and mum too, was one of the cats fast asleep in the armchair, turned out it was one of her furry hats.
 

reedysue

Registered User
Nov 4, 2014
4,760
Scotland
So sorry Tin, it is such a difficult situation. I bough my mum a replica dog toy which she ignored for about a year but she now carries it around and sleeps with it at night so it might be worth another try with your mum.
Thinking of you.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,080
Nottinghamshire
I do have a lookalike, bought it a while ago to try and encourage mum to leave real dog alone, but of course if did not work so I put it away for a later day, that day now here. Tomorrow when all this is over I shall put it on the sofa and hope it works this time. I noticed yesterday that mum was stroking what I thought and mum too, was one of the cats fast asleep in the armchair, turned out it was one of her furry hats.
Should've gone to specsavers :D:D

Seriously though, I do feel for you and your mum's little dog. We had to make the decision to put a much loved pet out of his misery last year and I'm afraid I cried buckets too. I hope the toy dog helps..
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
Thank you all, I am just sick with worry, guilt and sadness. Every dog that my parents have had and lost they replaced immediately, but that is something I cannot do.

Unrealistic I know, but deep down inside I thought that the dog would be around for a long time enough time to comfort me when things got bad here. I had to go through this same time last year with my elderly cat and previous year for my own dog.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,616
Chester
I'm sorry to hear about your mum's dog. I hope that sundowning and looking for it doesn't kick in too badly, you will sadly just have to repeat the vet story.

Pets are so important, and they really give you strength in hard times.

Hopefully you'll be able to get another dog at some stage, but as you infer, might not work to do so now.
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,318
66
Toronto, Canada
I'm so sorry, it is such a hard thing to go through. Our two cats are 15 now, and one in particular is a Mummy's girl. She follows me everywhere, sleeps on my side of the bed snuggled up to me and is the sweetest cat.

It is always heartbreaking when our pets get seriously ill. You know you are dong the right thing but it hurts.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
I'm sorry to hear about your mum's dog. I hope that sundowning and looking for it doesn't kick in too badly, you will sadly just have to repeat the vet story.

Pets are so important, and they really give you strength in hard times.

Hopefully you'll be able to get another dog at some stage, but as you infer, might not work to do so now.
We had a little sundowning this afternoon and yes mum kept going to the sofa. I will probably not get another dog. I still have three cats and well their time will come, don't want to put myself through this any more than I have to.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
I'm so sorry, it is such a hard thing to go through. Our two cats are 15 now, and one in particular is a Mummy's girl. She follows me everywhere, sleeps on my side of the bed snuggled up to me and is the sweetest cat.

It is always heartbreaking when our pets get seriously ill. You know you are dong the right thing but it hurts.
Same with my tabby, she was my shadow.
 

Dee62

New member
Mar 23, 2018
9
Tin I'm so sorry that you are going through this with your mum's little dog, it's bad enough losing a pet without the added worry about how mum will react to it. My heart really does go out to you.
 

Elle3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2016
642
So sorry to read this Tin, what a dilemma for you, but you know you have to do what is best for the little dog and you will have to hope your mum's dementia works in her favour and helps her forget. Lets' hope the lookalike helps.

Big hugs.
Elle x
 

Lavender45

Registered User
Jun 7, 2015
1,598
Liverpool
Being honest Tin I read your post yesterday, but I just didn't have the correct words to offer support.

I'm not sure I have the right words today either, but regardless I want you to know I'm thinking of you and your mum on what must have be a sad and stressful day. X
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
Thank you Ellie, mum's little dog has now gone and without mum's knowledge, my neighbour came round to keep mum busy in the dining room and I stayed with dog until she passed and I cried so much could not talk. I know it was the right thing to do and then vet assured me that the medication was only to give us a few more days with her, it was never going to be long term. So far mum has not noticed that the sofa is empty, she has only wandered into the sitting room once and she did look, but I have put the furry hat there.

So now we will just have to wait and see if she forgets. It is something like this that always brings it home to me how much mum's life has changed and how small her world is becoming. Meantime I shall cry for her
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
Being honest Tin I read your post yesterday, but I just didn't have the correct words to offer support.

I'm not sure I have the right words today either, but regardless I want you to know I'm thinking of you and your mum on what must have be a sad and stressful day. X
Thank you Lavender, so far mum is unaware of what has happened, but as the day goes on I think she will start to ask me where she is. At the moment I am doing all the crying with a huge chunk of guilt because it was another decision that I had to make for mum and I have made a lot of those over the past 4 years, but this one really knocked me for 6 and I suspect that was so because I had become very fond of the little thing and she filled the gap left by my lab 2 years ago.

We still have the cats and hopefully they will help a little over the next few weeks, mum has already become close to one, mainly because he sits on the dining room table watching mum fiddle with things. The dining room has become a favourite place to be for mum.