Mum's apt on Tuesday.

Onmyown

Registered User
May 30, 2017
385
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After 4 years battling to get mum to the geriatrician and getting this apt the social worker informed me that my mother dosnt want me to go as she claims when we are at the doctors I "talk over her?" this is absolute rubbish I sit there and say nothing until the doc asks me things or I explain to mum what the doc has said. I've been to mums doc on my own several times to discuss her moods behaviour etc. I know my mum is saying this as she's afraid illI tell the truth .I've waited so long to finally speak to a geriatrician about her behaviour etc and now my brother is taking her? So now if geriatrician wants to know about her care behaviour what is my brother going to tell him that shes fine and turn it into a bitching session about me? If im not allowed go even though im her carer24/7 could I insist that the geriatrician speak only to mum and not to have my brother present? It's going to set all this back years now and they need to know her behaviour is typical of dementia? So fed up with this and feel the medical profession are not taking my concerns seriously. Mum is playing everyone and I'm so sick of this Brother desperate to get rid of me and out of the house and mum in a home? Please advise found sw very abusive to me and very disrespectful as mums carer for 9yrs. Siblings couldn't careless about poor mum just want her in a home so they dont have to care for her shes just a burden to them.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
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Scotland
Write a letter to her geriatrician with all the points you want to make and then take a back seat and leave the appt to your brother. It doesn't really matter what he says about you if anything because the appt is to assess your mother and not you. The consultant will have seen and heard it all before.
 

Onmyown

Registered User
May 30, 2017
385
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Write a letter to her geriatrician with all the points you want to make and then take a back seat and leave the appt to your brother. It doesn't really matter what he says about you if anything because the appt is to assess your mother and not you. The consultant will have seen and heard it all before.
Yes this is a good idea just ashame can't get the letter to her by Tuesday?
 

Havemercy

Registered User
Oct 8, 2012
157
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Yes this is a good idea just ashame can't get the letter to her by Tuesday?
Ring the consultant's secretary on Monday morning and ask for the consultant's e-mail address - you can then email her/him so the information will be available for mum's appointment. Try to keep it concise - facts and to the point. Best of luck.
 

Onmyown

Registered User
May 30, 2017
385
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Ring the consultant's secretary on Monday morning and ask for the consultant's e-mail address - you can then email her/him so the information will be available for mum's appointment. Try to keep it concise - facts and to the point. Best of luck.
OK thanks ill try but I don't do think its that easy to get hold of these people? Also not being next of kin dosnt help?
 

tryingmybest

Registered User
May 22, 2015
638
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If you can't get the GPs email address get the Practice Managers and ask him/her to forward it as a matter of urgency.
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
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OK thanks ill try but I don't do think its that easy to get hold of these people? Also not being next of kin dosnt help?
You might be able to find an email address by looking online, I was able to email an oncologist prior to my mums appointment by looking at the hospital website. If you could do this tomorrow ( Sunday) the email would be waiting for him on Mobday morning.

When my mother was assessed by a consultant, I was present but not allowed to contribute as obviously he was there to assess Mum and the tests she did were designed to suss out any problems. I doubt your brother will get the chance to change the results of the assessment.
 

Onmyown

Registered User
May 30, 2017
385
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You might be able to find an email address by looking online, I was able to email an oncologist prior to my mums appointment by looking at the hospital website. If you could do this tomorrow ( Sunday) the email would be waiting for him on Mobday morning.

When my mother was assessed by a consultant, I was present but not allowed to contribute as obviously he was there to assess Mum and the tests she did were designed to suss out any problems. I doubt your brother will get the chance to change the results of the assessment.
Thanks. I went with mum years ago to this particular woman mum went in on her own and after i asked to speak to her as i had concerns about her and she put her hand in my face and said I'm not talking to you? Rudest doc ive ever met. Be great if she put her hand in my brothers face? Not holding out much hope for anything different except the usual rubbish that her mini mental test is quite high. That's why it's so important to know about her behaviour but will just see what happens? Just so fed up with mums constant games.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
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Ireland
That's odd, @Onmyown . My husband's consultant always made sure he spoke to accompanying relatives, as he said that was the only way he could build a full picture of the situation.
 

Onmyown

Registered User
May 30, 2017
385
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That's odd, @Onmyown . My husband's consultant always made sure he spoke to accompanying relatives, as he said that was the only way he could build a full picture of the situation.
Well mum must have told her not to speak to me but yes odd? After that she was seeing a lovely geriatrician and he has the utmost respect for carers but she missed her 2015apt with him and I've literally being trying to get her back to him but now hes full and she has to go to this one. IveI heard she is very good with the eldetly but dosnt treat carers with much respect?? Apparently there is a huge shortage of gerigeriatri in this area?