Hi I've not been on here for a few months as I just needed to get on with things and make sure my mum was ok. I hope people don't mind me only coming on when I'm looking for help advice.
I'm looking for some advice and a bit of perspective - I don't know if I'm making more of my concerns than necessary.
My mum came out of hospital in September and into a carehome with nursing - she has Alzheimer's, macular degeneration, poor kidney function, chronic back and knee pain which has caused her to be immobile and need hoisting. She came out of hospital with a stage 3 bedsore in the area of her coccyx, this was almost healed up by her first carehome, it was too expensive to sustain and at the time the only home that could take mum. Once a place became available in a cheaper home we transferred her into it. It's a bigger, less personal home but it belongs to a group that prides itself on kindness. Initially, Despite my raising mums bedsore with staff and asking them how they were treating it, I got the impression that they weren't really doing much and mum was sat out on a chair without an aircushion most days for the first month. It was only from after Xmas that they starting giving her daily bedrest, as they said the bedsore had flared up. We're now into Feb and mum is still in bed almost everyday.
I have noticed my mum getting angry and a bit verbally aggressive recently - I put it down to her not getting much social interaction - which she thrives on., especially as she's blind. I've recently become aware of a lack of friendliness and the trademark kindness from staff towards my mum. I now she can come across as abrupt at times but every other place she's been the staff have always loved her.
Against all my concerns, the families were written to last week to inform them that a large scale investigation is happening, as there are various safeguarding concerns across the home. I emailed some of my concerns to the investigation team last week but no change yet.
Other concerns have been around personal care and faeces crusted in my mums nails and cuticles - she scratches the bedsore as it's itchy (sorry if it's TMI)
Today I went to visit, and my mum was in bed, a carer asked for a quick word with me and told me my mum had been angry and aggressive to her when turning her in bed, and she had told mum not to speak to her like this and she said if I hear anything from the nurse it's because of mums behaviour etc. I explained that this behaviour is only a recent thing and very likely related to her dementia and that my approach which works, is to use humour and jokes and she calms down (it's even set out as a strategy in mums notes) when I went into see mum she was lying facing the wall with the curtains drawn and very subdued, when she knew it was me she said she'd been shouted at and she wanted to leave "to go home" she said "I feel degraded" also her fingers and nails were covered in dried faeces I spoke to another visitor and she felt we have to keep complaining to the investigation team. I don't know what to do - I don't know if it's possible to turn staff attitudes and behaviour round by an investigation. I don't want to make things harder for my mum by complaining too often and I don't think they change their actions, they just say yes and do nothing. Should I try moving mum to another home, as she keeps telling me she doesn't like it where she is and seems to be getting lonely and slightly depressed. Sorry this is so long and thank you for reading
I'm looking for some advice and a bit of perspective - I don't know if I'm making more of my concerns than necessary.
My mum came out of hospital in September and into a carehome with nursing - she has Alzheimer's, macular degeneration, poor kidney function, chronic back and knee pain which has caused her to be immobile and need hoisting. She came out of hospital with a stage 3 bedsore in the area of her coccyx, this was almost healed up by her first carehome, it was too expensive to sustain and at the time the only home that could take mum. Once a place became available in a cheaper home we transferred her into it. It's a bigger, less personal home but it belongs to a group that prides itself on kindness. Initially, Despite my raising mums bedsore with staff and asking them how they were treating it, I got the impression that they weren't really doing much and mum was sat out on a chair without an aircushion most days for the first month. It was only from after Xmas that they starting giving her daily bedrest, as they said the bedsore had flared up. We're now into Feb and mum is still in bed almost everyday.
I have noticed my mum getting angry and a bit verbally aggressive recently - I put it down to her not getting much social interaction - which she thrives on., especially as she's blind. I've recently become aware of a lack of friendliness and the trademark kindness from staff towards my mum. I now she can come across as abrupt at times but every other place she's been the staff have always loved her.
Against all my concerns, the families were written to last week to inform them that a large scale investigation is happening, as there are various safeguarding concerns across the home. I emailed some of my concerns to the investigation team last week but no change yet.
Other concerns have been around personal care and faeces crusted in my mums nails and cuticles - she scratches the bedsore as it's itchy (sorry if it's TMI)
Today I went to visit, and my mum was in bed, a carer asked for a quick word with me and told me my mum had been angry and aggressive to her when turning her in bed, and she had told mum not to speak to her like this and she said if I hear anything from the nurse it's because of mums behaviour etc. I explained that this behaviour is only a recent thing and very likely related to her dementia and that my approach which works, is to use humour and jokes and she calms down (it's even set out as a strategy in mums notes) when I went into see mum she was lying facing the wall with the curtains drawn and very subdued, when she knew it was me she said she'd been shouted at and she wanted to leave "to go home" she said "I feel degraded" also her fingers and nails were covered in dried faeces I spoke to another visitor and she felt we have to keep complaining to the investigation team. I don't know what to do - I don't know if it's possible to turn staff attitudes and behaviour round by an investigation. I don't want to make things harder for my mum by complaining too often and I don't think they change their actions, they just say yes and do nothing. Should I try moving mum to another home, as she keeps telling me she doesn't like it where she is and seems to be getting lonely and slightly depressed. Sorry this is so long and thank you for reading
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