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Mum's incontinence

Skyblue C

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
30
I care for my mum who has Alzheimer's disease, she has been totally incontinent for the past 3 years, but i'm wondering if i'm doing things the right way as not being a trained carer and never had any advice on the subject.
What it is, I change mum clean her up and put a fresh pad on before bed and as soon as she gets up in the morning,
Is this okay or should I be waking her up from her deep sleep during the night to do a change ?
Any advice would be gratefully received, many thanks all.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,605
Essex
Dear @Matty C,

You are amazing. I don't have as much experience of this as you do but I would have that it's best to let her and you sleep if possible and change her in the morning.

@MaNaAk
 

Skyblue C

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
30
Yes MaNaAk, that's what I thought, but yet again my middle brother is making me doubt everything I do x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,434
South coast
I certainly wouldnt wake her if she is asleep. If she wakes up because she is wet, then that is a different matter, but I would do everything I could to prevent wetness waking her (and to protect the bed) by having a waterproof mattress cover, a kylie sheet on the bed and using maximum absorbancy pads.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,605
Essex
Dear @SkyBlueC,

My invisibles are well known you must keep believing in yourself and not get swayed by bullying.

Hugs

MaNaAk
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
909
High Peak
Yes MaNaAk, that's what I thought, but yet again my middle brother is making me doubt everything I do x
I would tell your dear brother that if he thinks your mum needs a pad change in the middle of the night, he should come over and change it for her. I expect that would change his opinion.
 

Skyblue C

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
30
I agree Jaden n Faded, he's using different tactics to try and prove I can't cope anymore, I've shielded mum for 18 weeks without any outside help, I got all our shopping online, volunteers got prescriptions they didn't lift a finger and are just waiting for the inheritance I think.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,434
South coast
It sounds to me like your brother is one of those people who thinks that they know better than anyone else how to treat dementia, despite having zero hands-on experience.

In my book, someone who has not not helped with the caring has not earned the right to dictate care. I hope youve got the support of your SW.
 

Skyblue C

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
30
I feel so down, I've switched my phone off today, we have a daily skype meet in the evening, I don't want to see their faces, can switch their screens off haha
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,740
cornwall
I care for my mum who has Alzheimer's disease, she has been totally incontinent for the past 3 years, but i'm wondering if i'm doing things the right way as not being a trained carer and never had any advice on the subject.
What it is, I change mum clean her up and put a fresh pad on before bed and as soon as she gets up in the morning,
Is this okay or should I be waking her up from her deep sleep during the night to do a change ?
Any advice would be gratefully received, many thanks all.
Hi. I used to be a carer. I found that people wake up when they are wet and cold. So if this is the case then maybe change her if need be. But if not letting her sleep is the best thing.
If you haven’t got them and she gets soaking wet then maybe you need purple slip pads from Tena. These are for overnight.
 

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
313
Central Scotland
I feel so down, I've switched my phone off today, we have a daily skype meet in the evening, I don't want to see their faces, can switch their screens off haha
It sounds to me like your brother is one of those people who thinks that they know better than anyone else how to treat dementia, despite having zero hands-on experience.

In my book, someone who has not not helped with the caring has not earned the right to dictate care. I hope youve got the support of your SW.
Tell your brother that you are following the strict instructions of the Continence nurse/team and they are very pleased that she has not had an infection, UTI or rash in all these months - that should put his gas in a peep.