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Mummy

laurag86

New member
Jul 6, 2018
1
0
Im at a loss as to how to help my mum. The early onset diagnosis was around 8 yrs avo and she managed well with carers in the home. Weve now had to place mum in a care homa and when i visited today with partner and 3 kids she didnt knkw me. Shes not esting and im just a mess sirry
 

Marler19

Registered User
May 16, 2021
42
0
It’s SO hard @laurag86 but I am sure the care home will have many ways to help her and encourage her about eating. It’s quite possible mum will know you next time. Dementia is progressive though, and I have found that so so hard myself. My mum, now in a care home, thinks I am her granddaughter and tells me she regularly speaks to her own mother (dead for 52 years). All you can do is reassure yourself mum is in the right place with people who care about her. I am so sorry for your situation and send good wishes.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
5,541
0
Essex
Im at a loss as to how to help my mum. The early onset diagnosis was around 8 yrs avo and she managed well with carers in the home. Weve now had to place mum in a care homa and when i visited today with partner and 3 kids she didnt knkw me. Shes not esting and im just a mess sirry
Could she have a UTI?

MaNaAk
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,956
0
Yorkshire
hello @laurag86
a warm welcome to DTP
I'm sorry you are so upset ... and hope you did get some sleep last night ... it's not easy making the transition from being hands on carer to your mum to finding a different routine and relationship

it may be that your mum was just having one of those days ... have a chat with the staff; don't be worried about sharing your concerns and thoughts with them ... I found that the staff in dad's care home were happy to talk with me and we built up a good relationship over the years, which helped set my mind at rest as I knew I would get honest answers to any questions I put to them
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
1,625
0
Newcastle
This can be hard to adjust to @laurag86 Recognising close relatives can become somewhat haphazard and even a simple change can affect this. My wife and I once visited my Mam and she clearly had no idea who we were. I suggested that she went along the corridor to where we usually sat. Seconds later we followed to be met with a smile and a greeting as though we had just arrived. Whether she knew exactly who we were I don't know but she recognised enough that she felt happy and safe.

Now, with my wife in care, I have given up worrying whether she knows who I am. Sometimes she does but at other times I am her Dad. It really does not matter so long as she is comfortable in my presence.

By your words, smiles and actions you can let your Mum know that she is important and loved. She may not always be able to process who you are or come out with the right name. But, by giving her your reassurance you will maintain the bond between you.
 

Manda jane

New member
Sep 21, 2021
2
0
so sorry for your upset, its just the hardest thing to deal with, just a suggestion, would you be able to visit alone next time, and spend some time pampering her or having tea and cakes, only reason i suggest is, we never know what we are going into when visiting mum so always go with some kind of distraction, painting mums nails, a foot rub and always flowers or cakes, she at times doesnt know i am her daugther but it makes a nice visit and she gets used to knowing she is loved, if that makes sense. good luck sending thoughts x
 

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