Mum thinks she has been kidnapped. What to say?!

[MikeBrazil]

Hello All,
New here but regular reader. My Mum has Alzheimer's, lives with Dad who is her Carer. I live 230 miles away but visit two weekends a month. My brother and cousin live closer. I regularly meet M & D on zoom / phone and mostly Mum is "alright" Last night she told me she had been kidnapped by this "Man" (Dad), didn't know where she was and wanted to go home. We have had similar conversations but not on the level of being kidnapped! I really didn't know what to say to her - any advice?! Classic sundowning time too - late afternoon.

She was quite calm as she is on higher does of ADs, now on mematine and recently been prescribed an anti-psychotic drug, which i think has calmed her down a lot. Well, she wasn't crying or aggressive last night, more like "stoned" poor lady.

My cousin went round later and seem to have turned it round.

I'd be interested if there are any tips what Dad and others can say to Mum in these situations of "kidnap".

Thank you, Mike

 

[marionq]

“I know that man Mum and he is really kind. He’ll look after you for a while so you dont have to worry. I’ll be down to see you next ?? and then we can sort it out. Are you ready for a cup of tea and a biscuit?”

Keep your comments short and bland.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

You know your mum best so you probably know what methods would or wouldn't work best to distract her.

Sometimes the 'ridiculous' delusions are really hard to deal with. It's said you should try to 'enter their world' but I'm afraid I wasn't able to do that. My mother was also 'kidnapped' a few times and had been brought on board 'this ship' (the care home room!) but I generally used humour or sarcasm to break the spell. Told her we'd have a whip round for the ransom money but not to expect a big response. 'People might give money to keep you away!' That made her laugh and the crisis was gone for another day. But that was my mum - that wouldn't work for everyone. When she was convinced her father had been in an accident and they wouldn't let her out to go visit him, I told her that they were moving her dad to a closer place and that we'd go see him there once he was settled.

She certainly kept me on my toes thinking of a plausible reply. Her delusions were very detailed and she was utterly convinced by them. I even took in a notebook and would take notes of all the unbelievable events that had occurred since my last visit then promise to write a letter of complaint. Dear Mama was fond of complaining...

Hope you come up with something that works...

 

[Duggies-girl]

My dad was kidnapped and dumped in a barn (hospital) I told him that I would get him out in the morning. He was in there for three weeks and I told him that every day.

 

[margherita]

My husband has just told me he is furious because someone broke into our house while we were out food shopping.
I grunted, rolled my eyes and said "I' ll report to the police". Then I went on cooking lunch.
I have noticed my husband doesn't really need or expect a logical answer to his umpteenth delusion.
Anything would do, also " it's raining " or " what a lovely day". Also because by the time I answer, he has already forgotten what he had said