Mum- Stop, start eating.

[garfield3]

Hello good people,

Hope your week is not looking too bad on this journey. If it is though , sending strength.

A quick question. Mum over the last few weeks has had 2-3 days of not eating or drinking then being OK for her for a few days. Not eating lots though. Her weight is down a lb from last week. I know not that much. Constipation was a problem, but the home seems to have sorted it. Has anyone else had this issue.? The nurse when asked said it could be the new norn. I feel she is winding down. Hubby's dad started like this.

Thanks.

 

[Moose1966]

Hello good people,

Hope your week is not looking too bad on this journey. If it is though , sending strength.

A quick question. Mum over the last few weeks has had 2-3 days of not eating or drinking then being OK for her for a few days. Not eating lots though. Her weight is down a lb from last week. I know not that much. Constipation was a problem, but the home seems to have sorted it. Has anyone else had this issue.? The nurse when asked said it could be the new norn. I feel she is winding down. Hubby's dad started like this.

Thanks.

Hi my mum is 86 in care, zero mobility and sleeps all the time , they do manage to get her up and dressed and into main lounge that way they can keep an eye on her . She hasn’t been coping or wanting to eat for a few weeks , when I visit a usually feed her if she is willing a yoghurt or custard etc. This last week she’s been choking on soft food and fluids so it’s not looking good . I don’t want her force fed or kept alive when I feel now her body is shutting down . She’s very calm and not in pain almost hibernating is how I describe her . She’ will have an Ensure drink but that’s about it now , the home as we are all aware cannot say how long but for her sake I hope it’s not too long . Thinking of you and the horror journey we are on , never ever did I see this coming ☹️

 

[garfield3]

Hi my mum is 86 in care, zero mobility and sleeps all the time , they do manage to get her up and dressed and into main lounge that way they can keep an eye on her . She hasn’t been coping or wanting to eat for a few weeks , when I visit a usually feed her if she is willing a yoghurt or custard etc. This last week she’s been choking on soft food and fluids so it’s not looking good . I don’t want her force fed or kept alive when I feel now her body is shutting down . She’s very calm and not in pain almost hibernating is how I describe her . She’ will have an Ensure drink but that’s about it now , the home as we are all aware cannot say how long but for her sake I hope it’s not too long . Thinking of you and the horror journey we are on , never ever did I see this coming ☹️

Nasty, isn't. All we can do is ride this storm. Mum is 94. You don't want them to go, but it is quality of life. When I saw mum at Xmas she was getting up set and tearful about ( gran) her mum who was very sick at the end and died at home with my mum and dad both there at the end . It was 40yrs ago.

Enjoy the good moments no matter how small.

 

[BrianSausage]

I’m going through exactly the same.

My mum doesn’t eat for a couple of days and then will eat half her lunch!
She hasn’t eaten anything now for nearly 48 hours. She weighs 7 stone. Sleeps 95% of the time, speaks of her mum constantly, doubly incontinent, in fact has most of the end of life signs!
She isn’t in pain and the NH have got on top of her constipation.

I just hope her journey is over soon. It is so sad for us who have to watch.

 

[Moose1966]

I’m going through exactly the same.

My mum doesn’t eat for a couple of days and then will eat half her lunch!
She hasn’t eaten anything now for nearly 48 hours. She weighs 7 stone. Sleeps 95% of the time, speaks of her mum constantly, doubly incontinent, in fact has most of the end of life signs!
She isn’t in pain and the NH have got on top of her constipation.

I just hope her journey is over soon. It is so sad for us who have to watch.

Keep strong

 

[garfield3]

I’m going through exactly the same.

My mum doesn’t eat for a couple of days and then will eat half her lunch!
She hasn’t eaten anything now for nearly 48 hours. She weighs 7 stone. Sleeps 95% of the time, speaks of her mum constantly, doubly incontinent, in fact has most of the end of life signs!
She isn’t in pain and the NH have got on top of her constipationew.

I just hope her journey is over soon. It is so sad for us who have to watch.

Hi BrianSausage,

Hope you are hanging in there. It is spooky reading your post. I could be looking at the same person bar the weight just now.
This is a race I don't want anyone to win but it is inevitable.
Keep us posted on things. Take care.

 

[Linbrusco]

Yep, in a similar situation here too.
My Mum has developed a chest infection now and her care home is finalising all the paper work due to Mum being government funded to be moved from Dementia Care to Hospital Care. Same Care Home but a move from 3rd floor to 2nd.
I find my head full of all the practical stuff & paperwork & decisions ahead...

