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Mum with Alzheimer’s gone into a care home

Paddybelle1

New member
Mar 31, 2020
6
Hi everyone, has anyone got any tips on how to deal with my mums confusion, who has recently gone to live in a care home (2 weeks). The home has said that she continually asks to go home and has she done something wrong and why is she there. I have visited her twice, outside her window and she asks me the same questions. When I explain that this is her new home and she is safe here and looked after she happily accepts this, as when asked about living in a care home, she said yes she wanted to, but of course it is all forgotten again 5 mins later. I’m sure she will settle after a couple of months but is honesty the best policy, I think so, whereas my brother tells her she is on holiday as he says she forgets anyway. Just wondered what views or advice you may have, thanks
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,525
Hi @Paddybelle1 and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. You'll find lots of help and advice here. This thread Compassionate COmmunication with the Memory Impaired might give you some tips on distracting your mum. I'd say whatever works to keep her happy is best. Agree she can go home in a bit when work is finished on the house, that she's there to gain some strength, whatever you think will make sense to her in the moment. Trying to reason doesn't work as I know to my cost!
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,447
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Paulines elder sister also had Alzheimer’s and was in a care home for 8 years before she passed away and demanded to go home every day. She had no idea where home was or who was who but the question just stuck.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,425
Bedford
I told Mum she was in the care home to try it out to see if she liked it. When she said she wanted to go home I said ‘well you are all paid up for the next 4 weeks so you might as well stay’. The end of the 4 weeks never came ...
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,939
South coast
I told mum she was convalescing and she could go home when the doctor said, which was sort of true as she had moved there from hospital.