Mums dislike of a specific carer

amy2512

Registered User
Dec 11, 2007
51
Cambridgeshire
Hello to everyone :)

I was after a bit of advice from someone who may have experience in this...

Mum has three carers who come in over the course of the week. Two of whom she really likes and can't praise highly enough. The other however I hear nothing but criticism about. To the point where when she leaves Mum will be really low and down about herself. Apparently, and I can of course only go by what Mum says, this carer is a 'young girl' and a 'right thicko'!!!!! She apparently hardly speaks to Mum and they sit and listen to music until the time is up then she leaves. Now due to Mums praise about the other two, I am happy to take Mums word about this carer, or at least believe that they just haven't clicked. The other two carers are more Mums age and very proactive shall we say about what they do with Mum - house work, walks, reading the paper to her, going to town etc etc. So how do I address this? Should I call the manager of the care company up and ask for this girl not to visit Mum? How do I explain that Mum views her as a 'thicko' and wants someone with more intellegence?! Gosh that sounds bad! Hence me asking here rather than phoning up and insulting this woman!

Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.

Amy
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,392
Kent
Hello Amy

You do not need to use the expression `thicko` but you should phone the agency.
I would explain that your mother is really happy with the other two carers but just does not seem to `click` with this young woman. Perhaps she is happier with more mature people.
I`m sure the agency will try to accommodate your mother.
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
Suffolk,England
Agree with Sylvia, you need to be firm but there's no need to tell the hurtful detail. I'm sure the agency will have experience of this before.
Perhaps a more mature carer will share your Mum's taste in conversation & music more closely (imagining scenario of Amy's Mum trying to appreciate Rap music :eek:)
 

mowood

Registered User
Dec 27, 2009
373
West Yorkshire
Hi Amy

I had this problem some years ago when one of my mum's carers just didn't know how to interact with her. My mum was always upset and flat when she left.

I contacted the agency and just explained the problem honestly and the following week we had a new carer and she was fine.

I think you have to put your mum's feelings first. If the carer is a professional, she should understand.

I hope you can resolve this to ease your own mind.

MW
 

amy2512

Registered User
Dec 11, 2007
51
Cambridgeshire
Thank you for your advice everyone.

See it really is quite obvious really what I should do :rolleyes: I think I sometimes feel a bit overwhelmed by everything that needs doing for Mum, it all starts to mount up and then even the little things that should be relatively easy seem like such monumental tasks. So thank you again for the sensible advice. :)

I have emailed the care manager asking if the support worker had given any feedback as I was getting the impression that her and Mum hadn't 'clicked' and the manager said there was no feedback, but acknowledged that this support worker was very young and inexperienced and was infact only filling in temporarily as she has someone else in mind to come and work with Mum who she thinks will get on very well with her. So phew, all sorted!

And Lynne I think she would be forcefully thrown out the window if she tried to subject Mum to rap music!!! :D
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,392
Kent
acknowledged that this support worker was very young and inexperienced and was infact only filling in temporarily as she has someone else in mind to come and work with Mum who she thinks will get on very well with her.
It just shows how important it is to speak out about concerns. If you hadn`t Amy, you`d still be worrying.
Well done. :)