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Mum's incontinence

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,540
Essex
I feel so down, I've switched my phone off today, we have a daily skype meet in the evening, I don't want to see their faces, can switch the

I know how you feel. Is there anyway you can give yourself a treat at the time that you should be skyping? @lemonbalm have you got any suggestions?

MaNaAk
 

Hazara8

Registered User
Apr 6, 2015
508
I certainly wouldnt wake her if she is asleep. If she wakes up because she is wet, then that is a different matter, but I would do everything I could to prevent wetness waking her (and to protect the bed) by having a waterproof mattress cover, a kylie sheet on the bed and using maximum absorbancy pads.
If l might say so. Excellent advice. That was my own experience and sleep being precious, should certainly not be disrupted. In early days the District Nurse kindly advised that changing pads up to at 15 times whilst using high absorbent pads, was rather extravagant! I soon learned the lesson. There are some seriously excellent incontinence products available now
 

Marie 67

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
38
I agree Jaden n Faded, he's using different tactics to try and prove I can't cope anymore, I've shielded mum for 18 weeks without any outside help, I got all our shopping online, volunteers got prescriptions they didn't lift a finger and are just waiting for the inheritance I think.
That’s my friends family didn’t lift a finger had no insight to her illness she was on budget disgusting I bought her meals she has money that’s what I say after inheritance . even other family members said that to me . know you turned on me surprising what few grand will do . her spouse died 2 months before .
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
575

I think you need to set some new ground rules here! You are doing an excellent job @Skyblue C . I strongly suggest you text your brother/s to suggest cutting down to one Skype call a week, which is plenty, and you'll contact him/them if there is an issue of any sort. Say that you are very busy looking after your mum and have confirmation from various sources that you are doing everything in the correct way, and they needn't bother themselves so much. Treat yourself to a glass of wine/cup of tea and a slice of cake/whatever you like at the time of the Skype call. Resist!!! This is the bit where we all start to sing "Sisters are doing it for themselves" All together now.....
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,418
South coast
Might I also suggest the you borrow @Weasell s parrot.
It is a beautifully coloured parrot that sits on your shoulder and no-one else can see or hear it, but it says all the things that you want to say and have never dared.

I could just imagine you skyping your brother with the visuals switched off, a glass of wine in one hand and weasells parrot saying rude things about your brother on your shoulder.
:cool::cool::cool:
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
575
Might I also suggest the you borrow @Weasell s parrot.
It is a beautifully coloured parrot that sits on your shoulder and no-one else can see or hear it, but it says all the things that you want to say and have never dared.

I could just imagine you skyping your brother with the visuals switched off, a glass of wine in one hand and weasells parrot saying rude things about your brother on your shoulder.
:cool::cool::cool:
Excellent. We will all be imaging that later
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
551
My parrot is available to all that need it! What a good memory you have @canary.

It came in handy this morning ! but for a change it was consoling me !
Mum said ‘ I know you are taking things from this house but please wait until I die’ !
I gave thanks to talking point at this point, a comment like that is so hurtful, but when you have read post after post written by others , you know that it happening is a possibility and also that it is on par for the course when it comes to dementia!

What is the saying? Forewarned is forearmed?

We already have the rings on a chain round the neck due to ‘ others’ stealing them! but me being guilty is new! Never mind I’m cool ! Parrot therapist sorted me out!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,418
South coast
Oh @Weasell , thats horrible. Mum did the same to me - first it was her cleaner stealing things (so she sacked her), then it was the neighbours, then a very old and dear friend of hers and then finally it was me.

I wish I had had the parrot then.

Im not sure whether its worse when the PWD dementia says horrible things, or when its family that should really be supporting you.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
551
Oh @Weasell , thats horrible. Mum did the same to me - first it was her cleaner stealing things (so she sacked her), then it was the neighbours, then a very old and dear friend of hers and then finally it was me.

I wish I had had the parrot then.

Im not sure whether its worse when the PWD dementia says horrible things, or when its family that should really be supporting you.
I definitely think poor @Skyblue C has got it worse ! When I read what others go though with family members my heart goes out to them. I only have an unbiased parrot, and that says I am a carer of the highest calibre !!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,540
Essex
Oh @Weasell , thats horrible. Mum did the same to me - first it was her cleaner stealing things (so she sacked her), then it was the neighbours, then a very old and dear friend of hers and then finally it was me.

I wish I had had the parrot then.

Im not sure whether its worse when the PWD dementia says horrible things, or when its family that should really be supporting you.
At least with a @PWD you know it is the illness. When dad started to come round from his falls with very low sugar levels I was told I was evil. However when he got back to his normal self he would ask for his daughter and he would tell the relatives of his friends in the home about his daughter.

MaNaAk
 

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