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Mum with dementia obsessed with money

sparkle1959

New member
Feb 28, 2020
1
Hi my mum is in a care home and is constantly wanting money in her purse, she is obsessed with money, a friend does take her out sometimes and she insists she "needs " money, i am not supposed to let her have a lot in the care home, she does have an account there for essentials, i am fed up of the constant arguments every time i visit it is all she talks about, i am at the end of my tether, what should i do. She carries her handbag with her in the home but regularly leaves it on backs of chairs etc., she will lose it eventually. I don't have power of attorney i am having to fudge my way through all this , but have i any right to say "no" really, and should i just give her about £500 to " shut her up" please i don;t know what to say next :-(
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,623
South coast
Hello @sparkle1959 and welcome to DTP.

I think this is a common obsession. People with dementia often have enough memory to remember that it is important to have money, but not enough to know how it all works.
The solution that many people have found is to use fake or play money. You can get them quite cheaply on the internet. I used to use paper napkins with £10 notes printed on them. I have heard of someone who photocopied real money then pasted the 2 sides together. You wouldnt think that these things would work - but they do.
 

Lorna44

Registered User
Jul 16, 2016
188
Surrey
It's not really safe for her to have that sort amount, as you say it would probably go missing.
My mum was the same, and was always complaining that she didn't have any money, so the home photocopied some notes for her, and used 'toy' money, and it kept her happy. Would that work? X
 
Dec 29, 2019
1
Hi my mum is in a care home and is constantly wanting money in her purse, she is obsessed with money, a friend does take her out sometimes and she insists she "needs " money, i am not supposed to let her have a lot in the care home, she does have an account there for essentials, i am fed up of the constant arguments every time i visit it is all she talks about, i am at the end of my tether, what should i do. She carries her handbag with her in the home but regularly leaves it on backs of chairs etc., she will lose it eventually. I don't have power of attorney i am having to fudge my way through all this , but have i any right to say "no" really, and should i just give her about £500 to " shut her up" please i don;t know what to say next :-(
[/QUOTE
Hi, my grandma's having similar problems. She constantly withdrawing money from her bank account. She withdrew a total of £500 with 3 separate transactions in the space of about 2 weeks! Then if you check in her purse she'll have old money mixed in there as well. She sometimes asks which ones are current but most of the time you just have to fish out the old coins and hope that whenever she goes out she doesn't hand over shillings to pay for things! Its quite tricky because she is at the stage where she still wants her independence but she no longer understands the value of money. We have been looking into giving her an allowance so she's able to access so much money a week. In the future though having fake or "monopoly" money could be something we look into. As for saying "no" you definitely have a right to say it. After all it's in your mum's best interests even if she can no longer understand that. In addition, I thinkpowet of attorney is definitely something you should look into, sooner rather than later as it usually takes about 10 weeks to go through. I hope this helps x