Mum's Birthday and Feeling a little sad

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Mameeskye, Oct 25, 2007.

  1. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    Today was Mum's Birthday and also the fourth anniversary of her admittance to hospital after which she never went home.

    The day started badly as the home rang my mobile (which caused me to panic) to ask about her flu jab which when she had her last TIA the Home staff had discussed with us whether to give or not. We had not made up our minds but I said yes, give it to her as...well I cannot think of it as a life extension method, rather an avoiding something horrible thing. I would also hate for her to get flu and survive in her current or worse state. I don't know why I just felt that it was wrong to withold this.

    Whilst I was glad that she was here and she did enjoy her chocolate birthday cake, I was also sad as this year she really paid no attention to cards or presents. Always in the past she has shown some emotion. This year it was flat.

    Luckily I have been busy this afternoon at the boys open night at the school which was good so now is the first time I have had to feel again. Thought I would just write and get it off my I need my bed.


  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Mameeskye

    Well done for getting it off your chest.

    These special occasions are so hard, they mean so much to us, and it's so upsetting to know that our loved ones cannot appreciate the significance.

    Can't help, I'm afraid, but I do know how you feel.

    Love and hugs,
  3. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005

    Glad you were able to post about your Mum's birthday - it is sad but just thinking about you. Good thing is you are still positive about your sons open night - hope that went well and manged to get your thoughts away from your Mum for a short time.

    Best wishes Jan
  4. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Sending a special hug.......this is for mum as well on her special day.

    Wish I could make the sadness go away.

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  5. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    leigh lancashire
    Dear Mameeskye,nothing less than respect and good elainewx
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Mameeskye

    Of course you were upset that your mother was unable to recognize her birthday today, it`s another downwards step.

    You just have to get through it as well as you can and be glad of distractions.

    As one generation fades, another generation flourishes. The circle of life.

    Love xx
  7. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Dear Mameeskye,

    I can understand your sadness and sympathise with you. I think the flu shot is wise as there were a few nasty outbreaks here last winter with lives lost.

    I am glad you enjoyed your son's open night and hope that you woke up feeling better. Regards Taffy.
  8. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    My dear Mameeskye,


    I understand your disappointment - it's such a natural thing to want your mum to be able to enjoy her birthday and feel the love you all have for her.

    As Sylvia says it's the circle of life. I find it so strange that the part of my daughters brain that is currently developing and helping her to feel new emotion and develop her language is the same part of my mum that is deteriotating and causes her to lose her language and empathy skills.

    I think you were quite right in allowing the flu jab.

  9. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007

    Thank you for the support and hugs. Feel better today..just another of those in your face elements of the illness that make you realise how much more is lost.

    Kate, I so know what you mean about watching your Mum regress as your daughter develops. I used to feel this very strongly too but my sons at just coming up 6 are now so far ahead of my Mum.

    Sylvia you are so right about the circle of life. It is so so true..but although I accept that there is still a certain poignancy in moments that make the actual shape so clear. For me, there is always the strange juxtaposition of memories, children. Mum as she was and is and possibly will be.

    I am luckier than some in that I am a lot further down the road of grief with this illness, with a Mum who is mostly content with who she now is. For the most part I have also accepted but days like that bring the grief back, just as occasionally I have a pang for my Father who passed away almost 10 years ago.

    Thank you all for being there.



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