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Mum with dementia


Registered User
Mar 26, 2014
Hi my 86 year old Mum has just been diagnosed with dementia, I am the only child aged (62)and live 45 mins drive away, I am finding it hard to come to terms but have known in my own mind this might have been the problem over the last few months. Can any one advise how I can tackle the problem of Mum ringing me 20/30 times lind line and mobile a day and through the night. I really dont mind but up until a few months ago mums telephone bill was between £50/70 a quarter now its rising to almost £200 a quarter. I talk to her about it and the answer I get is "well I can afford it" I have a care plan being put into place as like I expect many other people she is forgetting to change her clothes, and when she does the dirty ones go back into a drawer. I have never had to go through anything like this before and I get upset and sometimes frustrated as I do not know how to handle situations. Any help would be welcome.


Registered User
Sep 7, 2014
Hi it is really difficult to deal with the things that they do. My mum used to ring the tv engineer nearly every day because she couldn't change the channels and every time he came he would charge her. She was simply not pointing the remote at the tv. When I rang the engineer he said mum was so insistent that he had to come and she would say it was her money and still believed there was a problem with the tv.
It is hard to control any spending because it is presumed she has capacity ???
Sorry I can't help but we are here to listen.


Registered User
Jul 19, 2014
She is probably lonely and frightened. Does she have a button? If no get a pendant or wrist button. In an emergency she can press it and you can turn the phone off at night and when you want peace. Give button people a different number (SIM card on a cheap phone) so you can be contacted in the event of a fall etc. if she presses it too frequently then they may contact Social services for you.
I would start to really think about her living arrangements. If frightened it is not fair for her to be alone. Do you want to care for her-move her to you. Alternatively extra sheltered housing or CH may be nicer for her. Re washing. She needs help from you or a carer to help her with washing and choice of clean clothes. You willt hennaed to wash her clothes. It took a while but I have a very good regime going and personal care is rarely refused. I think routine is so important for dementias. Hope someone else will come along with better ideas.


Registered User
Oct 18, 2014
Limit the costs

We have same phone problems. Both in-laws have severe dementia. When Mum gets a "bee in her bonnet" she phones incessantly. We either answer or listen into our answer service depending on the situation, but we have limited the costs by switching them into an unlimited calls package. Around £5 a month is worth paying to cap call costs when Mum can call up to 50 times a day (then has days with no calls at all). Hopefully your Mum will gradually accept help from the carers, making her less worried, and thus she may make less calls for help.