Well the day eventually arrived where we had to take my mum into a home - and it went as good as we could ever have hoped for!!
I haven't posted for a while as I have been quite unwell and in a lot of pain these past couple of weeks and mum has deteriorated even more. I have been at my wits end and asked for an emergency appointment with the doctor yesterday to discuss mum. Anyway she agreed to emergency respite care with the intention of it continuing into full time care. I eventually decided to go along with my brother and the rest of his family that mum should go to the local nursing home where my niece works. The doctor agreed to tell mum today as I had an appointment arranged for late morning. My brother went with me and I am sure my mum guessed what we were up to in advance!!! Anyway the doctor asked if she would like to go for a nice break for a few weeks as I was too unwell to look after her at the moment and after a very long silence and encouragement from brother and me she agreed. Two hours later we had her in place in the home (my niece arranged everything yesterday and made her room look nice with box of chocolates etc.) We decided to do it fast while she still remembered that the doctor suggested it!! By tomorrow it would be our fault!!
My niece drove mum there with myself brother and my husband in separate car. She said to my niece on the way there that she accepted this is what happened to old people like her and that she knew it was for more than two weeks!!
When we arrived at the home everyone made her feel so important and did all the "doctor" bits like blood pressure temperature etc. She then found that an old schoolfriend that she really had liked was in a room a few doors away together with her husband (she has had a stroke but can still communicate slowly)
so that made her day that she will be there "taking care of her friend"!!!
We sat with her a few hours and she could remember that was where her sister had stayed for a couple of months before she died and that she thought the room was just like a hotel and that she was being treated like a princess and thought the doctor had been so thoughtful to arrange for her to go there!!!
We left as she was being led away for dinner! A lump in our throats but so relieved to know that she didn't make it difficult.
I know it's probably just the honeymoon period but to me the difficult bit of taking her there is now past. I feel like the weight of the world has been taken off my shoulders as I no longer need to be responsible for all the wobblies she throws every day.
We are entering a new phase now I gues .......
I haven't posted for a while as I have been quite unwell and in a lot of pain these past couple of weeks and mum has deteriorated even more. I have been at my wits end and asked for an emergency appointment with the doctor yesterday to discuss mum. Anyway she agreed to emergency respite care with the intention of it continuing into full time care. I eventually decided to go along with my brother and the rest of his family that mum should go to the local nursing home where my niece works. The doctor agreed to tell mum today as I had an appointment arranged for late morning. My brother went with me and I am sure my mum guessed what we were up to in advance!!! Anyway the doctor asked if she would like to go for a nice break for a few weeks as I was too unwell to look after her at the moment and after a very long silence and encouragement from brother and me she agreed. Two hours later we had her in place in the home (my niece arranged everything yesterday and made her room look nice with box of chocolates etc.) We decided to do it fast while she still remembered that the doctor suggested it!! By tomorrow it would be our fault!!
My niece drove mum there with myself brother and my husband in separate car. She said to my niece on the way there that she accepted this is what happened to old people like her and that she knew it was for more than two weeks!!
When we arrived at the home everyone made her feel so important and did all the "doctor" bits like blood pressure temperature etc. She then found that an old schoolfriend that she really had liked was in a room a few doors away together with her husband (she has had a stroke but can still communicate slowly)
so that made her day that she will be there "taking care of her friend"!!!
We sat with her a few hours and she could remember that was where her sister had stayed for a couple of months before she died and that she thought the room was just like a hotel and that she was being treated like a princess and thought the doctor had been so thoughtful to arrange for her to go there!!!
We left as she was being led away for dinner! A lump in our throats but so relieved to know that she didn't make it difficult.
I know it's probably just the honeymoon period but to me the difficult bit of taking her there is now past. I feel like the weight of the world has been taken off my shoulders as I no longer need to be responsible for all the wobblies she throws every day.
We are entering a new phase now I gues .......