Hello everyone,
I haven't posted here for about 12 months. My beloved Mum passed away aged 93 in November 2014. I had been her carer for 5 years before she finally moved to a nursing home. My grief hasn't got any better in the meantime, it's just got different.
As time passes I feel Mum's loss even more deeply. The newness and disbelief have faded, and now I just have the reality. I'm walking and talking, eating and sleeping, but feel desolate inside.
Even now when stuff happens my first reaction is "Can't wait to tell Mum". Or when something good happens, or something I know would amuse her, I feel it so badly that I can't tell her, and make her smile. My Mum just understood me, like no-one else. And I understood her.
Last Christmas and new year passed in a mist of sorrow. It didn't really register that it was a festive period for everyone else. This year though it's worse, I'm more conscious that it's Christmas and I haven't got a Mum any more.
When I reflect on how hard I worked to care for Mum, and how difficult it was over the years to get any kind of support to help me care for Mum, and how ridiculously difficult it was to get any sort of proper medical and social care for Mum herself, I can hardly believe both she and I got through it. The lack of support nearly drove me over the edge at times, but I wouldn't have not done it for all the tea in the China. Those last years together changed our relationship. We became much closer, more open and more loving with each other.
Well, thanks for listening. Just wanted to say all this to someone.
Thanks for being there.
wob xx
I haven't posted here for about 12 months. My beloved Mum passed away aged 93 in November 2014. I had been her carer for 5 years before she finally moved to a nursing home. My grief hasn't got any better in the meantime, it's just got different.
As time passes I feel Mum's loss even more deeply. The newness and disbelief have faded, and now I just have the reality. I'm walking and talking, eating and sleeping, but feel desolate inside.
Even now when stuff happens my first reaction is "Can't wait to tell Mum". Or when something good happens, or something I know would amuse her, I feel it so badly that I can't tell her, and make her smile. My Mum just understood me, like no-one else. And I understood her.
Last Christmas and new year passed in a mist of sorrow. It didn't really register that it was a festive period for everyone else. This year though it's worse, I'm more conscious that it's Christmas and I haven't got a Mum any more.
When I reflect on how hard I worked to care for Mum, and how difficult it was over the years to get any kind of support to help me care for Mum, and how ridiculously difficult it was to get any sort of proper medical and social care for Mum herself, I can hardly believe both she and I got through it. The lack of support nearly drove me over the edge at times, but I wouldn't have not done it for all the tea in the China. Those last years together changed our relationship. We became much closer, more open and more loving with each other.
Well, thanks for listening. Just wanted to say all this to someone.
Thanks for being there.
wob xx