Mums carehome - my concerns

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by nellen, Feb 6, 2016.

  1. nellen

    nellen Registered User

    Mar 17, 2009
    96
    Derbyshire
    #1 nellen, Feb 6, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2016
    Hi I've not been on here for a few months as I just needed to get on with things and make sure my mum was ok. I hope people don't mind me only coming on when I'm looking for help advice.
    I'm looking for some advice and a bit of perspective - I don't know if I'm making more of my concerns than necessary.
    My mum came out of hospital in September and into a carehome with nursing - she has Alzheimer's, macular degeneration, poor kidney function, chronic back and knee pain which has caused her to be immobile and need hoisting. She came out of hospital with a stage 3 bedsore in the area of her coccyx, this was almost healed up by her first carehome, it was too expensive to sustain and at the time the only home that could take mum. Once a place became available in a cheaper home we transferred her into it. It's a bigger, less personal home but it belongs to a group that prides itself on kindness. Initially, Despite my raising mums bedsore with staff and asking them how they were treating it, I got the impression that they weren't really doing much and mum was sat out on a chair without an aircushion most days for the first month. It was only from after Xmas that they starting giving her daily bedrest, as they said the bedsore had flared up. We're now into Feb and mum is still in bed almost everyday.

    I have noticed my mum getting angry and a bit verbally aggressive recently - I put it down to her not getting much social interaction - which she thrives on., especially as she's blind. I've recently become aware of a lack of friendliness and the trademark kindness from staff towards my mum. I now she can come across as abrupt at times but every other place she's been the staff have always loved her.

    Against all my concerns, the families were written to last week to inform them that a large scale investigation is happening, as there are various safeguarding concerns across the home. I emailed some of my concerns to the investigation team last week but no change yet.
    Other concerns have been around personal care and faeces crusted in my mums nails and cuticles - she scratches the bedsore as it's itchy (sorry if it's TMI)

    Today I went to visit, and my mum was in bed, a carer asked for a quick word with me and told me my mum had been angry and aggressive to her when turning her in bed, and she had told mum not to speak to her like this and she said if I hear anything from the nurse it's because of mums behaviour etc. I explained that this behaviour is only a recent thing and very likely related to her dementia and that my approach which works, is to use humour and jokes and she calms down (it's even set out as a strategy in mums notes) when I went into see mum she was lying facing the wall with the curtains drawn and very subdued, when she knew it was me she said she'd been shouted at and she wanted to leave "to go home" she said "I feel degraded" also her fingers and nails were covered in dried faeces I spoke to another visitor and she felt we have to keep complaining to the investigation team. I don't know what to do - I don't know if it's possible to turn staff attitudes and behaviour round by an investigation. I don't want to make things harder for my mum by complaining too often and I don't think they change their actions, they just say yes and do nothing. Should I try moving mum to another home, as she keeps telling me she doesn't like it where she is and seems to be getting lonely and slightly depressed. Sorry this is so long and thank you for reading
     
  2. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    I am sorry that your mum is having such an awful time.
    She clearly as you say desperately needs company and stimulation and she isn't getting it and this is not helping any behaviour although I suspect her behaviour is triggered by the behaviour of the staff.

    The staff are behaving in a wholly unacceptable way. I would be looking for another care home asap.

    It is completely unacceptable for your mother to have faeces anywhere and indicates that they are leaving her in a state.

    I would put in writing your concerns but I wouldn't hang around waiting for improvements and the fact that you have been worried about stimulation shows it isn't going to change.

    if there is a safeguarding investigation going on stimulation will be low on their list of priorities.

    if your mum has been loved in previous homes then it isn't your mum and she is probably having an even more difficult time when you are not around.

    The fact that a carer took you to one side indicates to me that they realise that they are not behaving in a proper way.

    I think you have good reason to be worried and I would be phoning around tomorrow to find an alternative. Remember a lot of others will be doing the same in a home that clearly has problems so the quicker you get on to it the better chance you have of securing a place in a decent home.

