So glad I stumbled on this website...3 weeks ago my 84 year old mum went into a care home. I had to drop her at the gate due to Covid restrictions. I have not seen her room or hugged her since that day. I am an only child and cared for her in her own home with the help of carers four times a day. As mums dementia got worse she was forgetting to drink and had several UTIs and was very frightened and unhappy. She left the tap on and flooded the house. She rang me 20 times a day and no matter how often I went to the house it was never enough. The carers kept calling me as she only wanted me. I work full time, have a husband and 2 grown up children. She had lived in the house 53 years and begged me not to make her leave.
I expected it to be hard, but I wasn’t prepared for how I am feeling. She cries when I ring her in the home and I have been allowed to visit in the garden this week from 2 metres but she is deaf so can’t hear me so she just cries. She doesn’t know why I have “put her in there” she thinks she was fine at home.
I’m in bits, it was consuming me before but this is just awful. When I call the home they tell me she is ok but she is troubled by some of the aggressive patients so sits in her room some days. However she is eating and drinking and sleeping well. And they are good people.
I just want to drive there and scoop her up and bring her home but I know it can’t happen. I just hope someone can tell me it might get slightly easier.
I expected it to be hard, but I wasn’t prepared for how I am feeling. She cries when I ring her in the home and I have been allowed to visit in the garden this week from 2 metres but she is deaf so can’t hear me so she just cries. She doesn’t know why I have “put her in there” she thinks she was fine at home.
I’m in bits, it was consuming me before but this is just awful. When I call the home they tell me she is ok but she is troubled by some of the aggressive patients so sits in her room some days. However she is eating and drinking and sleeping well. And they are good people.
I just want to drive there and scoop her up and bring her home but I know it can’t happen. I just hope someone can tell me it might get slightly easier.