feeling very upset, today mum can't stand to support herself that's new. Mum has vascular dementia, She is in bed all the time now, not eating for some weeks now, only drinking, lost so much weight, sleeping 98% of the time incontinent, very little speech. Sometimes she is very alert for a minute or two and then sleeps again, she is comfortable and knows who I am but it's so hard to watch and I feel so helpless. Just on a real down this morning it's really me. As I'm alone at the moment caring for mum thought if I shared by writing on here might help, thanks for listening, the forum really helps.
Mum so weak, how much longer can she hold on
- Thread starter Myo
- Start date
Hi Myo, we are in similar position, my mother in law (84) who got mix dementia , was living in her own house until 20th june, she wasnt able to walk or stand and even 2 carers couldnt cope, she went to hospital and she was going to be moved to a care home on the 10th july, we noted that she was loosing so much weight , we keep asking if she eating and they said yes good appetite, they wanted to discharge on the 28th june and was a battle to keep her in hospital until 10th july, finally she got moved to a care home ( nhs bed) on the 2nd july and since she got even thinner , she stop talking and doctor confirm on 9th july she is blind, she is not eating or drinking from 9th july , she is not moving right arm or leg, she is only moving left side ( maybe a stroke?) , doctor also said she is too ill to move to a care home we have reserved. We think we cant get worse but she is getting worse, alll the experience been horrendous, it is already terrrible to see a love one in this condition and need to have problems with social work and hospital. We are doing turns to dont leave her alone and hoping she doesnt have any pain.
Hello @Myo
I'm so sorry this new development has happened and your understandable distress. This happened with my own mum a few months back and my reaction was exactly the same as yours. However, since then, mum (who is in a CH) has amazed us with moments of lucidity and even humour! Yesterday for the first time since her downturn, I arrived to find her dressed and inher wheelchair! Yes it was a one-off and my visit this morning found her sound asleep. The effort of yesterday (including us sitting in the garden) has clearly zonked her and no wonder! It is heartbreaking for you I know and I know that feeling of helplessness so very well. Please believe me; you ARE helping her just by being with her. Even when she appears oblivious, she will know you are there. I'm sorry mum is too poorly to move to the CH. Are you getting any help at all? If not you should be - for mum and for yourself. Have you had a Carer's Assessment - you are entitled to this. It is in no way an indication you are not coping. It is to ensure you are receiving the right support and can also address any additional help mum may need. Please keep us posted and that's not a "standard response" it is from me personally because I understand and I genuinely care. TP has changed my outlook and given me renewed strength and heaven knows, we all need support. Sending you Love and Hugs xxx
Myo I am at this stage with my mum just now, she hasnt eatwn todsy, cannot get her dentures in her mouth and looks so vulnerable and helpless. She is in CH but as i work FT i struggle to be there all time, try to visit most nights and both days at weekend but its soo difficult i feel completely helpless. Take care xx
