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Mum's fight is over

Lulu

Registered User
Nov 28, 2004
391
Just to let you know, those who ever responded to my posts, and those who read them, that after a long, long illness, my Mum has died. She had been deteriorating over such a long time and of course her death wasn't unexpected in that regard, however her ending was sudden and unexpected, and traumatic. She fought this disease every step of the way, right to the end, so I have to look on it as being the end of her suffering. Her brain tissue goes to research and we shall eventually know, I am told, exactly the type pf dementia she had.
 

Doggy86*

Registered User
Sep 2, 2018
51
Islington
Hi Lulu

Sorry for your loss, I'm sure it been a difficult road for you, your Mum is at peace now.

My Mother is very poorly at the moment so I understand some of what you have been through.

Doggy86*
 

Pouli

Registered User
Feb 9, 2019
49
Just to let you know, those who ever responded to my posts, and those who read them, that after a long, long illness, my Mum has died. She had been deteriorating over such a long time and of course her death wasn't unexpected in that regard, however her ending was sudden and unexpected, and traumatic. She fought this disease every step of the way, right to the end, so I have to look on it as being the end of her suffering. Her brain tissue goes to research and we shall eventually know, I am told, exactly the type pf dementia she had.
((((Hugs)))) It may have been expected but it's a fearful emotional shock. This disease is so cruel. It devastates so many lives. Your Mum is at peace now so don't worry about what you didn't do, but remember all the things that you did do for her. I'm sure it will leave a huge gap in your life, even though you must be relieved that the fight is over for her. Many of us will be sending hugs to you at this difficult time.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,161
Yorkshire
sad news @Lulu
it's so tough to see a loved one fighting so hard - your mum is at peace now, and I hope knowing you stood by her has given you some peace of mind also

thank you for donating tissue for research, that's a wonderful gift from you and your mum
 

Lulu

Registered User
Nov 28, 2004
391
Thank you, all. I do not yet know how I am going to deal with it all. During Mum's illness I have seen 3 children through university and well beyond. , have become a grandma ...and it all has been done in what seems like a hurried manner ...so that I can deal with whatever then get back to Mum and sort her out. She needed a lot of sorting out. Suddenly I turn around and I am aged myself with my own health problems, not knowing how, or if, I can now do what I wish to do with what remains of the future. Would I care for her again? YES. The cost has been great, and Mum would never have wanted me to pay the price that I have, but I just have not a clue how one can get over this, after all that. I just do not know.
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
467
So sorry for your loss - take care of yourself and try and remember your happier times together
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,526
Kent
Thank you, all. I do not yet know how I am going to deal with it all. During Mum's illness I have seen 3 children through university and well beyond. , have become a grandma ...and it all has been done in what seems like a hurried manner ...so that I can deal with whatever then get back to Mum and sort her out. She needed a lot of sorting out. Suddenly I turn around and I am aged myself with my own health problems, not knowing how, or if, I can now do what I wish to do with what remains of the future. Would I care for her again? YES. The cost has been great, and Mum would never have wanted me to pay the price that I have, but I just have not a clue how one can get over this, after all that. I just do not know.
I think the challenges and what we witness and have to deal with do change us as a person but try, once the funeral has passed, to give yourself time to adjust to the having the time to enjoy your children your grandchild and perhaps in time gently pick up some of your own interests as well. I am sorry for your loss and that the end was sudden and traumatic. As I discovered with my own dad's end of life which came obout suddenly this vile illness is an unexpected roller coaster right til the end.
 

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,617
USA
@Lulu, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Please accept my condolences. How awful that the end was traumatic. I am very sorry.

Thank you to you, your mum, and family, for donating her brain tissue for research.

Grief is so difficult and there is no one way, or right way, to get through this. I hope that you are able to look after yourself as much as possible, and get some rest. Very best wishes to you and your family at this difficult time, and please feel that you are still, and always, welcome here on TP.
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,624
Yorkshire
Sorry to hear of your loss. Even though it was expected, it's still a shock and you will be missing her so much. You must be feeling so bereft after all you have done. Wishing you solace and peace to decide on your new directions in life. xx
 

Pouli

Registered User
Feb 9, 2019
49
I agree with what others have said - it's time to focus on yourself and your family now. You did all that you could - and that is all anyone can do. Grief will be with you for a long while, but someone wise said that you just have to go on living, until one day you are alive again.

Best wishes to you and your family.
 

lis66

Registered User
Aug 7, 2015
277
So sorry for your loss Lulu,my mum is late stage Alzheimer's,and like you have said what do you do now ,I think about that often , because caring for them becomes a huge part of your life ((((hugs))) to you at this very sad time x
 

Lulu

Registered User
Nov 28, 2004
391
Thankyou all. I haven't been as generous with my time on here as many of you have, although I have thought about everyone on this same journey. I have not looked in for quite some time as I just couldn't face it, and shall probably give myself a good long break again now. Perhaps in the future I shall feel able to particiapte, but my heart goes out to everyone on this site. You are all kind and generous people.
 

Doggy86*

Registered User
Sep 2, 2018
51
Islington
Thank you, all. I do not yet know how I am going to deal with it all. During Mum's illness I have seen 3 children through university and well beyond. , have become a grandma ...and it all has been done in what seems like a hurried manner ...so that I can deal with whatever then get back to Mum and sort her out. She needed a lot of sorting out. Suddenly I turn around and I am aged myself with my own health problems, not knowing how, or if, I can now do what I wish to do with what remains of the future. Would I care for her again? YES. The cost has been great, and Mum would never have wanted me to pay the price that I have, but I just have not a clue how one can get over this, after all that. I just do not know.
 

Doggy86*

Registered User
Sep 2, 2018
51
Islington
Lulu,

I think you must be exhausted with all that you have been through, you must look after yourself now, give yourself time to greive. Then give yourself some TLC. Get plenty of rest, maybe go away for a bit. Once you feel rested enjoy the rest of your family.

Remember all you have done for your Mum, at the end of the day you did your best for her.

Take care and big hugs.
 

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