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Mum wandering all the time now, trying to get her into a home today :(

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
180
Northamptonshire
Hi Everyone,
Mum 84 lives alone, alzheimers, has started wandering, and its getting worse, and worse. We've been called by concerned neighbours, its been reported to SS by another neighbour too, and people have found her wandering down the road and brought her home, its got to a point where it doesn't matter how many times a day the carers come, she will not stay indoors. The minute the carer goes, or we go she off out. day and night now. We put her to bed and she gets up again and goes out. We started with a night time security visit around 11pm in addition to the 3 x visits daily and us going every evening with food etc. We have come to the conclusion that Mum now needs 24hrs supervision for her own safety. Weve completed a Herbert Protocol Form, as advised by the carer agency.

SS are trying to get Mum into a home, but due to the lockdown they are not accepting any new residents. Any advice anyone out there please?
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,228
Yorkshire
I really wish I had @MrsV

Maybe Admiral Nurses can help, if not one locally they have a helpline

Maybe ask about having your mum sectioned... sorry that sounds extreme... but virus aside, she is putting herself at extreme risk, getting lost at night with no-one about to help her doesn't bear thinking of

Sorry.. don't mean to add to your worrying
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,754
Nottinghamshire
Does your mum have a garden @MrsV ? When my dad started wandering I locked his front door and garden gate so he could get outside to his garden but couldn’t wander off and get lost. Obviously not a long term solution, but could keep her safer for now.

My dad was sectioned and didn’t even know it had happened but it got him into a safe place so what @Shedrech suggests is worth looking into.

I hope SS find somewhere soon.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
Hi @MrsV, sorry to hear about your plight with Mum. We went through the same situation. I expect Mum doesn't recognise her own home and is wandering to 'get home'. I think you are right to be looking at residential care. I don't know what your situation is but if you can self-fund perhaps you can make your own enquiries with Care Homes - it may just be limited to the Care Homes that the Local Authority have contracts with. That said, it may well be that all are no accepting new residents. Such a difficult dilemma for you, it does sound as though you have done everything possible for Mum in her current situation. However, have you thought of getting a tracker or a camera for the door, and or door alarms - I'm just thinking of some additional measures that may help in the interim. All the best.
 

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
180
Northamptonshire
I really wish I had @MrsV

Maybe Admiral Nurses can help, if not one locally they have a helpline

Maybe ask about having your mum sectioned... sorry that sounds extreme... but virus aside, she is putting herself at extreme risk, getting lost at night with no-one about to help her doesn't bear thinking of

Sorry.. don't mean to add to your worrying
Hi Shedrech,
No problem, we were actually thinking it might have to come to sectioning if a bed could not be found for Mum. Unfortunately, Admiral Nurses don't operate in our area we asked a while ago. Thankfully SS found Mum a place at the weekend. At least we know she is safe now. thanks for your support
 

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
180
Northamptonshire
Does your mum have a garden @MrsV ? When my dad started wandering I locked his front door and garden gate so he could get outside to his garden but couldn’t wander off and get lost. Obviously not a long term solution, but could keep her safer for now.

My dad was sectioned and didn’t even know it had happened but it got him into a safe place so what @Shedrech suggests is worth looking into.

I hope SS find somewhere soon.
Thanks Bunpoots.
She does have a garden but it wasn't enough for her in the end. Sadly to say we had to put Mum in a care home at the weekend. But thank you for your kind advice.
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
542
We are waiting for SS to find mum a placement so she can leave hospital so it was reassuring to hear that a place was found for your mum.

I am hoping that between the hospital discharge team and mum's social worker ( only appointed last week through intervention by the hospital) somewhere will be found.

Initially, against our wishes, there was talk of mum going home with a care plan ( even after following a serious fall the house will need adaptions and that mums existing care agency who just make weekend visits, cannot not increase their input) but when the SS realised that mum is a wanderer ( does not get lost) and goes to her local food shop several times a day and stands at the garden gate chatting to people, especially children who she tries to touch, they went into panic mode because of the lockdown and now agree with us.

I know mum will have to go anywhere and we won't have a choice or be able to visit which is distressing but nothing we can do. Once things get back to normal, we will move mum to somewhere that we choose.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
Hi @MrsV, it sounds like the only real choice, I'm pleased you were able to find somewhere in these chaotic times - at least you have peace of mind that Mum is safe.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
but when the SS realised that mum is a wanderer ( does not get lost) and goes to her local food shop several times a day and stands at the garden gate chatting to people, especially children who she tries to touch, they went into panic mode because of the lockdown and now agree with us.
Hi @Lynmax, it sounds as though sanity has prevailed - I don't think you would have ever been able to relax at all. But I know it doesn't completely mitigate your anxiety, not being able to see the home or Mum (I assume it will be locked down). I'm not sure if your Mum is able to communicate via the 'phone or skype but perhaps after a while when she is settled in the home you could maybe speak to her?

Take care of yourself.
 

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
180
Northamptonshire
Hi @MrsV, it sounds like the only real choice, I'm pleased you were able to find somewhere in these chaotic times - at least you have peace of mind that Mum is safe.

