Mum's friend

[Pscrub]

My Mum is 85 and regularly meets up with a slightly older friend for lunch. The friend's memory has been deteriorating for quite a long time and my Mum is concerned. This lady is often late, arrives on the wrong day and once got lost on the way. She is constantly losing things, like her teeth and her bus pass. Mum says she seems somewhat depressed and less inclined to chat. She is a widow living alone with no family; she has a sister who visits occasionally but we have no contact details for her.

This lady admits that her 'memory is not what it used to be' but Mum doesn't think that the GP is aware of the increasing problems she is having.

It's a tricky situation and they are not especially close friends really, they just meet socially. Would it be the right thing to find out who the GP is and pass on Mum's observations?

She is a churchgoer, perhaps that's another avenue.

Can anyone offer advice please?

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Pscrub

Welcome to Talking Point.

If your mum`s friend has no one to look out for her, it`s only and act of kindness if your mum tries to point her in the right direction to get help for her difficulties.

I think it would be fine for your mum to pass on her observations to the friend`s GP.

I did this about a neighbour who was convinced she had a brain tumour, even though she was being treated for neuralgia. Luckily we had the same GP so I was able to approach her. I knew she wouldn`t be able to discuss my neighbour with me but she did listen and took appropriate action.

 

[Pscrub]

Welcome to Talking Point.

If your mum`s friend has no one to look out for her, it`s only and act of kindness if your mum tries to point her in the right direction to get help for her difficulties.

I think it would be fine for your mum to pass on her observations to the friend`s GP.

I did this about a neighbour who was convinced she had a brain tumour, even though she was being treated for neuralgia. Luckily we had the same GP so I was able to approach her. I knew she wouldn`t be able to discuss my neighbour with me but she did listen and took appropriate action.

Thanks; we are thinking that the GP may be able to offer help; we feel that she is quite vulnerable though she doesn't seem to realise it. I'll get Mum to find out who her GP is. I understand that there will be no discussion but as you say I can pass on our concerns.

 

[Grannie G]

Even if this lady does not have dementia Pscrub you are being a true Dementia Friend.

 

[jaymor]

Hello Pscrub and welcome.

If your Mum's friend does not have dementia there is something that is causing these changes and only her doctor can sort this for her so your idea of advising the doctor of your concerns is excellent.

 

[Pscrub]

Hello Pscrub and welcome.

If your Mum's friend does not have dementia there is something that is causing these changes and only her doctor can sort this for her so your idea of advising the doctor of your concerns is excellent.

Thanks Jaymor, I felt that was the right way to go, I just wasn't sure if it was acceptable and the best thing to do. Much appreciated.

 

[Quilty]

I would also consider a quiet work with the Vicar at the church she attends. They can maybe help to support her too as many churches visit the elderly or get them involved in the parish as a way of keeping them socially active. With no family of her own she needs people in her life as well as your Mum. It is so wonderful to know that you and your Mum are prepared to go a little extra to keep this lady well. I hope you get her some support regardless of what her problems might be.

 

[Pscrub]

I would also consider a quiet work with the Vicar at the church she attends. They can maybe help to support her too as many churches visit the elderly or get them involved in the parish as a way of keeping them socially active. With no family of her own she needs people in her life as well as your Mum. It is so wonderful to know that you and your Mum are prepared to go a little extra to keep this lady well. I hope you get her some support regardless of what her problems might be.

Thank you very much, I will do that.