Mums dementia now at another level what to do?

[Quandrum]

Hi my mum has dementia mix which I have managed for 1 yr now.
it has now gone to the next level.wandering,abbusive she hates me won’t take her medication.
in all honesty I’m lost nothing seems to work.she has mental capacity enough to refuse any care or help
just today I spent 2hrs driving about looking for her luckily a friend saw her any advice guidance would really be helpful.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Quandrum.

I’m so sorry to read about your situation. It must be so worrying for you.

I see that you have said she refuses care or help. If you already have a contact with the Social Work Department it might be an idea to contact them and talk through the deteriorating situation with them. I would also contact your mum’s GP and explain the situation to them - they might be able to suggest something to help.

You might also find it useful to talk through the situation with someone on the Dementia Connect Support Line -

Dementia Support Line

If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

Admiral nurses might also be able to advise you. There‘s a contact number here -

Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline

Call or email our Dementia Helpline/Alzheimer's Helpline for reassuring and practical advice from our specialist team of Admiral Nurses.

www.dementiauk.org

I’m glad you’ve found this forum. There will always be someone here to listen and support.

 

[lemonbalm]

That sounds very stressful @Quandrum
I suppose you have checked for signs of urine infection if this has been a sudden change? Not always easy to get a sample from someone who is agitated though, I know. Keep posting to let us know how things are going. I hope you are able to get some help from the good advice and links @Izzy has given in the meantime.

 

[canary]

Assuming that there is no infection and this is due to progression of her dementia, wandering is a game changer that puts the person with dementia at great risk of harm. Do SS know that she is wandering now? Once the person with dementia is definitely at risk SS can overrule their stated wishes, so contact SS Adult Safeguarding to tell them

In the meantime there are one or two things that you can do
1 - does she always take her keys, handbag or the same coat? If so you can get a tracker that you can attach that will make it easier to find her.

2 - register her with the local police under the Herbert Protocol and contact them when she goes missing. They will have more resources to find her and will also sent a report to SS, which may give them the hurry ups.

People with dementia at risk of going missing (Herbert Protocol)

People with dementia can be at risk of going missing. Use the Herbert Protocol to write down information in advance, so you can give it to police quickly if they go missing.

www.met.police.uk

3 - keep a diary of the times she goes missing, how long she is missing for and where she is found.

All of the above will help you find her more easily and should convince SS that she now needs help.