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Mums going in a home.

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
75
0
52
Liverpool
After 10 weeks of caring for mum full time I’ve finally got a place in a beautiful care home for her. I know it’s only been 10 weeks and I’m sorry to all of you amazing people who’ve been doing this for years. I have bad anxiety and depression and had a mini stroke last year. I suffer terribly with diverticulitis and in the time she’s been with me she broke her arm, I had a bad flare of diverticulitis and then got a chest infection. I am glad that the home is so lovely but I feel broken hearted too. She’s had a tough life, losing my two brothers when they were 33 and my dad at 70 all within the space of 5 years. This bloody disease is vile. She’s in her happy world and me and the rest of her family are the ones suffering. The guilt and sense of loss is already so strong. I feel when I take her on Wednesday that I’m losing her. I’ve bought so much stuff to take in and the home have said they’ll make her room lovely for her. I’m going to put my big girl face on on the day and do my crying when she’s gone in but I’m frightened. I know she’ll get the best care but I suppose feeling this way is normal. She’s five into her diagnosis and the change in her over the last year has been dramatic. Xx
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,615
0
Southampton
After 10 weeks of caring for mum full time I’ve finally got a place in a beautiful care home for her. I know it’s only been 10 weeks and I’m sorry to all of you amazing people who’ve been doing this for years. I have bad anxiety and depression and had a mini stroke last year. I suffer terribly with diverticulitis and in the time she’s been with me she broke her arm, I had a bad flare of diverticulitis and then got a chest infection. I am glad that the home is so lovely but I feel broken hearted too. She’s had a tough life, losing my two brothers when they were 33 and my dad at 70 all within the space of 5 years. This bloody disease is vile. She’s in her happy world and me and the rest of her family are the ones suffering. The guilt and sense of loss is already so strong. I feel when I take her on Wednesday that I’m losing her. I’ve bought so much stuff to take in and the home have said they’ll make her room lovely for her. I’m going to put my big girl face on on the day and do my crying when she’s gone in but I’m frightened. I know she’ll get the best care but I suppose feeling this way is normal. She’s five into her diagnosis and the change in her over the last year has been dramatic. Xx
good luck for wednesday. it might be heartbreaking but dont feel guilty. you need to stay healthy to be able to visit her. maybe treat yourself on wednesday knowingf you have done your best and still doing your best for your mum by looking after her and getting her the care that she needs
 

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
75
0
52
Liverpool
good luck for wednesday. it might be heartbreaking but dont feel guilty. you need to stay healthy to be able to visit her. maybe treat yourself on wednesday knowingf you have done your best and still doing your best for your mum by looking after her and getting her the care that she needs
Thankyou ❤️❤️❤️❤️
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,496
0
Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault that your mum has this disease and it is very difficult to deal with. You have done your best and you can't do anymore.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,983
0
South coast
I remember your previous threads and Im glad that you have found a nice care home for her. Please dont feel guilty, most of us get to the stage where the dementia is far too difficult for one person to care for. You had reached your limit and finding somewhere nice for her to live is the best thing you could have done for her. Things are beginning to open up now and you will be able to visit and become her daughter again. You will still be caring for her, but not the hard, hands-on stuff.

Yes, put on the performance of a life-time on Wednesday as she will take her cue from you and you dont want her to be upset. Im sure you will cry in the car park (I think we all do), but then try and fine something nice for you to do.
xxx
 

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
75
0
52
Liverpool
I remember your previous threads and Im glad that you have found a nice care home for her. Please dont feel guilty, most of us get to the stage where the dementia is far too difficult for one person to care for. You had reached your limit and finding somewhere nice for her to live is the best thing you could have done for her. Things are beginning to open up now and you will be able to visit and become her daughter again. You will still be caring for her, but not the hard, hands-on stuff.

Yes, put on the performance of a life-time on Wednesday as she will take her cue from you and you dont want her to be upset. Im sure you will cry in the car park (I think we all do), but then try and fine something nice for you to do.
xxx
Thankyou ❤️❤️❤️❤️
 

Hoped

Registered User
May 17, 2020
22
0
This is such a difficult situation however your mum needs to be kept safe and unfortunately one person cannot do that alone.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,065
0
Essex
Dear @Nannyslittlechip ,

I know exactly how you feel you've done your mum proud and now it's time to look after yourself. I also want to say that I'm sorry to hear about your dad and brothers and you've done them proud as well.

Hugs

MaNaAk

PS: I felt grief and relief as well when dad went into his home.
 

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
75
0
52
Liverpool
I’m taking her there at twelve tomorrow, just in time for lunch. I thought that was a good time so she can meet people while they fix up her room. My brother isn’t coming 🙄🙄 leaving everything to me as usual. Oh well he’s got live with that. Xx
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,615
0
Southampton
I’m taking her there at twelve tomorrow, just in time for lunch. I thought that was a good time so she can meet people while they fix up her room. My brother isn’t coming 🙄🙄 leaving everything to me as usual. Oh well he’s got live with that. Xx
i hope all goes well. good strategy just before lunch, makes it easier to disappear
 

Milvus

Registered User
Sep 5, 2019
61
0
Hope your Mum settles in well. My mother moved into a care home two weeks ago and I've found it hard to let go of the reins after being responsible for so much for so long. You will know that you've done the right thing for her and hopefully it will take a lot of strain off you so that when you visit you can enjoy each other's company without having to rush around doing all the practical stuff. Does she have to quarantine in her room for the first two weeks?
 

Reets

New member
Apr 23, 2021
4
0
I'm in the same situation, Monday is D-Day for my Dad. I am trying to put some things together & break down every time. My head and heart are fighting with each other. I'm panicking about the 10 day isolation period, but I know he is good hands.