Mum with early stage Alzheimers

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by JAMMYC, Jun 21, 2019.

  1. JAMMYC

    JAMMYC New member

    Jun 21, 2019
    4
    Hello,

    I'm here because my Mum, approx 6 months ago was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers. We noticed she wasn't herself when my Dad was admitted to hospital and has been there for the past 8 months. She was forgetful, lacked empathy and just kept repeating things that had happened. Anyhow, since the diagnosis things appear to have gotten worse, whether this is the stress of Dad being in hospital or just how Alzheimers progresses we don't know.

    I really want some advice because I would say at the moment she is somewhat delusional. My Brother was always the favourite (in my eyes) but lately she is accusing him of all sorts. Taking things, pinching her post, money, going into their house when shes out. He isn't. 100% isn't. I've even set up a security camera near the front door so I can show her no-one has been in. She doesn't believe it! She is currently taking Memantine and it worked at first then she decided to stop and things went completely AWOL. She was threatening to go to the police about my brother so I asked her to go to see her Doctor which, thankfully she did and she is now back on the tablets.

    I think as a family we really aren't coping very well especially with the issue of mistrust with my Brother. I'm trying to be the one in the middle and I'm just getting sworn at and the phone put down. I simply can't get my head around the no rationalisation part. We end up arguing and she shouts and gets angry.

    We see someone at the Memory Clinic beginning of July but the last time we seen them they said they would see her again and all being well on the tablets they will discharge her. I feel like there is no support.

    Please can someone give me some advice on what to do and will this stage pass? Thank you x
     
  2. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    847
    Welcome. Delusions of this kind are very common and are probably diagnostic of dementia in itself . You'll find lots of threads on this topic. Not easy to deal with, however. Sadly, for my mother-in-law, it was never a stage, it was always there. I'm sure others will be along soon with better advice
     
  3. JAMMYC

    JAMMYC New member

    Jun 21, 2019
    4
    Thank you very much for responding to my post. Any information is helpful thank you x
     
  4. Rach1985

    Rach1985 Registered User

    Jun 9, 2019
    314
    We found with my dad who is also on memantine and in early stages/mild is that one of the biggest issues was hydration
    Back in March he became delusional and absolutely convinced it was 2004 and he had to go to work and run his business but that he didn’t want to anymore and it was time for him to pack it up. This came out of nowhere and was very hard to deal with. We didn’t know what to do and 111 told us to keep giving him water. In the end with plenty of water he came back to normal, or his normal now, and has absolutely no recollection of that 4 hours of his life.
    Now when he starts to forget me and starts calling me the lady I say to him dad when did you last have a drink? Do you fancy one?
    It’s only an idea but we have found he is simply forgetting to drink and he gets dehydrated and confused
     
  5. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,326
    Female
    As Rosettastone has said, this is quite common. You will not be able to talk your mum out of this, she won't respond to logic or evidence, she genuinely believes it. I know it's distressing for the family but it must also be quite scary for her.

    The best thing is not to try to prove to her she's wrong - you won't be able to, and arguing about it will just upset both of you. It is very difficult when one of the family is being accused but this link might help you think about how you can approach it differently.

    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
     
  6. JAMMYC

    JAMMYC New member

    Jun 21, 2019
    4
    Thank you so much for your message. I will look out for the dehydration x
     
  7. Rach1985

    Rach1985 Registered User

    Jun 9, 2019
    314
    Like I said it might not be that, we are still new to this too, but he is terrible at not drinking now so just an idea to look out for
     
  8. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    2,668
    Nottinghamshire
    Even if it's not dehydration that's causing the problem I agree with @Rach1985 it's always a good place to start. My dad used to get much more confused when he was dehydrated and if something as simple as a drink can help that's great. I think it's something that's easy to overlook. We drink when we're thirsty PWD don't always know they are.
     

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