Registered User
Apr 11, 2006
Beckenham Kent
Went to see mum this afternoon. The sister on duty said she was in bed as she had an upset tummy. I went up to her room and she was asleep but looked very grey with sunken eyes and so gaunt.

She does still recognise me but is very confused and repeats everything over and over. I think she has given up and has lost the will to live. She has never really been 'happy' in the home, in the way some of the residents are and I think she has decided that enough is enough.

I don't want to lose my dear mum but I certainly do not want her to linger in this state for long. We both watched dad fade away over a period of time in a NH and that was very painful. It's a bit like deja vu.

I'd like to wish you all a Happy New Year and hope that 2008 is better than 2007. My best wishes. Sheila

Linda Mc

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
Nr Mold
Hi Sheila

I was sad to read your post and just wanted to send you a big hug and let you know others are thinking of you. It must be so difficult to see your dear mum like that.

I wish you peace in 2008.

Love Linda x


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
It is so sad to hear how your Mum is and I do understand your feelings. I hope 2008 is a good year for you and that all goes well for your Mum (hard to express feelings here but hope you understand).

Take care Jan

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
she was asleep but looked very grey with sunken eyes and so gaunt.
. Sheila
Hello Sheila.

That statement brings back sad memories. It`s as if you want to give them permission to go. I know how upsetting it must have been for you.

Love xx

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
North Derbyshire
Hi Sheila,

Don't give up just yet, love. If your mum has had a tummy bug it will have drained her and sapped her strength and concentration, a few days more might see a great improvement. These old people have a knack of rallying round once the problem is solved, so it is early days yet to be thinking that your mum has had enough.

My mum had had enough almost as soon as my dad died 3 years ago, she hasn't enjoyed life since. For the first couple of years she did as he had told her to do, keep going to church, join the old ladies afternoon club, keep having your hair done, and she did. But not cos she wanted to, cos he had told her to. And now she has AD and has had so many infections this last two months I could cry, she really has had enough. She looks ten years older than when she went into the home in August. The staff are all lovely with her, the place isn't perfect (I don't think she has had a bath in 3 weeks, I can tell cos her finger nails are dirty, and like me, I can only get my finger nails scrupulously clean in the bath or after washing my hair in the shower) and she is weary and totally disinterested in anything. But she definitely still knows me and my daughters so although she is bored out of her skull we have to keep it all going.

I hope your mum improves soon, but I know what you mean, my mum has never been happy in the home, some have accepted it but mum is constantly saying she will be looking for a little bungalow soon as she doesn't like it there.

Eeh, I can't advise any more Sheiila. Hang on in there, and we are all here to help if you want to come back and tell us how things are.

Much love



Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Daer Sheila,

I am sorry to hear your mum is unwell and can also understand your feelings. Caring Thoughts Taffy.


Registered User
Mar 20, 2007
Hello Sheila.

Reading your post, is like looking into the VERY near future and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

I try to keep as positive as possible and keep telling myself 'What will be will be'.

My silent prayers have gone unanswered, but I live in hope.
I hope that your Mum will soon find the peace she is looking for.

God Bless and I hope 2008 is kind to you all.

Love Janetruth x