Mum won't Eat - inevitable consequence
- Thread starter Lynne
- Start date
Sunday 31st Aug
Well, a sociable day for Mum, though sadly her expected visitors or activities are all delusional.
At 5am, she told me she would have to hurry up & get ready to go on duty for 6am on Bell-Jones Ward. Would I make sure her shoes were polished?
(I think I was her sister Joan at this point, they worked together & shared rooms for some years - and famously broke 'lights out' & curfews left, right & centre!)
At 11.30 'had I peeled the potatoes' as Dad would be home from the allotment for lunch in an hour or so. He would be bringing some broccoli & carrots.
At 2.30 she asked if we were going to Hadleigh to visit her sister & her new baby (that 'baby' is now 32, with a toddler of her own).
This evening, she reminded me that she had an evening class tomorrow.
She's got more energy then I have!(in her dreams) although that wouldn't be hard. we were up about every hour last night, often just 'what time is it?', a couple of times for a waltz to the commode, and just general restlessness. Good job I could go back to bed myself to top up on lost sleep. I put Mike off coming over today, just so lethargic, should have washed my hair this morning but...
The good news is he has a week off work, and has volunteered to bring his hedge trimmer & lawn rake over, and give the back hedge a seeing to! And I will be able to see a bit of him for the first time for weeks.
Well, a sociable day for Mum, though sadly her expected visitors or activities are all delusional.
At 5am, she told me she would have to hurry up & get ready to go on duty for 6am on Bell-Jones Ward. Would I make sure her shoes were polished?
(I think I was her sister Joan at this point, they worked together & shared rooms for some years - and famously broke 'lights out' & curfews left, right & centre!)
At 11.30 'had I peeled the potatoes' as Dad would be home from the allotment for lunch in an hour or so. He would be bringing some broccoli & carrots.
At 2.30 she asked if we were going to Hadleigh to visit her sister & her new baby (that 'baby' is now 32, with a toddler of her own).
This evening, she reminded me that she had an evening class tomorrow.
She's got more energy then I have!(in her dreams) although that wouldn't be hard. we were up about every hour last night, often just 'what time is it?', a couple of times for a waltz to the commode, and just general restlessness. Good job I could go back to bed myself to top up on lost sleep. I put Mike off coming over today, just so lethargic, should have washed my hair this morning but...
The good news is he has a week off work, and has volunteered to bring his hedge trimmer & lawn rake over, and give the back hedge a seeing to! And I will be able to see a bit of him for the first time for weeks.
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Dear Lynne,
Have a good time next week.
When Mike is finished please may I borrow him?
Love from
Christine
Have a good time next week.
When Mike is finished please may I borrow him?
Love from
Christine
Truly inspirational!
Lynne, I have no meaningful advice or comments to make I just wanted to say that your posts have touched my heart and I think you are truly inspirational with your dedication and love for your mother. My thoughts are with you in your daily efforts to make your mother's life a better one. xx
Lynne, I have no meaningful advice or comments to make I just wanted to say that your posts have touched my heart and I think you are truly inspirational with your dedication and love for your mother. My thoughts are with you in your daily efforts to make your mother's life a better one. xx
1st & 2nd Sept
Very little to report. Mum sleeping quite deeply all day, her breathing quite harsh at times. She quite often has a problem breathing clearly; sometimes coughing up phlegm & able to spit it out into a tissue, other times she cannot cough strongly enough to clear it.
Still eating nothing, and now drinking less. I am still encouraging her to do so, but she's so weak now that she doesn't want to sit up & drink. A week ago I would have said she couldn't get any thinner, but now her face has changed shape and she looks like a concentration camp victim. I think her gums are shrinking, as her dentures are now loose-fitting & rubbing in places. She used to wear them 24/7, but now I encourage her to leave them out at night. I am using some Daktarin gel on her gums.
Mentally she is just about hanging in there, but once or twice has said to me "where's Lynne?" or "Is Lynne here?"
She frequently asks 'where am I?' and can't tell night & day apart. This may be partly because she has a light on in her room all night, so is no longer experiencing darkness.
The last 2 days I haven't been able to give her her nightly meds (including Aricept) as she just couldn't swallow them.
As for myself & the night-sitters, I have been told that I have been booked for 8th & 10th Sept (which is next week). I have now adopted the habit of going back to bed after breakfast, to top up with a couple of hours sleep when possible.
It's 3 weeks since the Social Worker was here to re-assess our needs.
Still no feed-back; perhaps they are hoping she'll die before they actually get around to doing anything.
For 2 pins I could tell them to stick their 'caring' where the sun don't shine, and quite possibly will.
Very little to report. Mum sleeping quite deeply all day, her breathing quite harsh at times. She quite often has a problem breathing clearly; sometimes coughing up phlegm & able to spit it out into a tissue, other times she cannot cough strongly enough to clear it.