 

[Ostrich63]

I’m going through exactly the same.

My mum doesn’t eat for a couple of days and then will eat half her lunch!
She hasn’t eaten anything now for nearly 48 hours. She weighs 7 stone. Sleeps 95% of the time, speaks of her mum constantly, doubly incontinent, in fact has most of the end of life signs!
She isn’t in pain and the NH have got on top of her constipation.


My thoughts are with you. Heart-breaking times.

I just hope her journey is over soon. It is so sad for us who have to watch.

 

[Alison66]

I’m going through exactly the same.

My mum doesn’t eat for a couple of days and then will eat half her lunch!
She hasn’t eaten anything now for nearly 48 hours. She weighs 7 stone. Sleeps 95% of the time, speaks of her mum constantly, doubly incontinent, in fact has most of the end of life signs!
She isn’t in pain and the NH have got on top of her constipation.

I just hope her journey is over soon. It is so sad for us who have to watch.

Hi Brian,

I haven't been on in quite a while. I see by your post that your mum is still going through her journey. Again, I have no words to comfort you (I know you didn't ask) It's now 7 weeks today since my mum ended her struggle and I miss her dreadfully even though at the very end I was praying for it to be over for her and I certainly didn't want her to go on as she was. I just feel so lost without her.

Thinking about you and your mum and praying that she gets the peace you want for her.

Much love to you and yours

Alison x

 

[Baby Bunty]

Hi to all above...my mum same..its soul destroying to watch..i honestly do not know how my mum is still here..asleep 23 hours a day...nothing but 3 tiny month ful off yought or custard..but today struggling with drinks..i think this disease is bloody cruel..and stripps people off there dignity..i too believe mum is winding down now..on patches but having more orormorph and haliprodol...god bless you all and stenght be with you.xxxx

 

[BrianSausage]

Hi Alison

Thank you for your message.

Mums still hanging on in there. Things have been really strange.
Last week she kept trying to get out of bed and the NH had to put a crash mat down in case she tumbled out.
She’s having to have medazolam most days to keep her calm. She was really agitated today. Can’t understand a word she says, but out of nowhere she started to sing “Away in a Manger”!! Bizarre!!

I am getting to the end of my thether! She’s still hardly eating or drinking. Nothing to eat at all Sat or today. Not sure about yesterday.

I just want this nightmare over!

 

[Melles Belles]

@BrianSausage I understand completely. We’re going through similar with our Dad. He was an atheist throughout his like but he now wants to say prayers and an Old Testament bible. An insurance policy my brother thinks. Wishing you strength.

 

[Alison66]

Hi Alison

Thank you for your message.

Mums still hanging on in there. Things have been really strange.
Last week she kept trying to get out of bed and the NH had to put a crash mat down in case she tumbled out.
She’s having to have medazolam most days to keep her calm. She was really agitated today. Can’t understand a word she says, but out of nowhere she started to sing “Away in a Manger”!! Bizarre!!

I am getting to the end of my thether! She’s still hardly eating or drinking. Nothing to eat at all Sat or today. Not sure about yesterday.

I just want this nightmare over!

Oh Brian, my heart goes out to you, it really does. I'm so sorry that your mum is having to have the medazolam because watching someone go through the end of their life is bad enough but when having to be medicated for agitation (as my dad did) isis ju awful. As always I'm thinking of you, your mum and your family and wishing peace for you all. I wish I could save a magic wand and set you all free from this living nightmare but that's impossible. I do understand your pain though and pray for strength to see you through. You're mum is lucky to have such a caring son and somewhere inside she knows that too.

Much love to you all

Alison xx

 

[canary]

Hello @garfield3
How are things?

 

[garfield3]

Hello @garfield3
How are things?

Hi canary,
Thanks for asking. Not too bad. As mentioned mum is 47.7kg last week. Down just over a kilo at the moment. She hadn't been weighed yet this week when I phoned Monday. She is still being got up in the morning and eating a lot of bread and jam. Feel she has got ages to go since not bed bound, still sleeping loads. Same old same old. Doesn't stop the worry though. Nurses not worried about weight loss and have not been put back on forsip yet. Just waiting for the not eating and drinking moments to join up!!

Hubby's dads funeral went OK. A lot harder that expected, he thought it was going to be really bad anyway. A lot of tears. A very good turn out. Sibling and grand kids wrote eulogies. Lovely. Glad hubby got there even though I couldn't . All over now.

How are things with you?