    I have seen many many homes in action and those with these kind of issues take months to improve if they do.

    The investigations will be being done by the Care Quality Commission and you can phone them and report your concerns, please do
    I would also be reporting them to the local council adult safeguarding as they are not looking after your mum properly.

    My advice, move her asap.
     
  3. angelface

    angelface Registered User

    Oct 8, 2011
    1,086
    london
    Certainly you should kerp complaining to CQC, they should keep your complaints anonymous if you ask.

    But also look for another care home, doesn't sound as though this one will get any better :(
     
  4. nellen

    nellen Registered User

    Mar 17, 2009
    96
    Derbyshire
    Thank you for replying. I'm so angry and worried. I don't know if I'm expecting too much or making a fuss, but my gut instinct is telling me it's not right.

    My mum seems to have no dignity in this place. I loved going to her previous home but I hate going to this one - I try to be positive and optimistic and am as pleasant as I can to staff, my attitude being treat people how you expect them to treat you, but at best I get sweet talking smarminess and at worst I get hostility and a lot of fobbing off. It's a warehouse through which they process old frail vulnerable people. In her last home, ok it was £400s more a week, my mum was clean tidy dressed smartly and the staff went out of their way to be caring and kind and to chat to family so you felt like you the family were cared for too. The residents were in clusters of 8 people, based the Stirling university dementia friendly recommendations.

    You've made me realise how wrong this is for my mum and I want the best for her
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    I am so sorry
    I have been to homes where the price isn't high but the caring is wonderful - get her moved and you will feel instantly better and see a massive change in her.
    I'm afraid that many of these large homes are factories and I simply do not understand why they are being allowed to build institutions in this day and age.
    Just visit as many as you can as fast as you can, don't phone for an appointment just turn up and when you get a good feeling tell them the situation and ask for their help. A good home will help you with the move.
    You are doing the right thing even tho it is really hard
    keep posting we are all here to support you x
     
  6. nellen

    nellen Registered User

    Mar 17, 2009
    96
    Derbyshire
    Having slept on this (or not :) ) I'm going to make a big fuss about this to the manager tomorrow. And I'm going to start the process of moving mum. I've decided to take photos of mums dress and personal state too as well as a written record.

    I'm not having my mum treated like this. What gets me too is that even though there's a Large scale Investigation going on staff STILL carry on behaving in this manner with residents like it's ok to do - you'd have thought they might have moderated their behaviour because of the investigation

    I'm wondering what the procedure is for moving mum if she is funded by the county council and chc nursing care, can anyone advise me. The council picks up the £80 per week top up too. My instinct is to find somewhere else and tell them all that's what's happening and to sort it out but I guess I should follow procedures and do it properly.
     
  7. Pegsdaughter

    Pegsdaughter Registered User

    Oct 7, 2014
    129
    London
    With the evidence you have get the council's safeguarding team involved. Good luck


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  8. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    I would phone the local authority duty desk and ask for the safeguarding team. Tell them that you are not going to leave your mum in this home because she is unsafe and do not be moved - they will tell you all sorts about 'improvements'. Tell them that you are actively looking and that you would expect their support in this matter. Just stay calm, or it gives them the power, and be firm. This is really hard for you, we are here to support you x I would speak to safeguarding first and then to the manager although to be honest it doesn't make much difference which way round you do it xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  9. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Hi nellen :)

    Just a quick post to say that I agree with other posters. Your mum deserves much better than this. I'd speak to the safeguarding team about your concerns, and in any case be looking for another home for your mum. (I do think that larger homes can be okay as long as they have units within them, so I wouldn't rule these out).

    I hope you find somewhere reasonably quickly, so that you can start discussing the details of funding with the local authority as soon as possible.