Still eating nothing, and now drinking less. I am still encouraging her to do so, but she's so weak now that she doesn't want to sit up & drink. A week ago I would have said she couldn't get any thinner, but now her face has changed shape and she looks like a concentration camp victim. I think her gums are shrinking, as her dentures are now loose-fitting & rubbing in places. She used to wear them 24/7, but now I encourage her to leave them out at night. I am using some Daktarin gel on her gums.
Mentally she is just about hanging in there, but once or twice has said to me "where's Lynne?" or "Is Lynne here?"
She frequently asks 'where am I?' and can't tell night & day apart. This may be partly because she has a light on in her room all night, so is no longer experiencing darkness.
The last 2 days I haven't been able to give her her nightly meds (including Aricept) as she just couldn't swallow them.
As for myself & the night-sitters, I have been told that I have been booked for 8th & 10th Sept (which is next week). I have now adopted the habit of going back to bed after breakfast, to top up with a couple of hours sleep when possible.
It's 3 weeks since the Social Worker was here to re-assess our needs.
Still no feed-back; perhaps they are hoping she'll die before they actually get around to doing anything.
For 2 pins I could tell them to stick their 'caring' where the sun don't shine, and quite possibly will.
Dear Lynne,
Sending you hugs and prayers to get through all this.
At least your Mum knows your name. I only wished Peter knew mine.
Take care
God Bless
Christine
Sending you hugs and prayers to get through all this.
At least your Mum knows your name. I only wished Peter knew mine.
Take care
God Bless
Christine
Lynne said:
This is so unfair inexcusable really. You would think that every thing possible in the way of support would be made available and regular follow ups to make sure you were not struggling. No wonder your so disillusioned. I sympathise with you, not that, that does anything to help your cause. Caring Thoughts, Taffy.
Lynne, nothing much to say, except to send you huge hugs.
You are doing a wonderful job of caring for your mum, despite SWs!
You shouldn't have to wait until next week for night sitters, that's too bad.
I hope you have all the strength you need.
Love,
You are doing a wonderful job of caring for your mum, despite SWs!
You shouldn't have to wait until next week for night sitters, that's too bad.
I hope you have all the strength you need.
Love,
Hello Lynne,
You're doing a grand job, there, pet.
I know you don't want admiration...but you've got it!
Hope you're managing to spend some time with Mike while he's around.
Thinking of you..and your mum..
Love gigi xx
You're doing a grand job, there, pet.
I know you don't want admiration...but you've got it!
Hope you're managing to spend some time with Mike while he's around.
Thinking of you..and your mum..
Love gigi xx
Hi Lynne
Your posts bring tears to my eyes. I know this is a hard time for you but it is time that you will never regret spending with your Mum.
Like you I was thought Mum skinny and was shocked when the NH home staff told me that she still had at least a stone she could lose.
As for SWS and night sitters the situation is atrocious. I lay bets that if your Mum had a MacMillan Nurse and had cancer that you would probably not have the same hassle getting pallitaive care. If however you need a break my suggestion is to have a rant at your GP, who might know of local services who can help.
Hugs to you and your Mum at this sad sad time
Love
Mameeskye
Your posts bring tears to my eyes. I know this is a hard time for you but it is time that you will never regret spending with your Mum.
Like you I was thought Mum skinny and was shocked when the NH home staff told me that she still had at least a stone she could lose.
As for SWS and night sitters the situation is atrocious. I lay bets that if your Mum had a MacMillan Nurse and had cancer that you would probably not have the same hassle getting pallitaive care. If however you need a break my suggestion is to have a rant at your GP, who might know of local services who can help.
Hugs to you and your Mum at this sad sad time
Love
Mameeskye
Final Chapter
Just to let you know that my Mum died this afternoon, 3/9/08.
She had been fine this morning, talking sleepily but lucidly, and this afternoon I took her in a cup of tea, helped her sit up in bed.
She had a seizure, similar to previous ones, but this time she didn't come out of it. As dying goes, probably almost as 'good' as it gets.
I don't think she knew much about it and she died in my arms.
Thank you for all your support.
Just to let you know that my Mum died this afternoon, 3/9/08.
She had been fine this morning, talking sleepily but lucidly, and this afternoon I took her in a cup of tea, helped her sit up in bed.
She had a seizure, similar to previous ones, but this time she didn't come out of it. As dying goes, probably almost as 'good' as it gets.
I don't think she knew much about it and she died in my arms.
Thank you for all your support.
Dear Lynne
I am so so sorry but how wonderful that you were there to hold her.
Very sad for you.
Love
I am so so sorry but how wonderful that you were there to hold her.
Very sad for you.
Love
Dear Lynne
I'm so sorry.
You have been a wonderful daughter, and you were there to hold her at the end. Your mum died knowing how much she was loved, and none of us can ask for more than that.
I hope you have Mike with you for company, but you know you can post whenever you need support.
Love,
I'm so sorry.
You have been a wonderful daughter, and you were there to hold her at the end. Your mum died knowing how much she was loved, and none of us can ask for more than that.
I hope you have Mike with you for company, but you know you can post whenever you need support.
Love,
