I joined this forum last year after dad passed away when mum, who has vascular dementia, was in hospital following a fall. At that time I was looking for advice on whether to take mum to the funeral.
Just over a year later and so much has happened. Mum moved to a CH ten minutes from my house, settled in better than I had dared to hope, kept asking about dad - thought he had run away with a woman with two children (he was 87!) but didn’t seem too bothered by it – said she loved it there. Everything seemed to be going well, the dementia was fairly stable, we had lots of special days out because I didn’t know how long she would be able – but didn’t think things would deteriorate so quickly.
She fell at the CH in January and fractured and dislocated her shoulder. The fracture is non-healing and the hospital will not operate due to other health issues, heart, breathing etc. A month or two later she lost mobility in her legs and had to be hoisted, hospital thinks she had a series of mini strokes. Then she seemed to be in constant pain but when asked said there was no pain – turns out she had gall stones. Again the hospital wouldn’t operate but gave her medication which seems to be working.
She was assessed by social services as needing nursing care so had to move to a nursing home. Since the latest move she has gone downhill rapidly … I have just been on holiday for two weeks and she had two trips to the hospital in that time – one suspected stroke, the other suspected blood clot in arm. The latest is that she is storing food in her cheeks so all food has to be pureed. Food was the only pleasure remaining and it breaks my heart that she is being denied even this. I don’t know what to expect next – it’s one thing after another. She seems so depressed, sleeps a lot but not a restful sleep, her face lights up when she sees me then she falls back to sleep. The NH manager said that sometimes physical problems affect the dementia and it may improve once she has recovered.
I can’t believe that only a few months ago she was still enjoying having her hair and nails done, her films, her food, her days out – yes she was very confused but could still enjoy life. Where will it end? It’s so cruel, I thought I was prepared for this illness but it is worse than I could ever imagine.
Sorry for the rambling, just needed to get it all out of my head. What I wanted to ask was has anyone else experienced storing of food and rapid decline following illness or injury – and does it ever improve? Also the nursing home asked if I wanted her to be taken to hospital in future if she becomes poorly. I said that it depends - if she is in pain and it can be treated better in hospital, then yes, but if it is dementia-related and nothing can be done, then no. They said I have to say yes or no. Has anyone else been asked this?
Just over a year later and so much has happened. Mum moved to a CH ten minutes from my house, settled in better than I had dared to hope, kept asking about dad - thought he had run away with a woman with two children (he was 87!) but didn’t seem too bothered by it – said she loved it there. Everything seemed to be going well, the dementia was fairly stable, we had lots of special days out because I didn’t know how long she would be able – but didn’t think things would deteriorate so quickly.
She fell at the CH in January and fractured and dislocated her shoulder. The fracture is non-healing and the hospital will not operate due to other health issues, heart, breathing etc. A month or two later she lost mobility in her legs and had to be hoisted, hospital thinks she had a series of mini strokes. Then she seemed to be in constant pain but when asked said there was no pain – turns out she had gall stones. Again the hospital wouldn’t operate but gave her medication which seems to be working.
She was assessed by social services as needing nursing care so had to move to a nursing home. Since the latest move she has gone downhill rapidly … I have just been on holiday for two weeks and she had two trips to the hospital in that time – one suspected stroke, the other suspected blood clot in arm. The latest is that she is storing food in her cheeks so all food has to be pureed. Food was the only pleasure remaining and it breaks my heart that she is being denied even this. I don’t know what to expect next – it’s one thing after another. She seems so depressed, sleeps a lot but not a restful sleep, her face lights up when she sees me then she falls back to sleep. The NH manager said that sometimes physical problems affect the dementia and it may improve once she has recovered.
I can’t believe that only a few months ago she was still enjoying having her hair and nails done, her films, her food, her days out – yes she was very confused but could still enjoy life. Where will it end? It’s so cruel, I thought I was prepared for this illness but it is worse than I could ever imagine.
Sorry for the rambling, just needed to get it all out of my head. What I wanted to ask was has anyone else experienced storing of food and rapid decline following illness or injury – and does it ever improve? Also the nursing home asked if I wanted her to be taken to hospital in future if she becomes poorly. I said that it depends - if she is in pain and it can be treated better in hospital, then yes, but if it is dementia-related and nothing can be done, then no. They said I have to say yes or no. Has anyone else been asked this?