    Wishing you all the best :)

    Lindy xx

    PS Taking photos as evidence is an excellent idea x
     
  10. pins tony

    pins tony Registered User

    Oct 20, 2014
    213
    bristol
    the best

    your Mum deserves the best.I found when I was looking for a new N H for my wife June social services told me because of cutbacks are choice of homes would be limited.I said David Cameron said were all in it together so we have the same as his wife would have .sorry the person that makes the most noise gets what they wants.i am normally a reasonable person but not if its effects Junes care take care and good luck xx
     
  11. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,497
    Female
    Near Southampton
    You say your mother is funded by the LA and CHC. This is strange as it's not usual for both to do so simultaneously. Whichever is paying the fees is the one you should approach both regarding the lack of appropriate care for your mother and for a move to another home. Both should take your concerns seriously and as there is already an issue regarding safeguarding then I think they will.

    The LA have the power to remove all residents whose fees they are responsible for from a home and in some cases this can result in a closure of the home. This has happened to homes owned by a supposedly caring company in this area over the past couple of years.

    Good luck and I hope you have a happier outcome for your poor mother.
     
  12. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,497
    Female
    Near Southampton
    It's not the size of the home that matters, it is the care given within them.
    Larger nursing homes are able to offer more facilities that small ones regarding numbers of nurses and aids etc. They can seem less personal but this can be l helped to some extent by the home being divided into smaller units with regular familiar staff.
    Nursing homes in this area all seem to be on the large side.
     
  13. nellen

    nellen Registered User

    Mar 17, 2009
    96
    Derbyshire
    Hi everyone who's replied to this thread. I've had a busy and productive day. I didn't sleep very well last night but despite this, I was very focused and determined today. I went to another carehome where coincidentally my mum worked years ago and they immediately remembered me as her daughter and said how much they liked her and were very understanding and sympathetic and quite shocked at what I told them about her treatment in this home. They have a place for her too!!

    I then went to the carehome and my mum was in a awful state crying and saying she was frightened of people in the night - it's probably hallucinations but I think it doesn't help her being left on her own for long periods of time and her imagination running riot. Or perhaps carers have startled her in the night?
    I met with the head nurse and told him of my complaint and that I was going to move mum as this place isn't suitable for her needs. He was very nice and agreed that this carers treatment of my mum was completely wrong and he is going going to investigate it and replay to me in a weeks time. I laid it on thick about bullying and neglect and that I was going to contact the safeguarding team if I don't see results .... So now I've to contact the social worker and work out finances and move mum.....
    Thank you - I really value your advice and support :) :)
     
  14. tigerlady

    tigerlady Registered User

    Nov 29, 2015
    427
    I cant really advise you about the correct procedure. When my husband was in a bad home (incidentally the only one on the CHC list of suitable homes that they would fund which had a vacancy) I made so much fuss, in the end saying I would have to take him home until somewhere better became available. They must have pulled some strings to enable him to jump the waiting list of a really nice one I had tried to get him in before, because all of a sudden a place was available for him.

    If your mother is funded by the council and the CHC, they must be informed so that they can stop the payments to the bad home, and confirm that they will fund her in the new one. I would hate to think that they didnt stop the payments to this bad home. I would hope that any contract they had with them stating that they must give a certain amount of notice would be made invalid due to it being under investigation.
     
  15. Missy

    Missy Registered User

    Dec 18, 2006
    71
    Not a Four Seasons Home is it??
     
  16. tigerlady

    tigerlady Registered User

    Nov 29, 2015
    427
    No - it was a small chain of homes.
     
  17. Eternity

    Eternity Registered User

    Jul 17, 2013
    226
    London
    Nellen,

    I hope you can get your mum moved soon. She shouldn't have to feel scared or degraded. If you can explain the situation to social services/CHC too to get their support, I'm sure the move to the new care home will happen soon.

    Good luck with getting everything sorted out.

    Thank you for posting too - we are going through something similar and it helps to know we are not alone (although I wish no one in care had to go through this)
     

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