After nearly seven years of caring for mum tomorrow is the day I've been dreading. It makes it so final. I have cried once since she died and I'm not sure what I feel. My sister cries at the drop of a hat and is really annoyed with that and I feel nothing. My sleeping pattern is all over the place and my friends ring me all the time to see how I am. My friend down the road lost her husband 3 weeks ago in his 50's and I can understand her grief. But mum's I've been waiting for for a long time. I have been going through the old photos and recent ones and they make me happy not sad. I have loved nearly every single day with mum and don't regret it. I would never have got the chance to spend all this time with mum without the dementia but at the same time I wish she hadn't had to go through it all. Confusing I know. So tomorrow we say goodbye and we celebrate her life and I hope she's not giving my dad too much grief for not fetching her sooner!!