1. Lulu

    Lulu Registered User

    Nov 28, 2004
    391
    Just to let you know, those who ever responded to my posts, and those who read them, that after a long, long illness, my Mum has died. She had been deteriorating over such a long time and of course her death wasn't unexpected in that regard, however her ending was sudden and unexpected, and traumatic. She fought this disease every step of the way, right to the end, so I have to look on it as being the end of her suffering. Her brain tissue goes to research and we shall eventually know, I am told, exactly the type pf dementia she had.
     
  2. Doggy86*

    Doggy86* Registered User

    Sep 2, 2018
    51
    Islington
    Hi Lulu

    Sorry for your loss, I'm sure it been a difficult road for you, your Mum is at peace now.

    My Mother is very poorly at the moment so I understand some of what you have been through.

    Doggy86*
     
  3. Pouli

    Pouli Registered User

    Feb 9, 2019
    49
    ((((Hugs)))) It may have been expected but it's a fearful emotional shock. This disease is so cruel. It devastates so many lives. Your Mum is at peace now so don't worry about what you didn't do, but remember all the things that you did do for her. I'm sure it will leave a huge gap in your life, even though you must be relieved that the fight is over for her. Many of us will be sending hugs to you at this difficult time.
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,436
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss @Lulu. Wishing you strength.
     
  5. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,920
    Yorkshire
    sad news @Lulu
    it's so tough to see a loved one fighting so hard - your mum is at peace now, and I hope knowing you stood by her has given you some peace of mind also

    thank you for donating tissue for research, that's a wonderful gift from you and your mum
     
  6. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,591
    Scotland
    Sending you my condolences.
     
  7. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    3,507
    south-east London
    I am sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you at such a difficult time.
     
  8. Lulu

    Lulu Registered User

    Nov 28, 2004
    391
    Thank you, all. I do not yet know how I am going to deal with it all. During Mum's illness I have seen 3 children through university and well beyond. , have become a grandma ...and it all has been done in what seems like a hurried manner ...so that I can deal with whatever then get back to Mum and sort her out. She needed a lot of sorting out. Suddenly I turn around and I am aged myself with my own health problems, not knowing how, or if, I can now do what I wish to do with what remains of the future. Would I care for her again? YES. The cost has been great, and Mum would never have wanted me to pay the price that I have, but I just have not a clue how one can get over this, after all that. I just do not know.
     
  9. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,454
    Female
    England
    Sorry to hear of your sad loss, wishing you strength in the weeks to come.
     
  10. Jale

    Jale Registered User

    Jul 9, 2018
    245
    Female
    So sorry for your loss - take care of yourself and try and remember your happier times together
     
  11. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,384
    Kent
    I think the challenges and what we witness and have to deal with do change us as a person but try, once the funeral has passed, to give yourself time to adjust to the having the time to enjoy your children your grandchild and perhaps in time gently pick up some of your own interests as well. I am sorry for your loss and that the end was sudden and traumatic. As I discovered with my own dad's end of life which came obout suddenly this vile illness is an unexpected roller coaster right til the end.
     
  12. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    @Lulu, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Please accept my condolences. How awful that the end was traumatic. I am very sorry.

    Thank you to you, your mum, and family, for donating her brain tissue for research.

    Grief is so difficult and there is no one way, or right way, to get through this. I hope that you are able to look after yourself as much as possible, and get some rest. Very best wishes to you and your family at this difficult time, and please feel that you are still, and always, welcome here on TP.
     
  13. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Sorry to hear of your loss. Even though it was expected, it's still a shock and you will be missing her so much. You must be feeling so bereft after all you have done. Wishing you solace and peace to decide on your new directions in life. xx
     
  14. Pouli

    Pouli Registered User

    Feb 9, 2019
    49
    I agree with what others have said - it's time to focus on yourself and your family now. You did all that you could - and that is all anyone can do. Grief will be with you for a long while, but someone wise said that you just have to go on living, until one day you are alive again.

    Best wishes to you and your family.
     
  15. lis66

    lis66 Registered User

    Aug 7, 2015
    253
    So sorry for your loss Lulu,my mum is late stage Alzheimer's,and like you have said what do you do now ,I think about that often , because caring for them becomes a huge part of your life ((((hugs))) to you at this very sad time x
     
  16. Lulu

    Lulu Registered User

    Nov 28, 2004
    391
    Thankyou all. I haven't been as generous with my time on here as many of you have, although I have thought about everyone on this same journey. I have not looked in for quite some time as I just couldn't face it, and shall probably give myself a good long break again now. Perhaps in the future I shall feel able to particiapte, but my heart goes out to everyone on this site. You are all kind and generous people.
     
  17. lis66

    lis66 Registered User

    Aug 7, 2015
    253
    Thank you Lulu
     
  18. Doggy86*

    Doggy86* Registered User

    Sep 2, 2018
    51
    Islington
     
  19. Doggy86*

    Doggy86* Registered User

    Sep 2, 2018
    51
    Islington
    Lulu,

    I think you must be exhausted with all that you have been through, you must look after yourself now, give yourself time to greive. Then give yourself some TLC. Get plenty of rest, maybe go away for a bit. Once you feel rested enjoy the rest of your family.

    Remember all you have done for your Mum, at the end of the day you did your best for her.

    Take care and big hugs.
     

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