Hi @MrsV, it sounds like the only real choice, I'm pleased you were able to find somewhere in these chaotic times - at least you have peace of mind that Mum is safe.
Hi Pete1,

Thank you for your good wishes. Yes we are relieved. As it all happened so fast, we don't know how long Mum will be in the care home, SS has hinted that she could be out after the initial10 weeks placement. The CH is on lockdown, so we are unable to see Mum at all. We rang, but Mum doesnt understand the phone anymore, she just repeats what you say and looks totally vacant. Mum was admitted urgently due to wandering concerns, for her own safety. I dont see how they could let her return back home to living alone with 3 x carers again. Does anyone know if they start wandering again? Its very worrying over the weekend al the news about CH's is scary.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
Hi @MrsV, it can be really difficult to communicate via the 'phone - have you tried Skype (although that also may not work for your Mum). The other thing is perhaps to send Mum a letter or a card with a message in telling her what you are getting up to, perhaps with some photos inside? My Mum used to like this from my sibling who lived a distance away - it was something she could read, put down, and pick up again.

I'm not sure they will be able to provide care for Mum in her own property anymore if she wanders. I found it 'stopped' when my Mum went into Residential Care, but only because staff were on hand to comfort her when she was sun-downing. I would suggest if Mum went home the likelihood would be she would wander again trying to get 'home'. I wish you all the best. Stay strong.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,370
South coast
Mum was another one who stopped understanding what a phone was and that there was someone at the other end - she would just say random stuff into the phone. She was also a wanderer and Im afraid that once she started she continued right up until she lost mobility. Even in her care home she was wandering round all the corridors at night, chatting to the carers and looking for a way out.

I would ask for a Best Interest Meeting at the end of the 10 weeks. When mum went into her care home it was straight from hospital and she had 6 weeks reablement. At the end of it there was a Best Interest Meeting which was attended by her GP, the care home manager, the SW, mum and me, to decide whether mum could go home with carers. At the end of it it was unanimously decided that mum should stay in the care home.
 

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
180
Northamptonshire
Mum was another one who stopped understanding what a phone was and that there was someone at the other end - she would just say random stuff into the phone. She was also a wanderer and Im afraid that once she started she continued right up until she lost mobility. Even in her care home she was wandering round all the corridors at night, chatting to the carers and looking for a way out.

I would ask for a Best Interest Meeting at the end of the 10 weeks. When mum went into her care home it was straight from hospital and she had 6 weeks reablement. At the end of it there was a Best Interest Meeting which was attended by her GP, the care home manager, the SW, mum and me, to decide whether mum could go home with carers. At the end of it it was unanimously decided that mum should stay in the care home.
Thankyou Canary,
Thanks for the advice. We aim to ask for that meeting at the end of the period. In the meantime, Mums home rang us to say 5 residents have passed away with COVID, another few have tested positive and some staff have tested positive. Mum so far seems ok and they've isolated her in her room for her own safety. We still are unable to see Mum and are worried.
 

domp51

New member
Apr 24, 2020
3
Hi Everyone,
Mum 84 lives alone, alzheimers, has started wandering, and its getting worse, and worse. We've been called by concerned neighbours, its been reported to SS by another neighbour too, and people have found her wandering down the road and brought her home, its got to a point where it doesn't matter how many times a day the carers come, she will not stay indoors. The minute the carer goes, or we go she off out. day and night now. We put her to bed and she gets up again and goes out. We started with a night time security visit around 11pm in addition to the 3 x visits daily and us going every evening with food etc. We have come to the conclusion that Mum now needs 24hrs supervision for her own safety. Weve completed a Herbert Protocol Form, as advised by the carer agency.

SS are trying to get Mum into a home, but due to the lockdown they are not accepting any new residents. Any advice anyone out there please?
Hi
My mum was in the same situation, wondering round all the time, this is because they're brain is telling them to do this, my mum had Vascular Dementia, plus wasent very good on her feet.
We had to put her in a home where she was just allowed to wonder whenever she wanted, even at night.
The only thing I can think of is asking for night time care for when u cant be there all the time, it's hard at the mo with all this going on, plus see if any one will help through the day on a rota basis, theres plenty of people looking for something to do as not working.
Hope you get sorted. X
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,370
South coast
Mums home rang us to say 5 residents have passed away with COVID, another few have tested positive and some staff have tested positive. Mum so far seems ok and they've isolated her in her room for her own safety. We still are unable to see Mum and are worried.
Im sorry. There are never good solutions for dementia (and even if you do find one it doesnt last long) - now even more so than other times. I guess what you have got is the least worst.
I hope your mum stays well
xxx
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,228
Yorkshire
hello @Debsween
just to offer a warm welcome to DTP

you didn't put your mum in her care home, you made the tough decision that the best for her was a move into residential care and thoughtfully and kindly arranged that for her ... my dad moved a lot in his life, so I thought of it as his final move into a new home, and the staff treated him so well they came to feel like family