Mum thinks I'm her

Boldredrosie

Registered User
Mar 13, 2012
244
So this is an odd one. On a number of occasions recently my mother has thought I'm her and, obviously that's a very confusing thing to feel. I should say that I look very much like my mother (and her sister and her mum -- we're all peas in a pod). Has anybody else experienced something similar?

My Ma has been in her very lovely care home for about two and half years. She's settled well and is very well cared for but obviously she's declining and has some days that are better than others. This business of thinking I'm her is quite new and I'm not sure how to handle it. Any thoughts welcomed.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,012
Scotland
That is complicated! I have been my mother or my daughter or even my daughters sister to my husband but you’ve gone one further!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,342
South coast
Wow, I thought I had come across everything with the person who thought they were actually dead, but this is a new one on me.

Do you mean that she thinks that it is her that is standing infront of her, or does she mean that she thinks you have the same name?
Can you make light of it by saying something like "I know, we could be twins!" and then changing the subject?
 

SpanishAnnie

Registered User
Apr 26, 2018
45
What does she say to you when relating you as her ? I ask as my FIL gets all the family relationships all muddled up too, all of the various family members in there. But what we find is that on some occasions he is using the wrong word, so l’ll say it’s Ann, your DIL and he’ll laugh and say ahh yes sorry. Depends on his mood and how the day has gone as sometimes it’s confusing to correct them.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,498
Yorkshire
hi @Boldredrosie
there's a lady in dad's care home who I have hardly ever heard call herself by 'I' or 'me' she talks of herself by name eg 'come on (name) sit down' or '(name) wants a cuppa', and she calls everyone else by her name - it'ss as though her name has become her word for a person, any person
so maybe your mum knows you are close and important to her, as if you are another her, and therefore gives you her name and identity
 

Boldredrosie

Registered User
Mar 13, 2012
244
hi @Boldredrosie
there's a lady in dad's care home who I have hardly ever heard call herself by 'I' or 'me' she talks of herself by name eg 'come on (name) sit down' or '(name) wants a cuppa', and she calls everyone else by her name - it'ss as though her name has become her word for a person, any person
so maybe your mum knows you are close and important to her, as if you are another her, and therefore gives you her name and identity
Nah, for a few moments she's convinced I'm her. It's all very peculiar. I had just about got used to being her mum and her sister but actually being her has been a whole new experience for me.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,012
Scotland
Do you look like your mother when she was young? When she looks at you is she seeing what she might have looked like at your age and thinks it is herself. I often get a glimpse of myself in the mirror looking like my mother and increasingly I see my eldest daughter looking like her. Genes are funny old things.
 

Boldredrosie

Registered User
Mar 13, 2012
244
Do you look like your mother when she was young? When she looks at you is she seeing what she might have looked like at your age and thinks it is herself. I often get a glimpse of myself in the mirror looking like my mother and increasingly I see my eldest daughter looking like her. Genes are funny old things.
oh yes, I look very much like her, more so now I'm in my 50s.